Blazin' Saddles

Blazin' Saddles

BandCountryRock

The Blazin Saddles of Rattlecrack, AK, bring together the greatest lineup of county and rock songs that are sure to wobble your griddles all the way to your spurs.

Biography

In the early years of the 21st century, man's quest for perfection subtly reached a fork in the road of history. Without parades or media hoopla, an answer was given to a question that has meandered across the sands of time, through the airwaves of this fine country and beyond into the great mysteries of space. One band, an unlikely ragtag posse of hillbilly bandits, has become the savior of music, and by extension, the redeemer of blue jean America. So unplug your fancy gadgets and leave your $5 bottle of water on your goddarned tea hutch. It's time to grow a pair and Saddle up!

From the beefy bass lines dropped by the Waco Kid to the sweet guitar nectar oozing from Hoss and Guapo, from the delicious beats spawned by The Reverend to the snarling vocals of The Sherriff, you'll bend an elbow with the greatest band in boots. Whether you are a nancy from the city or a fellow buckaroo in britches, come suckle at the collective teat of the Blazin' Saddles because it's high time for a hootenanny!

The Sheriff -
On a moonless night deep in the swamps of Arkansas, all that could be heard above the low din of the crickets was the throaty growl of a '79 Trans Am. As Buford P. Bucknut raced home to his trailer in the
unincorporated town of Rattlecrack, he pushed his V8 engine to the limit, barely outpacing the approaching storm. In an instant, a rogue flash of lightning cut through the darkness and struck the car between
the T-tops. A visibly shaken man slowly emerged from the smoldering wreckage, but it was not Buford P. Bucknut. No, another stood on the steaming pavement. With a Southern scowl on his face, lightning had transformed this bandit on the run into a man with a mission. You know this man as simply "The Sheriff."

The Rev. Billy Ray Righteous -
Raised by his half cousin-uncle in Puckerbush, Alabama, The Reverend holds the distinction of being the first member of the Saddles who has murdered a man using a drumstick, although he almost certainly will not be the last. Fortunately he's never been caught for his crimes due to his unequaled slippery skills and relatively low profile stemming from an incestuous birth defect, eventually rendering him a virtual mute. Since his early trouble with the law, Reverend has kept his life in apple pie order by communicating primarily through a 3/4 time signature on his homemade drum kit. However, despite an inability to form discernable words, The Reverend is the backbone of The Blazin' Saddles and most consider him the greatest percussionist in the history of human civilization.

Hoss Of Payne -
Some say Hoss was born with a guitar in his hands. They're right - literally - owing to an unusual automobile collision his mother had with a musical instrument delivery truck during her pregnancy. Fortunately for Hoss, the guitar did not block his mother's birth canal and ironically, the incident served as a prenatal preview of his future guitar god status. At the age of nine his shredding captured the attention of rockers domestic and abroad. Many well known classic rock albums are clear rip-offs of his early solo project entitled The Stairway to the Dark Side of Quadrophenia.

The Waco Kid -
Every Southern band worth its salt needs a cowboy to anchor their tunes to the floor with a rich bass line. As luck would have it, The Saddles found such a man in The Waco Kid, a Southern gent from Fustercluck, Arkansas. Always out to make a quick buck, the Kid had founded his own private detective agency that bore the ironic name "Hide & Seek," just one of many half-cooked ventures the zealous entrepreneur established. Truth be told, it was the Kid who found the Saddles during the course of his investigation into several cattle rustling incidents in the late '90s. After the Kid caught the Saddles red handed, the boys offered em' a job in the band instead of facing hard jail time. Thankfully, The Waco Kid relented. Among other endeavors, the Kid has been employed as a zoologist, kindergarten teacher, beekeeper, envelope stuffer and model train enthusiast. You can add "kick ass bassist" to the resume.

El Guapo -
A current resident of Beavershave, Louisiana, El Guapo is the token pretty boy guitarist in the Blazin' Saddles. Legally married to a vanity mirror in his bathroom, Guapo spends most of his time wooing his own reflection while he strums his guitar softly. The inactivity often renders Guapo restless as a hen on a hot griddle and spurs him to head into town to wet his whistle with a few pints of wobbly pop. El Guapo can get awfully roostered up when he means to.

Discography

That Ain't Cheatin!
A Woman's Guide to Self Examination.
Why Are You Kissing My Half-Sister?
The Stairway to the Dark Side of Quadrophenia.

Set List

Rodeo Song
I Fought the Law
Sweet Child of Mine
Jungle Love
Honky Tonk Woman
Nine to Five
Eastbound and Down
The Gambler
You Never Even Call Me
Purple Rain
Rocky Top
King of the Hill
Hold on Loosely
Walk this Way
Wanted Dead or Alive
Keep Your Hande to Yourself
Crazy Little Thing Called Love
That's Alright Mama
Jack n' Diane
Pour Some Sugar on Me
Cold Hard Bitch
Save a Horse
Black Betty
Fat Bottom Girls
Gin n' Juice
Sweet Home Alabama