Two people screaming as loud as they can while slamming pot lids and jumping up and down on bubble wrap!!!! Now replace the pot lids with acoustic guitars, and the bubble wrap with....well nothing and you've got According To Simon. Music made for you to hear.


This bio may sound strange but we will gladly take all the blame in this situation because…hmmm…we wrote it. We hope that our sound will stop you while you drive and make you wonder. We hope that our sound will echo through your bedroom and flood your brain with memories. We hope that our sound will make you cry about the happiest times of you life and smile about the saddest. We hope that our sound can make the introverts extroverts and vice versa. We hope that our sound will cause you to, without explanation, tell all of the immediate people in your vicinity how “tomorrow is your day to take over the world”. Okay, maybe that last one is a bit of a stretch but come on isn’t that the goal of music: to make everyone feel invincible and ready to conquer every aspect of their lives?
On stage we have essentially perfected (over the many, many years we have performed together) the art of tricking all listeners into believing 2 things: (1) We are a singer/songwriter duo & (2) We have the ability to see through space and transcend time. We really want people to listen intently to our words while we play, but we also honestly deep down just want to create a sing-a-long a la ‘sesame street’. If people do sing or clap along we tend to shy away from the attention…if people don’t sing or clap (or yell at us with expletives) we get concerned that ‘no one got it’. We like to play so hopefully you’ll like to listen.
On a more serious note Mike and Jarrod have been performing in one form or another since the beginnings of time (see we really do truly believe this). On the great empty plains known as “Southern Ontario” our friendship emerged in the halls. After acknowledging that our musical minds could better serve everyone as a single entity we began to create…. and create we did. Over the years our collaboration has taken on several different versions. Morphing from the simple acoustic duo; but remember not like the Simon & Garfunkel’s, more like the Cedrics’ & Omar’s (AKA The Mars Volta); to an acoustic fronted 5 piece and back again (on two occasions).
On a slightly less serious note…we are represented as a band by an 18 inch garden gnome named Simon. In as few words as possible, we were essentially betrothed with Simon, on the eve of our newest/current project and he has remained with us ever since. Not only does Simon act as a mascot for the band, but he is also the perfect scapegoat, because seriously we never behave badly…honest. Hopefully after reading this you will be interested instead of frightened. If you are interested…welcome, and thank you.
Jarrod & Mike & Simon


No, Are You?

Written By: Jarrod Haddock & Mike Maguire


You're walking backwards, not that you can see.
Well, it moves you nowhere, just read between these lines.
I won't admit this, i can't admit at all, not as long as i am here.

change, it needs to be made.


I won't just stand here, and watch this all fade, just leave the rest up to me

And i , won't ask, much of you, today, as long as you don't point out my wrongs.
please don't point out my faults.
my wrongs.


Exit, Stage Left

Written By: Maguire/Haddock

Just turn out your lights, don’t open your door
You think it’s at your steps, but it’s already in
This conditioning has lead us in these circles
To a manufactured faith you can’t recognize

No, No, No, No, No

Can’t you see this is how they divide us?
Look closer see these cracks in the façade
Question those who write your history
I think it’s time we/they stepped off the stage

No, No, No, No, No

Cause maybe it’s something you just cannot see
Or maybe it’s someplace you just won’t believe
You whisper to yourself how do I win?
Over and over again (please don’t give in)


Written By: Jarrod Haddock

When you’re sleepless, does your mind begin to wander?
Does your heartbeat feel like thunder? Counting away time.

And are you afraid? Has it gotten underneath your skin?
You just don’t know where to begin, or where to draw the line?

Now it’s quiet, everyone around has gone away,
You hoped that someone just might stay, to help you find the line.

But you’re trying, your doing everything you think you can
But you just don’t know when, you will find the line.

I can’t find the line.
I can’t find the line.
I can’t find the line.
I can’t find the line.

When you’re sleepless, does your mind begin to wander?
Does your heartbeat feel like thunder?


2004 - the "Aloha" CD (double CD)
- Independently recorded & produced by ATS
- Top10 McMaster CFMU charts
- Rotation on Mohawk CIOI

2005 - the "Would You Care" EP
- recorded at New Moon Studios, London Ont.

2006 - "We Won't Ask Much Of You Today CD
- Independently recorded & produced

ATS is approaching 100,000 plays on purevolume simply by word-of-mouth.

Set List

In random order:

A Catch 22 From Beyond the Fence
Yellow Ribbon
Short VS Long Track
Just Keep Dancing
With Honesty
Exit, Stage Left
No, Are You?
Circle Kills the Square

In the event that time permits us to do a cover we tend to sway towards something a bit more obscure. However, here are a few artists that we have been heard re-interpreting:

Death Cab For Cutie
Dashboard Confessional
Jimmy Eat World
Tommy James & the Shondells
Etta James