Bacon Shoe

Bacon Shoe

BandHip HopAvant-garde

nasty funked-up electro crunk hip hop beats, hilariously strange & disgusting lyrics, uncontrollable dancing hypeman, man in a giant dog outfit cooking bacon and handing it out to the audience. did i forget something?

Biography

Bacon Shoe was formed in 1997 by John Bersuch. Some of his main influences include Bushwick Bill, Ganksta N.I.P., ESHAM the unholy, Slayer, Ween, Beck, etc. They are set apart from other rap music with their love of the extreme absurd, their experimental beats, and their strange skits. After the first cd "ASS" was made in 1997, they instantly started being asked to play shows. Soon their popularity rose to special heights in Kansas City. They are able to easily pack a venue and impress their fans over and over again. The release of "Back From Stinktion" in 2007 basically sealed the deal. They aren't going to backing down any time soon.

Lyrics

No Jelly

Written By: John Bersuch

this horse is a drug dealer in the alley

got mixed up, and took acid while I was drunk, i lost touch and i lost my lunch, my head shrunk and my forehead stunk, I was contaminated and I still am, with burt reynolds in his trans am, thick moustache and uncooked ham, you should have known that im the gonhorrea man, i fuck insects and pinch clems pecks, i lick necks and i write bad checks, and now I'm trippin from the chemical effects, I had sex with your dads rolex, i drank a gallon of straight windex, im insane so I can't see straight, some people try but they can never relate, i think i've lost bit of memory today, like everyday,

no jelly today, no jelly today, no jelly today,

shit, here I am, I'm gonna say a couple ryhmes cause I can, I'm gonna reach inside your pants with my hand, big tuffy can’t fade this jam, it takes grease if you want the shit fried, and so 47 million people die, a fat lady with a Mohawk cries, I stuck a knife into my 13th eye,

someone told me that I need believe me,

this isn’t something you can fade……

you came by, with that jelly and a real good thigh, i put hennessy into your glass, you got drunk and then I smoked your hash, you left pantyhose in my shoe, I left bacon in your crab Rangoon,
my shit stinks but you know I don’t stop so are you ready for the fuckin’ bass drop,
at this rate, I don’t think I can concentrate, theres new infections that I should demonstrate, a quick brain fuck a little too late, to get a dick suck im in the right place, to get busy on Kenny g’s face, to get toine on the mic to say, I cook bacon and I get laid, like everyday,

neckhole

Written By: John Bersuch

meditate with a dead man, spend days on the roof with a bed pan,
generate this haze of a life span, find ways to achieve what the rest can't,
it's all new, i'm turnin this inside out, tearing this down, makin kids frown,
it's a ghost town, on the coast of brown, i'm a bad example of a face to crown,
everybodys get none, thats how the rule goes when you grow young,
when you lose body parts don't blame me, i do my own thing and i still lose teeth,
i'm a clean cut piece of hot fuck, my eyebrows like a brush bring you good luck,
i can't hear watch ya sayin, can't see your mouth, gotta neck with a hole drips like a spout,

what the neck say? it say there ain't no mouth. can we get a little mouth? no! it's just a neck hole, and there ain't no mouth.
what the neck say? it say there ain't no mouth! can we get a little mouth? no, it's just a neckhole, and there ain't no mouth!!

you'd better get ready to sink ships and double dip, bling tut bringin the soft tip go limp quick,
do you need a reason to stay in and bump skin, skip dinner huffin the whale fins and scroat skins?
never sicker than this shit we leave you with, g-string crackin the camel tip that just split,
thunderclap shakin your back fat and makin dead dogs and cats fat from this rhyme attack!

try to stop me and i can't be stopped, pop 7 cherries with the rhymes that i dropped,
it's not easy to twist off the tongue, criss cross the lung at this cost i'm done,
exist off the rung and out, a dead mans never gonna fuck a pig snout, a dead mans never gonna give a pig head,
a dead man never gonna chew off his leg.

what the pig say? don't fuck my snout! can i get a little snout? no, thats my snout, don't fuck my snout!!
what the neck say? it say there ain't no mouth! can i get a little mouth? no, it's just a neckhole, and there ain't no mouth!!

break...

what the neck say? it say there ain't no mouth! can i get a little mouth? no, it's just a neckhole, and there ain't no mouth!!
what the neck say? it say there ain't no mouth! can i get a little mouth? no, it's just a neckhole, and there ain't no mouth!!

soft bacon

Written By: John Bersuch

I'll take my pants off, we'll do a dance off,
I'll get your car all moldy and I'll clog up your exhaust,
You don't impress me as much as Elvis Presley,
You try to squeeze the beats but the shit gets kinda messy,
and thats why I can fill a funk tank fulla cheese whiz main,
I'm exploding at the seems with some shit you've never seen,
I'm the bacon king, and I'll be fuckin' till I cream,
it's like a dream, my forehead is swollen like bean,
kenny g can't even touch what I be doin',
he can try to play his flute until I shove it up his shoot,
Its a wack beat, come and take it in your back seat,
can you compete? not if I come amputate your feet,

can't relate

goddamn, your nipples look like little chunks of ham,
and I'm the bacon man, I don't give a portion if I can,
you can call my phone, I'm prolly naked and alone,
in the danger zone, thats when I fuck a parking cone,
I'm the shit cause I smell like shit,
You can come and get a piece if you think I'd fit,
I can smoke a fat joint and do rhyme about cheese,
I don't need to breathe, my lungs are made of sea weed,
I'm a weird dude, with a pretty strange attitude,
I like to eat shrooms and have sex with racoons,
cause I'm candy capped, and you can call me what you want,
I'm on the candy hunt, I'll put some candy in your cunt,
and do the humpty hump, but humpty took a fuckin' dump,
so get the sump pump and clean the motherfucker up,

can't relate

Discography

1st album (Bacon Shoe - ASS), 2nd album (Bacon Shoe - Back From Stinktion)

Set List

1. intro 2. neckhole 3. cornking 4. 5. cut off the head 6. taint soldier 7. 8. no jelly 9. the gleam of the gland 10. intestine 11. 12. runnin around 13. a good taste

usually our sets are between 30 and 40 minutes long, but they can really be any length you would want. yep.