Christ With A K

Christ With A K

BandComedyAlternative

I am attempting to meldge(I made that word up it means fuse/join) together good music with good comedy. True some of my songs may be shocking and some may be sad but rest assured they'll always either bring a smile to your face or a tear to your eye

Biography

Well it started off about 4 years ago on a drive over to a friends house, I was humming a tune and then I added some words to it. I got to his house and said "Hi I got this idea for a song" Shorty thereafter which we had that and a few more songs done, most of the time it was me pretty much writing the music and the songs and then he'd add little filler bits with either his guitar, piano or uke. We played our first gig at an open mic night in Cork. We were not sure how the crowd would react as the song was we were going to play was about me having sex with my sister(a joke obviously) however they reacted brilliantly and lapped the whole thing up there must have been about a hundred people there, not bad for our first time, they even wanted an encore so we played a further three songs. We didn't actually have a name thought out before we went on stage, I suggested the Christ Punchers as we had been watching an episode of the simpsons where Homer starts a motorcycle gang and thats a name that is suggested for the gang as Flanders is unhappy with the current name. We deemed this a little plageuristic and went with The Khrist. Ya get it Christ with a K. I explained at that gig that we were called Christ With A K as in Khrist and that was all well and good. However when we supported a band a few weeks later everyone pronounced it Crist, much like that comical moment in that Tom Hank's film The Wonders, where everyone called them the O' Neders as they spelt there name Oneders. So anyway long story short, it became 'Christ With A K' and will remain thusly so. We began recording an album last year (2005) with out own money so we'd own the whole shabang, now rather than doing it half arsed we decided to do the whole thing properly. About halfways through recording Sam(who was the friends whose name I only just realised I forgot to impart) decided that he no longer wanted to be in a band that he had no ambitions for fame and would much rather just play guitar for fun and at home rather than in front of an audience on a stage. This kind of delayed things a little, but no matter, I soldiered on and finished recording it a few weeks ago, I currently await my fundage to build up so I can afford to get it mastered and have a thousand copies made and then post em' around to companies, people and stations. This year Sam actually joined me on a small tour, we supported Ten Past Seven on their album launch. It was fun and each gig was as good as the last, though I had no false impressions of him making a full return. No, its me on my tod and I've got dreams and aspirations that need fulfilling and there are crowds out there that have yet to be assaulted by my brand of merriment and humour.

Lyrics

Where's Larleen, Henry? Answer me pig...

Written By: David Duff

Hey My baby girl whose this I catch you trying to screw,
Did not you promise me that I'm the one you wanna do,
Whats up with the water works Why do you wanna cry,
Your the one that cheated on me with that other guy,
Don't you dare deny it cause I caught ye in my bed,
There was stains left on the black sheets from when you gave him head,

Oh your just a slut and a whore a pimped up princess,
I should have been weary and expected nothing less,
Your time with me is over now it has been and gone,
find someone else to fuck up cause,
I'm moving on.

Hi who is this new guy thats walking through your front door?
Do you still have the barring order or can I stalk once more?
I know that I dumped you but it really was your fault,
And to add insult to the injury into it you poor salt,
Don't you dare deny it I hid cameras in your room,
And I'm after using cat piss to replace all your perfume.

Oh your just a slut and a whore a pimped up princess,
I should have been weary and expected nothing less,
Your time with me is over now it has been and gone,
find someone else to fuck up cause,
I'm moving on.

Baby I'll leave you alone if you grant me a last request,
You've got to give me a blow job and its got to be your best,
Oh baby once again come on please let me ride you,
Baby once again come on let me come inside you,
Don't you dare deny me this actually wait I change my mind,
I no longer wish to penetrate you as my japs eye would go blind.

Oh your just a slut and a whore a pimped up princess,
I should have been weary and expected nothing less,
Your time with me is over now it has been and gone,
find someone else to fuck up cause,
I'm moving on.

Little Richard

Written By: David Duff

I got a tiny penis but I actually don't mind,
It means I can't cheat on my girlfriend,
Cause I can never find,
a microscope or telescope or magnifying glass,
that would help me look for it,
and let me put it in your ass,
Oh if this song gets big I'll have to remain anonymous
Otherwise everyone will know I'm hung,
like an inch of dental floss.

T I N Y Oh thats My L I T T L E guy

The day that I was born my parents were happy with a girl,
but when the doctors told em' I was a boy,
they went hysterical,
Needless to say they were not happy,
oh no not one single bit,
I father asked the doctor would he kindly remove it,
the doctor refused and my mother became sick,
And since that day my name is Little Richard,
A K A tiny dick,

T I N Y Oh Thats My L I T T L E guy,

I went through school and college and I got a great career,
but I never had a girlfriend,
so people thought I was queer,
Its not that my sexuality was ever in any doubt,
I just thought girls would laugh at me if I ever whipped it out,
So I saved up all my money and I got a consultation,
From a man who specialises in my type of situation,
He told me"son don't worry you soon will be hung like a whale
And you will be able to pleasure almost any female,

T I N Y Oh thats my L I T T L E guy,
Ohh....putting the coffee on top of the table the penis is small and he really ain't able Oh putting the coffee on top of the table the penis is small and he really ain't able Oh putting the coffee on top of the table the penis is small and he really ain't able Oh putting the coffee on top of the table the penis is small and he really ain't able Oh putting the coffee on top of the table the penis is small and he really ain't able

Discography

Just the one album ninteen tracks. Four songs can be heard online at www.myspace.com/thechristwithak and a few B-sides and first takes can be heard on www.christwithak.com theres also the odd song that was too shocking for the album there.

Set List

My set list is all my own songs, those that are on the album and some that aren't Its about an hour of original material and I may throw in the odd cover here and there depending on what ales me.