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The best kept secret in music


"Bloarzeyd - Delirious Insane Ventilator of Bloarzeyd"

Honestly, what the hell is a “Bloarzeyd” and how does anyone even come up with a name like that? According to the band on their website it means absolutely nothing. At least that’s what they want us to believe, judging by the excessive use of exclamation marks. It might be a word randomly thought up or another word that was horribly mispronounced in an alcohol binge that ended up sticking, regardless of what it is…it’s an appropriate moniker for the two men that make up the band, Phil (bass/vocals) and Mike (drums).

As their name might suggest, these guys could care less about any sort of traditional song structure. They are simply about making sludgy slabs of noisy deliciousness. Do they succeed? Oh you bet your ass they do. Bloarzeyd are keeping the gut rattling low end sound of such greats like Karp and Milkmine alive and well on their debut album Delirious Insane Ventilator of Bloarzeyd currently out on Wooden Man Records. There is always a place in my heart for music that thrives on such primal craziness such as this. On their debut Bloarzeyd displays their penchant for creating completely balls out tunes. For the most part they let their instruments do the talking, or screaming…whichever way you want to look at it. However, at times it is helped along the way by the screeching and shouting from Phil (there are no last names to be found) pretty much adding to the cacophony taking place here. While this may not be anything that hasn’t already been done in some form or another before, anyone who is willing to keep disgustingly bottom heavy noise-rock like this going is absolutely appreciated.

If you like the tunes posted above, then head on over to Wooden Man Records and pick up Delirious Insane Ventilator of Bloarzeyd. It’s well worth it. -

"Bloarzeyd - Delirious Insane Ventilator of Bloarzeyd"

Rating: 7.2/10

Not knowing what to expect, delirious insane ventilator of bloarzeyd arrived at my door with a bouquet filled more with questions than answers: How do I pronounce the band's name? Is the dead cow with the bow part of the narrative of the disc? Is this going to sound like The White Stripes?

Quickly, most of those questions were answered. While I still do not know how to say the band's name, I can see how a dead cow would make sense and these guys sound nothing like The White Stripes. The band, made up of a Phil on bass and vocals and a Mike on drums, produces a monstrous sound on their debut. Throughout the album, the bass is heavy, like a jackhammer pounding on the ears and the drumming of Mike, while similarly weighty, can also be thin and colorful. This is especially evident on "#include ," a jazz-infused cut that acts like a drum solo. Another track that takes the band in a different direction is "lost guy," in which Phil's usually incomprehensible vocals take a dream-like turn as Mike plays more thin drums in the background.

Clocking in at a little over a half hour, delirious insane ventilator is almost constantly laying an assault on the senses. But for all their bombast, the duo do retain a sense of humor about themselves; Phil and Mike can be heard laughing on "accidental stain" and the humorous song titles - "welcome to the linuxworld you stupid geek!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1," "a tragic anvil related accident occurs during flim flam's trip to wiz waz island," and "survey says: you look ridiculous in those youth-size tee shirts" just to name - are more fitting than fashionable, as there is definitely something different about this band. If you're tired of wearing the same old sound and are open to something new, try Bloarzeyd on for size. They just might fit. -

"Bloarzeyd - Delirious Insane Ventilator of Bloarzeyd"

Bloarzeyd is the heaviest band that ever reminded me of Dr. Suess. The Doctor once wrote "Always do what you want, and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” In short, they are a band following nothing but the random animalistic urges of their libido, and desire for hard liquor.

They also use more exclamation marks than any other band I’ve ever heard. In writing any communiqué, no sentence can end with anything less than a dozen exclamation marks and it really fits. I imagine them screaming and shrieking every syllable of every word, even screaming the ideas inside their own pointy heads.

This fits right in with the music. Mike and Phil are two loud obnoxious bastards writing very exclamatory music. Their brand of absurdist sludge-tech exits their brain directly into their instruments, with the band exhibiting no façade.

The comparisons to Godheadsilo and Unsane are equally valid, but Bloarzeyd never gets that intellectually expressing your inner angst sashaying urge of no wave. But that’d be a low limbo bar to slip under even if you were already in a noise rock band and drunk in Brooklyn in the late eighties. It’s been a decade and while the street drugs are more expensive bad booze is cheaper. Let me say it now: Very angry drunk men can do very great things if given guitars.

But it was Abraham Lincoln who said it best: "If we take habitual drunkards as a class, their heads and their hearts will bear an advantageous comparison with those of any other class. There seems ever to have been a proneness in the brilliant and warm-blooded to fall into this vice. The demon of intemperance ever seems to have delighted in sucking the blood of genius and generosity." In other words, they’re a bunch of drunks.


"Bloarzeyd - Delirious Insane Ventilator of Bloarzeyd"

Everyone take a knee and give thanks, as the good noise has popped its wonderful head out of the ground. Quite the broad concept, the good noise possesses interchangeable heads from Big Business and Karp to Plot to Blow Up The Eiffel Tower and Lightning Bolt. Each has its own personal take and flavor of the good noise, but they all share one thing in common. They send the indie pop kids running in fear and disgust dropping their CD collection along the way. It’s a truly wonderful site seeing masses of Bright Eyes and Sufjan Stevens records being scattered to the four winds.

On this here occasion, the good noise is wearing the head of New Haven, CT’s Bloarzeyd. On their debut LP Delirious Insane Ventilator of Bloarzeyd, the band has produced a wonderfully angular and sludgy mass of rumbling Melvins-esque rawk. With bassist Phil (no last names given) also providing the shrieks and hollers, the vocals mesh with the music delightfully. Closely resembling those of Kevin Whitley, formerly of Ed Hall and Cherubs, they are the ingredient that turns this disc from a good disc into a great one. -


bloarzeyd - delirious insane ventilator of bloarzeyd


Feeling a bit camera shy


q: iz we not mans???
a: we iz bloarzeyd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!