BS101

BS101

BandComedyAlternative

Straight out of Oak Ridges Ontario hitting directly into your colon. BS101 combines comedy with outstanding musicianship to provide an overwhelmingly diverse show. It's non-stop energy with wacky costumes and antics from start to finish. For more videos and music visit www.myspace.com/bs101.

Biography

We are proud to announce the well anticipated release of a double album by "Bad Song Writing One Hundred and One"--- consisting of 99 tracks and 74 minutes of audio.
This colossal monstrosity of an album is divided into two distinct sections.....
Side A: Bee Ass Won oh Juan - 100% Brand new studio tracks!!!
Side B: Live in Budokon Japan - 2007 live and sold out performance at the world renowned Budokon hall.

Since its humble beginnings, BS101 has developed their music career independently. This sophomore double album is proof that BS101 is without a doubt the worlds best kept secret!
Take a listen!!! Enjoy it... Or ...hate it… Either way, you are guaranteed a reaction of some kind or your money back.
If this music touches you in any way, feel free to contact BS101 and let us know how you feel. We love feedback. We want you to enjoy this product as much as we did creating it.

For more information on BS101 visit the following links:
www.myspace.com/bs101 www.pezmosis.com/bs101

You can also type in BS101 on www.youtube.com for produced videos and live video footage. Fully produced videos are available for the following songs: Kay Dee, Stalker Song, Nintendo Power, Cougar Mania, and Do The Chicken Dance. Simply search for those titles on the site.

Thank you for your time and consideration. We love you even though we’ve never met.

Lyrics

DROPKICK TO THE FACE

Written By: BS101

You’re in my town, you’re going down.
I’m like an animal; I let it go, let it go.
When I’m fighting, punch like lightning.
Go kick some ass, crack some skulls.

Right after school, we fight at the monkey bars.
Right after school, we fight at the monkey bars.

Dropkick to the face, you ain’t getting up.
I busted you up like a mac fucking truck.
Dropkick to the face, you ain’t getting up.
I busted you up, cause you fucking suck.

When you’re snoozing, you’ll be losing.
Get the hell up, hit the road, hit the road.
Stop that whining, forget about crying.
Just be a man and get on with the show.

Right after school, we fight at the monkey bars. (X4)

Dropkick to the face, you ain’t getting up.
I busted you up like a mac fucking truck.
Dropkick to the face, you ain’t getting up.
I busted you up, cause you fucking suck.

I busted you up, Cause you fucking suck.
I busted you up, Cause you fucking suck.

Dropkick to the face, you ain’t getting up.
I busted you up like a mac fucking truck.
Dropkick to the face, you ain’t getting up.
I busted you up, cause you fucking suck.

1994

Written By: BS101

1994 Nintendo’s year of the Cartridge.
Forrest Gump director Robert Zemeckis.
O.J. Simpson, white Ford Bronco
The year of the strike for Major League Baseball.
Lorraina Bobbitt, Tonya Harding, Ace of Base.
I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes.
I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes.

1994. I said 1994. Not talking 1993. Just singing 1994.

The body of Kurt Cobain, lead singer of Nirvana, is found. Cobain's death, which happened three days before, is legally declared a suicide.
1994. I said 1994. Not talking 1982. Just singing 1994.
1994. I said 1994. Not talking 1976. Just singing 1994.

KAY DEE

Written By: BS101

Live in a basement, cause I just lost my job.
Used to be a porn star, now I’m a big fat slob.
Used to eat steak, with a pound of caviar.
Now I eat Krapt Dinner before the peeler bar.

Just get me a pot, some water, and put it on the oven.
Add macaroni and it’s krapt dinner lovin’.
Then get me butter, some milk, and put it in a bowl.
Stir that shit up, and it’s out of control.

Kay Dee for dinner. Kay Dee for lunch.
Kay Dee for breakfast. Kay Dee for Brunch.
I eat Kraft Dinner every single frikken hour.
I don’t mind eating that crap, cause it gives me special powers.

Lived with my parents for most of my life.
Then I went to College, where my hand was my wife.
When I was hungry, I knew just where to go.
White Cheddar powdered Kay Dee in the cupboard Mofo.

Just get me a pot, some water, and put it on the oven.
Add macaroni and it’s krapt dinner lovin’.
Then get me butter, some milk, and put it in a bowl.
Stir that shit up, and it’s out of control.

Kay Dee for dinner. Kay Dee for lunch.
Kay Dee for breakfast. Kay Dee for Brunch.
I eat Krapt Dinner every single frikken hour.
I don’t mind eating that crap, cause it gives me special powers.

ENRIQUE EGLASIAS

Written By: BS101

Enrique Iglesias, Enrique Iglesias.
Son of Julio Iglesias
Iglesias Enrique, Iglesias Enrique.
Son of Iglesias Julio.

At the dawn of the new millennium,
He’s the greatest Latin lover in the world.
Born August 5th, in 1975, his real name is
Enrique Miguel Iglesias Preysler
16 #1 singles, sold out tours across the globe.
32 Countries, 23 million albums sold.
On September 3rd, 2003. He won The Latin Grammy For "Best Male Pop Vocal Album"

He’s always got those hot broads naked in his videos.
See his face everywhere, even in my cheerios.
seven gold and multi-platnum albums.
6 foot 3 and drop dead handsome.
Jennifer Love Hewitt, Anna Kornakova,
doing them doggie in his land rover.
Ricky Martins done, there’s a new Latin Lover
Bailamos! - We Dance Let the rhythm take you over...

I can be your hero, baby.
I can kiss away the pain.
I will stand by you forever.
You can take my breath away.

Enrique Iglesias, Enrique

TUG ON MY BONE

Written By: BS101

Quarter to 8 in the morning.
My wooden tent is pitched,
ready for hand to gland combat.
Using both of my fists.
Mom’s down in the kitchen, frying up some eggs.
Dad is in the shower, soaping up his legs.
Finally alone now, it’s been so effin long.
All I wanna do is, tug on my zamboni shlong.
Then I hear the creeking of my bedroom door.
I was caught white handed, used tissues on the floor.

Just leave me the fuck alone, Tug on my bone, tug on my bone.
Don’t wanna answer the phone, tug on my bone, tug on my bone.

Spanky hanky panky. Tug on my bone.
Spanky hanky panky. Rusty trombone.
Spanky hanky panky. Leave me alone.
Tug on my bone, tug on my bone.

So now I’m stuck at school, 4th period English class.
Daydreaming of Brittney Skye, I think I need a hall pass
To go up to the boys room, lucky stall number 1,
Tenderize my tube steak, empty out my gun.
Heard some guys a laughing, laughing outside the door.
Try to pull my pants up, but they’re held down to the floor
the stall door got kicked open, Those fuckers snapped my pic,
now I’m in the yearbook beating the snotty end of my stick.

Just leave me the fuck alone,
Tug on my bone, tug on my bone.
Don’t wanna answer the phone,
tug on my bone, tug on my bone.

Spanky hanky panky. Tug on my bone.
Spanky hanky panky. Rusty trombone.
Spanky hanky panky. Leave me alone.
Tug on my bone, tug on my bone.

Love to tug my bone. Yah.

905 VS. 416

Written By: BS101

They call me a nine to fiver.
I sit at home watching macgiver.
20 minutes from Toronto.
Drive me to Oak Ridges Pronto.

From the 905 we go classy
To the 416 where it’s nasty.
416ers don’t give a shit.
They dress like punks, act like pricks.

416 won’t step out of their town.
Their too damn good, too damn proud.
905er’s keep streets alive
Sexy chicks dressed to the nines.
416ers live on your own.
No more parents, ain’t home grown.
905, living with the rents.
My rent, don’t cost a cent.

From the 905 we go classy
To the 416 where it’s nasty.
416ers don’t give a shit.
They dress like punks, act like pricks.

From the 905 we go classy
To the 416 where it’s nasty.
416ers don’t give a shit.
They dress like punks, act like pricks.

POLENTA

Written By: BS101

Polenta Polentina pearperchere.
Dame to uno vino beachere
Pocha Panino Pocha Panina.
Pane con laite, dentro beachere.
A tiereiat de morieate,
me ga friga
A tiereiat de morieate,
me ga friga
Trompa uno volta, preima marieda.
Trompa uno volta, preima marieda.

PORN INDUSTRY

Written By: BS101

Filating Roger Rabbit, Anal in the outfield.
The never ending orgy. Puff the magic drag queen.
Chitty chitty gang bang. That little merslut.
Chitty chitty gang bang. That little merslut.

Baby, welcome to the porn industry. The Porn Industry.
We’re making billions off your cocks.
By turning pretty girls, into whores.
We are the porn industry.
The world is flooded with porn.

Booty and the breast, sweet cherry poppins.
Bi-curious George. My big fat greek penis.
Edward penis hands, my little womb raider.
Edward penis hands, my little womb raider.
Filating Roger Rabbit, Anal in the outfield.
The never ending orgy. Puff the magic drag queen.
Chitty chitty gang bang. That little merslut.
Chitty chitty gang bang. That little merslut.

Baby, welcome to the porn industry. The Porn Industry.
We’re making billions off your cocks.
By turning pretty girls, into whores.
We are the porn industry.
The world is flooded with porn.

STALKER SONG

Written By: BS101

Baby, I love you. But tell me, do you even know my name.
I’ve google searched your life. I know your favorite potato chips. They’re Ketchup, and I’m cool with that.

I followed you to work, I followed you back home,
now I’m sitting in a tree with my binoculars.
I followed you to the gym, then to your boyfriends home, now I’m sitting in a bush with my binoculars.

You, you and me, we should fornicate, procreate,
Sex all night to make babies.
You, you and me, we should fornicate, procreate,
Sex all night to make babies.

Sugar Muffin, it’s me again. I miss hearing your voice, why’d you change your phone number. Again, for the 3rd time. Would you stop doing that. It’s getting harder to stock you ever since you sprayed mace in my eyes.

I followed you to work, I followed you back home, now I’m sitting in a tree with my binoculars.
I followed you to the gym, then to your boyfriends home, now I’m sitting in a bush with my binoculars.

You, you and me, we should fornicate, procreate,
Sex all night to make babies.
You, you and me, we should fornicate, procreate,
Sex all night to make babies.

WHITE TRASH REDNECK

Written By: BS101

I was born in a pick-up truck,
same place my ma and pa fucked.
Pa sits alone on the front porch,
eating his beans eating his pork.
Met my girl in the zellers diner,
snaggle toothed couldn’t be any finer.
Took her out on a Friday night,
to the peelers club, strippers club.

I’m a white trash redneck. Just giver eh.
Nail er shut. Woo doggy!
I’m a white trash redneck. Just getter done, drink da beers, have some fun cow tippin all night long.

Eat my beans straight from the can,
Billy Ray Sirus is the man.
Have a mullet, his name is Stan.
Deedle dee dee, doodle doo doo.
Drive a truck all day and night,
my overalls are mighty tight,
cowboy boots they give me hight.
Scoodley bop, diggly doo.
Siphon gas, gives me gas.

I’m a white trash redneck. Just giver eh.
Nail er shut. Woo doggy!
I’m a white trash redneck. Just getter done, drink da beers, have some fun cow tippin all night long.

Yee ha, stick it in your grandma.
Wah hoo and grandpa too.
Yee ha, stick it in your grandma.
Wah hoo and grandpa too.
Incest is the best, put your family to the test.

I’m a white trash redneck.
Just giver eh. Nail er shut. Who doggy
I’m a white trash redneck.
Just getter done, drink da beers, have some fun.
I’m a white trash redneck.
Just giver eh. Nail er shut. Who doggy
I’m a white trash redneck. Just getter done, drink da beers, have some fun cow tippin all night long. Yah.
Here’s a spoon so you can all eat out my ass. Yah.

VANESSA

Written By: BS101

I once fell in love with a girl from drama class.
She had really big breasts, and a tiny little ass.
See was brunet, I knew her really well.
I told her a loved her, after second period lunch.

Her name was Vanessa. She was really hot to me.
Other guys really liked her, his name was Mikey.
So the day that I asked her out, she said no.
Cause she liked this other guy,
his name is Mikey he can die.

Vanessa in my, Vanessa in my class, my drama class.
I liked her, so much. Liked her, so much.

The next day I proposed to her.
Even though she was going out with Mikey,
I proposed to her. I told her I loved her.
I got down on one knee.
It was in front of the entire lemonade classroom.

Hahaha. And you know what she said.
She said no, no no no. You’re a loser, no, no, no.
Mikey can you beat him up for me?
So Mikey came over to me.
Mikey punch right in the face. And he pushed me to the ground. And he kick me a couple of times.
Then he punched me, kicked me, punched me, kicked me, now my ear really hurts cause he punched me in the ear.

Fuck Mikey man. Fuck him.

Vanessa. Even though I got beat up, I still love you.
You know why, because I’m stupid.
But the love I have for you is real. Oh Vanessa.
Vanessa. You have vanerial disease. It’s the rumor I spread. Because you wouldn’t go out with me.
Now my friends think you have vanerial disease.
But I know you don’t, and that’s why I like you.
Because you’re sexy.

VAGINAL STIMULATION

Written By: BS101

Captain Spermaside Captain Spermaside, yah.
Giant balls are full of giz so powerful.
a hero in the skies, Captain Spermaside.
Captain Spermaside!

Ginal Ginal Vaginal Stimulation it’s a ship that he flies. It’s a cock in the sky.
Ginal Ginal Vaginal Stimulation warping through the Universe. Right into the Uterus.

Busting through Meteors, at supersonic speed.
Washing the smallest, areas keeping the vagina clean.
It’s shaped for penetration at just the right angle.
Testicle balls on fire man as I blast into the black hole.

Captain Spermaside save the planet from Clamidia.
On his quest he flies to earth. Saves the day.
a hero in the skies Captain Spermaside
Captain Spermaside!

Ginal Ginal Vaginal Stimulation it’s a ship that he flies. It’s a cock in the sky.
Ginal Ginal Vaginal Stimulation warping through the Universe. Right into the Uterus.

Busting through Meteors, at supersonic speed.
Washing the smallest, areas keeping the vagina clean.
It’s shaped for penetration at just the right angle.
Testicle balls on fire man as I blast into the black hole.

Captain this is Houston we’ve got the bitch in sight.
She’ll be going down, but not without a fight.
We need your special juices, cum spray all your giz.
Your spermasidal fluid will take care of her biz.

Roger, this is Spermaside, I’m all locked and loaded.
Testical balls are full and about to be exploded.
The people will be saved, as I spray these magic seeds.
Here to save the planet, I gots what they needs.

Ginal Ginal Vaginal Stimulation it’s a ship that he flies. It’s a cock in the sky.
Ginal Ginal Vaginal Stimulation warping through the Universe. Right into the Uterus.
Ginal Ginal Vaginal Stimulation it’s a ship that he flies. It’s a cock in the sky.
Ginal Ginal Vaginal Stimulation warping through the Universe. Right into the Uterus.

Vaginal Stimulation, Hey! Hey!
Vaginal Stimulation, Hey! Hey!

I’m Captain Spermaside. Always be sure to double up planet earth. Until we meet again.

Discography

Full Length Albums:
- Bee Ass Won Oh Juan
- Satan Has Us By The Left Testicle (And We Like It)
- Live In Budokon Japan

Compilation Albums:
- Like Nobodies Business Vol. 1 + 2

Singles Include:
Tig Bitties, Enrique Eglasias, Nintendo Power, The Big Time, Kay Dee, and Cougar Mania.

Set List

BS101 is a headlining band that can perform anywhere between 30 minutes to 2 hours. A typical set would consist of about 12 songs with covers such as television themes like Fresh Prince of Belair, or Saved By The Bell.