Adam LoDolce
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Adam LoDolce

Allendale, Michigan, United States

Allendale, Michigan, United States
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"ADAM LODOLCE: BEING ALONE SUCKS!"

Adam LoDolce has been helping Bostonians get laid for about three years. He left his boring corporate job to become a motivational speaker and author who tours the country giving talks and offering dating advice. Additionally, he is pretty much a B.A. stud-muffin at large on his Harley Davidson V-Rod. His latest book, Being Alone Sucks! (May 2011), exemplifies his idea of Ultimate Social Freedom, or the power to go up to any biddy and get her number with confidence.

Why does being alone suck?
When I went to college it was a really tough scene. I was like, “Once I get out of college, everything’s gonna change. I’m going to go out and make a ton of money, have the sweetest car, and just be that guy who all the girls love.” And then I got out of college and got this really great consulting job. I was making a ton of money and got the really sweet apartment, car, and all that stuff. But nothing changed. I still had issues meeting women. I found that the dating scene is something that people really struggle with. And I’m not saying being single sucks. The point of this is that you have options. You want to feel like at any given time you can just go up and talk to someone. If I see someone I like, I just want to go over and have a casual conversation. That for me was a breakthrough time in my life, realizing, “Hey, I can just go up to any person I want at any time – I don’t care.” And for me that changed so much during that time period.

Fave icebreaker?
I am all about the high fives. Everyone laughs at a high five, if you’re 10 years old or 90 years old.

That’s where I find that I’ll go from having a serious meeting with someone to a more playful tone.

Do you think you’re like the male version of Sex and the City?
[Laughs] Uh, sort of. I’ll say yes.

Does Charlie Sheen have too much social freedom?
Absolutely. He is outgoing and really arrogant. If you have a high amount of social freedom without a high self-image or self-esteem, then you’re just that guy who’s Charlie Sheen who has a hole inside of him who’s just this total jerk.

What was your best dating experience with a girl?
I was at a Bruins game once and it was just a completely random night. I was just with a bunch of guys from work before I started doing what I’m doing now. We were just hanging out-–no expectations of meeting any women. There was this girl that was just insanely wild at the game. You could tell she was just really, really getting into it. She was with a huge group of guys–-a very intimidating number of guys. I said that I had to meet this girl. So I went up to her and was just like: “You are just the most obnoxious person here. You really need to tone it down.” I gave it a very sarcastic tonality. And just immediately we clicked. She’ll always be Bruins girl to me. I started going out with her for awhile. It was just a really funny experience because it’s just so intimidating to be talking to a girl around a huge group of guys at a game.




And your worst?
I had never done online dating ever until recently in the past year. I started going on a lot of online dates and there was this one girl I went out with, and we met in Allston. I was sitting out front, just waiting, and I got a call and she was like, “Oh, we’ll be there in a minute.” And I’m like, ‘Who is we?’ So she shows up with her new roommate and this guy who is also on an online date, and the guy was such a chump. We were sitting there and he was so uncomfortable and being kind of rude to the group and killing the vibe the entire time. And everyone felt so awkward. So literally–-this is so horrible-–after about half an hour I just excused myself from the table and just walked out. I didn’t like the girl either and was just like, “Listen, something came up,” and just walked out of there.

That was a horrific experience. So you’ve got to be careful with online dating, that’s for sure.

How did you get that piercing?
I quit my job about a year ago and kind of just told my boss to fuck off. I immediately pierced my ear and dyed my hair black because I wanted to do something edgy. My hair black was atrocious, so I learned not to do that anymore. But I learned to go from being a corporate dude to not ever going back to that type of lifestyle, and I’ve kept my piercing ever since.

Best pick-up line?
In the summer a really quick one is “Excuse me, I have a very serious question…” (I start everything with I have a serious question.) “Do you know where I can get some delicious hot chocolate right now?” And they’re like, ‘Are you kidding me?’ and laugh. So that would be a fun, quick one-liner.

So, what’s your sign?
Gemini. I definitely fit the Gemini sign for sure. I find a way to not fit the social norm in pretty much everything I do in my life and I started a business that is specifically helping people get out of the social norm.

Then the guru offered some insight on a few dating scenarios.

My best friend always goes for bad boys, and I c - Dig - Boston


"Online ads offer tickets for a date!"

Some of the hardest tickets to get may not be out of reach — if you’re single and OK with sitting next to a complete stranger with romantic intentions.

With the Bruins in the midst of a Stanley Cup run, the Red Sox back to their winning ways and popular bands stepping on to the city’s stages, there has been an abundance of online ads offering up a free ticket if you’re good looking enough.

The ads, many of which are on Craigslist, offer up a ticket and a brief physical description of the person (most often a man) you’d be going with. The ads also request a picture or a description of yourself.

“It’s kind of creative,” said Jennifer Gibbs, an associate professor of communication at Rutgers, who has studied online dating.

Gibbs said that the method is a way people can online date and meet others without going through the process of setting up and paying for an online profile through a mainstream dating site.

It can also be a way of deflecting rejection when taking such a risk.

“Offering tickets rather than offering up yourself would lessen the rejection. It’s easy not to take it personally. They’re not rejecting you, they’re rejecting the tickets,” she said.

Some dating coaches see the ads as a bad move.

Adam LoDolce, a dating coach from Boston, said he wouldn’t recommend the method to his clients for many reasons, including expense and there being no way to easily escape.

“You are totally stuck,” said LoDolce. “In most other dates, if the evening isn't going well, you can simply make an excuse to bail. However, if you are going to a sporting event, you are generally committed to staying the entire time. Who wants that type of a commitment with a first-time meet up with an online date?”

Perfect sell

Adam LoDolce, a dating coach from Boston and founder of www.ultimatesocialfreedom.com, offered some tips for crafting an ad.

» “Use a picture of yourself at a similar event to show that you are passionate.”
» “Include in the ad that you originally had a friend going with you to the event, but he/she (whichever is the opposite sex to you) just told you about a conflict.”
» “Request a picture, and I would at the very least want to speak with them before the event.”
- Metro - Boston


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Program Title and Description: Ultimate Social Freedom

Adam admits that he grew up “socially average,” struggling to connect well with others. Based on his own life experiences and extensive research, he has created a program designed to reach and transform those who struggle with similar social setbacks. He defines his signature concept of Social Freedom as the confidence to be your true self in any social situation without the fear of rejection or criticism. To that end, Adam’s Ultimate Social Freedom program will empower students to strengthen body language, trigger mental preparedness, and solidify personal belief systems to allow them the freedom to be completely comfortable and confident when meeting new people. He inspires students to challenge their social comfort zones in order to live the best college lifestyle possible – for them.

Audience Action Points:

* Teach students how to “trigger” their peak social mental/emotional state

* Move students from socially inept to socially average to socially free

* Educate the audience on the “Caveman Concept” of social fear

* Learn the “Three Step Social Freedom Process”

* Demonstrate the concept of “Exposure Therapy” for conquering social fears

* Practice the “Act as if...” body language technique exercise

* Reinforce each participants personal belief systems

* Students are taught how to handle rejection

BIO:

Adam LoDolce is a motivational high school and college speaker, a dating coach, and the author of the book Being Alone Sucks! He is also considered to be a thought leader on how to expand something known as social freedom: the ability to feel, speak, and act like your true self in any social situation without fear of rejection, criticism, or failure.

Adam graduated magna cum laude from Bentley University and immediately pursued a lucrative career consulting Fortune 500 companies. Over the years, Adam realized that wealth and professional success didn’t buy happiness or relationships, and he became absolutely determined to study, practice and improve his dating and social techniques. After two years and thousands of hours trying and testing techniques, Adam discovered the secret to building confidence and succeeding in social situations. His discoveries are the foundation of the social freedom motivational college speaking workshops and his Boston dating coaching programs.

Adam is also a writer for Betty Confidential Magazine and is the producer of Socially Free TV.