Calcu-Lator & The Oral Presentation

Ennis, Conor and Dejan all met while auditioning for The Raptors Dance Pack in its inaugural season. Aggressively snubbed by the sexist mechanism that is professional cheerlead-dancing, they turned their mutual (platonic) love of dance into a rhythmic movement collective known as “The Ballerinos”. They toured all over southern Turkey spreading their creamy smooth brand of Man-Dancing across the hot toast of the nation.

In 1999, Conor dropped out of “Da Rinos” to focus on his side hustle, pie-eating contests, effectively dissolving the posse. In April 2000, as a prize for defending his title as Clinton, Ontario’s “Public Glutton #1”, Conor won, among other things, a week’s worth of guitar lessons. Conor reached out to his former dance mates and split the prize with his half-brother Dejan, with each of them receiving 3 days of lessons (they donated the 7th day to charity).

The pieces were in place for a transformation from a purely dance-based troupe into an entertainment uber-group. Unfortunately, Dejan and Conor had the singing voices of dying vultures. Luckily, as their week of guitar lessons came to a close, Ennis, who had been in New Zealand looking for the illustrious “37waist/28inseam” jeans he so dearly needed, got hit by a meteor, rendering him completely blind but with the uncanny ability to make noises with his mouth. A lot of noises. At once. After reading his way back to 20/20 vision, Ennis took Conor and Dejan gently but firmly by the hand into a metamorphosis, and a three-headed butterfly emerged. That butterfly’s name: Calcu-Lator & The Oral Presentation. And they’re here to rock your ass off of you.