At Arms
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At Arms

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Band Metal Rock

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Music

The best kept secret in music

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Discography

Beauty and the Beach

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Bio

Hi! I’m Dr. Matt Burnham. I play guitar. I worked for Chicken Chicken for years until some asshole wouldn’t pay for a beer so I gave it to him for free. I was fired from my job and the beer baron is now my drummer. One day while the beer baron and I were on the beach we stumbled across a drunken gypsy fuck playing Matt Mays covers for beer. He was quite intoxicated and he sounded like shit. He didn’t want to join our band but we black bagged him (pretty easy to black bag drunk Germans; Vaughan didn’t want us to tell you he’s German because he loves KISS and he thinks they’re Jewish). Our second guitarist, Shawn, was invited into the band after coming to my sister’s birthday party, hitting on her, getting naked, jumping off of a rock into my pool naked and hitting on my mother after playing a game of twisty cock in front of a large group of young ladies. Banford? Who the fuck is Banford? Chives, Robocop, The Night Stalker, The Fat Chick Strangler, Ricky Ramierez, Captain Hook, Elephant Man, Cowboy???