Jay Ko

The Brea Improv was so packed the only open seat was my lap. No time was wasted in bringing Tony Baker to the stage. "If you're sitting at a table having a conversation with friends and you've also got a conversation going on in your bluetooth earpiece , close your eyes! That's right, if you're on the phone close your eyes so I know you're not talking to me. . .Can't just be double-dippin' in conversations like that." Whether it be that statement or the dimples, everybody was now on Tony's side, except for that guy in the back who missed it because he was on his bluetooth. Speaking of dimples, check out Baker in this hilarious Gay Hunt video. Why? Because I said so.


You know, it is a recession. Jerrod Carmichael seems to know that better than anybody. "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Then people on welfare shouldn't be allowed to eat breakfast. . .What are they preparing for?" For those of us who can't decide whether or not school is right for us, Jerrod has some career advice that is just what the community college counselor ordered. "College is something you do for a nice car and house one day. Stripping is what you do when you need that sh** by Tuesday." I have seen the error of my ways.

Speaking of stripping, who wants to go to a strip club when they turn 18? Exactly, nobody. But this popular comedy showcase is open to ages 18 and up. And you can point your friends out to Adam Ray, guest star on "According to Jim, " so that he can humiliate them. "Got any 18 year-olds in here tonight? Yeah, look at you with that I can't drink but I'll still not wear a condom look on your face." I don't know if it was the backwards hat or the degree in theater from USC, but the audience loved this guy. I know you were wondering, so the answer is yes Adam does have a bone to pick with coffee. "For me the best part of waking up is not Folger's in my cup. They should change that song to the best part of waking up. . .Is not dying in your sleep!"


Next up was a heavy hitter, coming to us by way of a Filipino mom and a half-black, half-Korean dad. "My parents are like Tiger Woods' only disappointed, " said Jay Ko describing his unique look. He also had high hopes for himself as a boy. "When I was little my teacher asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I said a ninja, but she said I couldn't. Well, they just opened a ninja school in North Hollywood so now I can. I'd like to just appear in her classroom and be like what's up Mrs. Watts? Guess who's a ninja! And then slit her throat and disappear." Jay lets not forget that as ninjas we hate samurai and pirates-not teachers. Although I will make an exception just this once, grasshopper.


"I'm in a bad mood today because I found out my fiancés cheating on me. We've been broken up for two years, but still. . ." And wherever she is she's probably kicking herself in the ass because this whole show is the brainchild of it's producer, comedian Nick Cervantes. Formerly a broadcast major, I can't imagine why he changed his mind. "You know a news reporter is the only job where if there's a hurricane, you still have to show up." After a couple of great pantomime-accompanied jokes, which I encourage you to go see in person, Cervantes left us with a bit of political humor. "I bet suicide bombers are the only criminals relieved when they get arrested. I'm surprised more of them don't turn themselves in."


You can check out this soon-to-be household name in comedy, and a new favorite of mine, K-Von on MTV's premiere of "Disaster Date" this Monday at 6pm. "I bought one of those Bumpits to put in my pants. See, lying isn't just for you ladies!" This guy has more energy than Tom Cruise when he infamously jumped on the couch. K-Von is political, "I don't care what you think about him Obama's the best black President we've ever had. . .The first thing he did was kind of black though, I mean Cash For Clunkers, " street smart, "Thugs don't wear cargo pants because they'll forget which pocket the gun's in, " and socially conscious, "Black people shouldn't dunk in front of white people-Nor should white people swim in front of black people and nobody should parallel park in front of Asians." Judging by the audience's reaction, I'm surprised he didn't stage dive at the end of his set.


Mark your calendars for April 23 and set your Tivo, DVR, or whatever the hell you've got for 11pm EST because you do not want to miss Comedy Central Presents: Eliot Chang! In this economy everybody is looking for a job-Except his hands? "I hate when girls offer me a hand job as a consolation prize. . .I have hands, they have the job!" Not only is Eliot quite the romantic, but he's also a fan of honesty. "Ladies just tell me if you're not gunna have sex with me, it's fine. Just pay for your own meal 'cause I'm not Captain Saveahoe here to give you energy to f*** some other guy!" Charming.


Next up is someone you may have seen on "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien, " Brent Morin. "If you drunk-dial, grow up! Drunk-texting is where it's at. You ever been so drunk that you type the word send and then touch the screen on your Motorola razor?" There is an impeccable drunk impersonation that followed, of which I can only imagine the man hours put into rehearsing. Morin also knows his limits, but may not always abide by them. "Buzzed is fun, drunk is not fun." I concur sir, I mean so I've heard.


Last, but never least, KT Tatara. If the ground just shook beneath you it's because every time his name is mentioned everyone in Japan jumps up and down. "If a girl says I look like her ex, I should be able to f*** just to see if I feel like him too." Oh sorry, I didn't warn you that behind that great complexion and Crest smile lurks a Molotov cocktail of a mind? That's my bad. Tatara is half Japanese and half white, and apparently likes to talk about that. "My white grandfather returned home safely. . .After killing my other grandfather in Nam." I have since seen KT headline a venue for the first time and although it was his birthday, it was the audience that received the gift: two premieres! He debuted his song "Butt Sex, " which I have already added to my slow jams playlist to get me in the mood, and the trailer for his first leading roll in a movie. "Weeding Out" is a hilarious Indie Go-Go film that needs to be entered in film festivals and you can help make it happen by making a donation and receiving great prizes in return here. So do it.


Don't forget you can find all of these guys (and me!) on Twitter to get your laughs to-go. - Examiner.com

Nothing to do on a Wednesday night? Meet me at the Brea Improv for a night of laughter that is sure to provide you with a few great jokes to tell at the office Thursday morning!

"The popular showcase returns to the Brea Improv featuring comedians who have been on The Tonight Show, Comedy Centrals Live at Gotham, and [my favorite] Chelsea Lately." I attended one of these shows in December and what a Christmas gift to myself that turned out to be.


Normally when somebody tells you they have Tourettes (syndrome), your first instinct is not laughter-unless the person telling you is Samuel J Comroe. "I didn't even get the good kind, you know-Cussing. I got a twitch in my eye. My friends were trying to get me to go to this party with strobe lights. Do you see how fast my eyes blink? Every light is a strobe light to me!" It was precisely this brand of humor that landed Comroe in the LA's Funniest Comic Finals at the Jon Lovitz Club on March 1st.


The first comic of the evening was the beaming husband and father, Tony Baker. If dimples were black holes, I narrowly escaped death sitting front and center. "You can't smile in the hood with dimples!" said Baker. He is already becoming well known for his 'fade into the background' philosophy. For a quick laugh follow Tony Baker on Twitter here.


Next up coming to the stage was the mastermind behind the whole show, the producer himself, Nick Cervantes. With nuggets like, "Ever notice they always hold canned food drives, but never ask for can openers?" the audience seemed quite pleased this previous broadcasting major turned to comedy. But even before his broadcasting and comedy days, Cervantes held jobs just like most of us that were less than favorable. "I used to work at Disney Land and I'd flirt with the Little Mermaid. . .Mostly because she couldn't get away." In addition to pithy dialog, this entire show was made possible by the brain child of Nick Cervantes so expect great things from him in the future.


This guy I had never seen before, but he reserved himself a spot as one of my favorites in one fell swoop. "I hate Secret Santas. Why can't we give gifts to the people at work we really hate? You know, like give the bad breath guy a pack of gum and a card that says F*** You!" Jay Ko quickly had all of us in the crowd re-thinking our priorities. "I don't give my change to bums because I can't. I need it to make wishes." Ko left us with one last laugh that might also serve as a bit of parenting advice. "You know what you get when you put a fat kid in gymnastics? Farts." My unborn son thanks you for that Jay.


Having already seen him a few times, I watched in anticipation to see the looks of the unsuspecting audience members faces' as Thai Rivera took their minds for a spin. "When shopping for my first car I don't know if my parents knew that I preferred a Honda, but I'm sure my dad preferred a straight son so. . .We'll take what we can get." Thai ripped the stage so hard that I feared they might call an intermission to put it back together for the next guy!


Luckily, the next guy had no trouble following the previous power-house of a comedian. KT Tatara started off by playing a game with us called Girl or Kid? where he compared certain women's behavior to that of a four year-old. KT also evaluated the nature of a woman to want a man who is, "Older, smarter, richer. . .See that's why, as men, all we have left to look for is ass!" He has a lot of interesting theories that make for a great laugh, some of which you might get to check out when he headlines the Irvine Improv on March 24th. FREE tickets and more details here or email ktsguestlist@gmail.com.


You've seen him on the Chelsea Lately round table and will soon see his Comedy Central special debut later this year, but I got to see Mo Mandel up close and personal. "My friends warned me about becoming shallow moving to Hollywood for show business and all. . .But I don't even talk to them anymore so it's cool." As if this soon-to-be household name doesn't have enough fans he grabbed a few more with this one liner, "I don't use condoms in order to build a bigger fan base." Mandel went on to address a bigger question that most of us probably don't give enough thought to. "How do you know if you're good in bed? I wish I could bang a robot and get a printout that says something like you're a six just so I would know if I'm any good or not." I concur. After, what I now understand to be an ill-timed tap on my shoulder, Mo announced, "Never go home with a girl you meet at a comedy show. . .[looks around the room] Although tonight it's probably okay." Love you too Mo.


Quinn Dahle would round out the evening for us and bring the show to a close. "Women are smarter than men [Women in the audience go wild]. I also believe in Santa Clause." Dahle is full of one liners that are sure to make you think, once you've caught your breath from laughing so hard! "If you get fired, just turn around and fill out an application on the spot and be like I know you gotta opening." And it's that type of charisma that landed him gigs on The Tonight Show and more. "My girlfriend of five years is pregnant now. . .Ah, I'm gunna miss her."


Come out and see the show tonight at the Brea Improv!
- Examiner.com