Chris Valenti
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Chris Valenti

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Band Comedy Singer/Songwriter

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“For a self-proclaimed premature ejaculator and emotional wreck, Chris Valenti is an accomplished artist. With that description forming his identity and a motto that states, “I have a heart on today!” Valenti is also a funny guy. His folk songs are smart, quirky and just plain weird, but they draw the crowd into his bizarro world. His material explores life’s absurdities and relationships gone wrong. A modern day Don Quixote, he’s always chasing impossible dreams. Whether he’s trying to hook up with a femme fatale or simply dealing with life’s frustrations, his focus on minutia and insightful observations are hilarious. This is an artist who clearly knows how to entertain with great lyrics, catchy songs and a twisted point of view.
For a funnyman, Valenti is an awfully intense musician. In fact, there’s nothing comical about his musical skills. He plays hard and sings well. His vocals are dramatic, emphasizing each emotion –– and there are many –– in each song. A singing storyteller, he brings you on a journey that feels like Disneyland’s Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride. Valenti effortlessly dodges the “novelty” marker by making his songs real and poignant. Like small vignettes set to music, they are as fascinating as they are compelling.
With veins popping out of his neck, Valenti performed like a man possessed –– or, more accurately, obsessed. His intensity was so powerful that the audience gladly yielded to his every whim. Indeed, by the end of his set –– they were as emotionally wrecked as he was.
Chris Valenti is a multi-talented artist who once dressed as a giant penis and performed his entire repertoire on Santa Monica Boulevard. He’s also an actor/producer who wrote and starred in a film called Sensitive Johnson, a little story about a premature ejaculator. As a musician Valenti is outstanding, but it’s his songwriting that shines the brightest. Clever and slightly crazed, his tunes are the perfect antidotes for these serious times.”
--Bernard Baur, Music Connection Magazine
- Music Connection Magazine


Chris, o Chris, Where were you, say, in 1986? This record, “Emotional Wreck”, could've saved me a lot of time & money back then. I think this maybe ranks with Joni Mitchell's "Blue" as one of the best breakup records I've ever heard, but Joni didn't find her sense of humor until years later. I also notice the sequencing is vaguely reminiscent of the 5 Stages of Grief. I'll be adding it to New Releases next week. I'd love to play "Don't Need You Anymore" for Xmas eve. I'd love to hear your ideas on how to market this. It's the kind of record that could become an underground classic years after you've moved on to other things, & then you might not see any money from it. I'd think you should send it as-is to Sirius & XM, maybe direct to Howard Stern, & then cleaned up or not to WFMU in New Jersey, to my pal Max Schmid at WBAI. They're free of censorship, and considering the subject matter, I can think of non-music magazines where you could advertise it for mail order. Hmmm. - Matthew Finch, Music Director KUNM-FM


Discography

Albums:
Emotional Wreck - 13 song album (2006)
(tracks extensive college radio and internet play: Don't Pass Out, Booty Call, Passive Aggressive, Boyfriend)
Genghis Cohen Live - 10 song live album (2004)
(Popular tracks: You're Turning 30, I Kissed a Lesbian)
Sensitive Johnson Soundtrack - 10 song album (2003)
(Popular Tracks: Starbucks, First Wife)

Films:
800 CDs (Documentary on Indy Music Promotion)
Sensitive Johnson (Feature Musical Romantic Comedy)

Chris, o Chris,
Where were you, say, in 1986? This record could've saved me a lot of time & money back then.
I think this maybe ranks with Joni Mitchell's "Blue" as one of the best breakup records I've ever heard, but Joni didn't find her sense of humor until years later. I also notice the sequencing is vaguely reminiscent of the 5 (or was it 8?) Stages of Grief by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross.

I'll be adding it to New Releases next week -- of course with 6 of the 12 songs not FCC-friendly your best shot for airplay is between 10pm & 5:59am. I'd love to play "Don't Need You Anymore" for Xmas eve, but I'm on in the afternoon. I will have a shot on the night of Dec 28th & I'll definitely play it then.

Do you work solo in performance or do you bring a band? That might determine where the best local Albuquerque venues might be.

I'd love to hear your ideas on how to market this. It's the kind of record that could become an underground classic years after you've moved on to other things, & then you might not see any money from it. I'd think you should send it as-is to Sirius & XM, maybe direct to Howard Stern, & then cleaned up or not to WFMU in New Jersey, to my pal Max Schmid at WBAI -- you know more about webcasters than I do, but they're free of censorship, and considering the subject matter, I can think of non-music magazines where you could advertise it for mail order. Hmmm.
===========================
Matthew Finch, Music Director
KUNM-FM
Albuquerque, NM

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Bio

If you've ever been frustrated by a relationship and you have a somewhat twisted, sometimes evil, but very healthy sense of humor, then Chris Valenti is the artist for you. Chris takes his romantic failures and frustrations personally and pours them out to you straight from his wry, twisted heart. Valenti's songs of struggles, blunders, and missed opportunities radiate the painfully funny universal suffering we all endure.

His show is part music, part comedy, part therapy, and part romance - as well as action, adventure, mystery and sometimes horror. A philosopher of love - usually, the kind of love that did not exactly make it to that 'happily ever after' place, Chris writes and performs songs that touch upon the common truths of the sometimes frustrating, but often ridiculously funny life of single people.

Songs like Passive Aggressive about the cute little problems that get blown out of proportion in every dysfunctional relationship and The Ghost of Your Ex about dates who can't stop talking about their ex-boyfriends strike close to home for those who can not seem to reel in the full attention of their present partner. Don't Pass Out is a plea and warning to men and women everywhere to curb excessive drinking, especially on first dates. The song It's Hard to Find Someone Good Enough For Me nails the single person's core issue head on - and was featured on The Dr. Phil Show. Everyone Can Be Replaced is a positive look at the end of relationships as well as the happiest break-up song ever written. Most shows end with Chris's new approach to women, Booty Call.

A gifted songwriter and wry comedian, Chris has the knack for using self-deprecation and vulnerability to write songs about the hazards and frustrations of love and attempted relationships. He's become a spokesperson for the unlucky in love.