Chris Killian

Chris Killian

 Nashville, Tennessee, USA

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Written By: Chris Killian

Lying in the dark
Lying down on the bed
A rubber ball in my mouth
A plastic bag over my head

Mmmm... Anticipation
She's leaving me waiting
I'm wearing a saddle
She's holding a paddle

Has the candle melted enough wax? ( I don't know, I'm tied up)
Baby, why don't you check
Whisper the safe word in to my ear (Zimbabwe!)
Tighten the leather belt around my neck


Mmmm... Asphyxiation
Quite the sensation
David Carradine
God rest his soul, but he understands what I mean

Mmm... Where did she go?
I can't see anything because of this blindfold
Mmm... I'm starting to suspect
She took my cash off the dresser, and then she left

I'm feeling such sorrow
I really hope housekeeping finds me tomorrow

Me & My Playstation

Written By: Chris Killian

You never tell me that I am too clingy
You never want to talk about long-term plans
You're the only one who has ever made me feel
like I'm really good with my hands

You don't care if I'm getting fat
You don't complain about how much I drink
Since you don't have a nose,
I know you don't mind that I haven't showered this week

My family thinks I'm a loser and you are to blame
Don't worry, they're just stupid, I know you are more than a game

Me and my Playstation
You're the best thing I've got in my life
Me and my Playstation
If it was legal, I'd make you my wife

You're the first place I go when I step through the door
Spending time with you is never a chore
You're the only one that really adore
At least until they come out with Playstation 4

You don't tell me I need to get a job
You don't ask me why I didn't call
You know I don't have time for that crap
When I'm playing Madden football

You never ask me to take out the trash
Or tell me I have clothes to fold
And when I need to talk, I go online
And trash talk a twelve year old

And when my ex-girlfriend got jealous and asked, "What does that machine have that I don't?"
I laughed and said "Blue-Ray" and thats when she threw out my clothes

Me and my Playstation
It's you I can't do without

Me and my Playstation
Together forever, unless my power goes out

I've loved you all, numbers 1, 2, and 3
What would I do if you ever leave?
I'd probably cry, and feel so lonely
Until I got to the store to buy a Nintendo Wii

Just kidding, Playstation
You never get mad when I tease
Me and my Playstation
You're the reason why I don't use my college degree