C.K. Dexter Haven

C.K. Dexter Haven

BandAlternativePunk

Ever wonder what magic sounds like? You're welcome.

Biography

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away...

Orphaned twelve-year-old Mr. Smoothy (Disney, Guitars) lives a simple life in Kansas with his Aunt Em, Uncle Henry, and three farm hands, Hickory, Hunk and Zeke. One Day, the irascible townswoman, Miss Almira Gulch is bitten by Mr. Smoothy's dog, Showcase Showdown (Tom, Drums). Mr. Smoothy is upset that Miss Gulch hit Toto over the back of the head with a rake, but her aunt and uncle, as well as the farmhands, are too busy to listen. Miss Gulch shows up with a sheriff's order and takes Showcase away to be destroyed. Showcase escapes and returns to Smoothy, who is momentarily elated. When she realizes that Miss Gulch will soon return, she decides to take Showcase and run away. As Mr. Smoothy leaves, there begin to appear signs of an oncoming storm. She rushes back to the farm's house just ahead of a sudden tornado. There, she takes shelter inside the house, where she is knocked unconscious by a loose window frame.

Mr. Smoothy discovers that he is no longer in Kansas. A confused Mr. Smoothy seems to awaken a few minutes later to discover the house has been caught up in the twister. Moments later, the twister drops the house back onto solid ground. Opening the door and stepping into full three-strip Technicolor, Mr. Smoothy finds himself in a village and parkland of unearthly beauty. Supertiny (Sarah, Booking), the Good Witch of the North, arrives magically via bubble. She informs Mr. Smoothy that she is in Munchkinland and that she has killed the ruby-slippered Wicked Witch of the East by "dropping a house" on her.

Encouraged by Supertiny, the timid Munchkins come out of hiding to celebrate the demise of the witch, while singing "Ding-Dong! The Witch Is Dead" and proclaiming Mr. Smoothy as their national hero. The Wicked Witch of the West, makes a startling appearance claiming the powerful ruby slippers. Supertiny magically transfers the slippers from the dead witch onto Mr. Smoothy's feet and reminds the Witch of the West that her power is ineffectual in Munchkinland. The witch vows revenge on Mr. Smoothy before leaving the same way she arrived. Glinda advises Mr. Smoothy to seek the help of the mysterious Wizard of Oz (Emily, Band Manager) in the Emerald City in his quest to return home to Kansas. Supertiny explains that Mr. Smoothy can find Emerald City by following the yellow brick road. She also advises Mr. Smoothy that he must never remove the slippers or he will be at the mercy of the Wicked Witch of the West. On his way to the city, Mr. Smoothy meets a Scarecrow (Ace, Bass Guitar) with no brain, a Tin man (Josh, Guitar) with no heart and a Cowardly Lion (Van, Vocals). The three decide to accompany Mr. Smoothy to the Wizard in hopes of obtaining their desires. Along the way, they behave in various ways which demonstrate that they already have the qualities they think they lack: the Scarecrow (Ace) has several good ideas, the Tin Man (Josh) is kind and sympathetic and the Lion (Van) is ready to face danger even though he is terrified. The group reaches Emerald City, where they are greeted kindly. The group talks to the Wizard of Oz (Emily, again), a disembodied and imposing head with a booming voice, who says that he will consider granting their wishes if they can bring him the broomstick of the Wicked Witch. On their way to the witch's castle, they are attacked by a gang of flying monkeys who carry Mr. Smoothy and Showcase Showdown away and deliver him to the witch. The Witch demands that Mr. Smoothy hand over the ruby slippers. After the witch threatens to drown Showcase Showdown in the river, Mr. Smoothy agrees to give her the shoes, but a shower of sparks prevents their removal. The witch says that the shoes cannot be removed unless Mr. Smoothy dies. While the witch is distracted, Showcase takes the opportunity to escape. The witch then locks Mr. Smoothy in a chamber and leaves to consider how to kill Mr. Smoothy without damaging the shoes' magic. Showcase finds Mr. Smoothy's friends and leads them to the castle. Once inside, they free Mr. Smoothy and attempt an escape. The witch and her Winkie soldiers corner the group on a parapet, where the witch sets the Ace's arm on fire. To douse the flames, Mr. Smoothy throws water on them while accidentally splashing water on the horrified witch, causing her to melt. To the group's surprise, the soldiers are delighted. Their captain gives Mr. Smoothy the broomstick in gratitude as the heroes begin their journey back to the Emerald City. Upon their return to Emerald City, Showcase exposes the great and powerful wizard Emily as a fraud; they find an ordinary girl hiding behind a curtain operating a giant console which contains a group of buttons and levers. They are outraged at the deception, but the wizard solves their problems through common sense and a little double talk rather than magic. She explains that they already had what they had been searching for all along and only need things such as medals

Lyrics

FDA

Written By: CK DEXTER HAVEN

We are the future man
Like mechanical mannequins radiation drugs gonna keep you alive
We’re gonna make you live to a hundred and five cause
The longer you live the more money you give
To the enterprises that we build with drugs to fix the cancer we gave you

I’ve got pills that will fix
That predictable cough and terrible itch
That you got from eating all that fast food
Injected with
Hormones to make you sick
But they sure make production quick
What they really make us is a ton of money

We are the future man
Like mechanical mannequins radiation drugs gonna keep you alive
We’re gonna make you live to a hundred and five cause
The longer you live the more money you give
To the enterprises that we build with drugs to slow the cancer we gave you

I've got the vocation to give this medication
To your children before they can think
ADHD PCP thank God you came to me
I've got a pill for everything you know

I Can't Help That I'm Pretty

Written By: CK DEXTER HAVEN

Every where I go you look at me
Like maybe I’m deceased
And In my heart
The blood is running cold

But then what can I say

If Looks can kill then I'd call this a murder
A bullet to my head
I know you want me dead
If Looks can kill this is murder
A bullet to my head
I know you want me dead
If Looks can kill then this is murder

Keep your eyes to your self
They’re groping horribly
You know just what to do
To make me sick
You’re trying to find a way
To kill me slowly

If looks can kill then this is murder
A bullet to my head
If Looks can kill then this is murder
A bullet to my head
I know you want me dead
If Looks can kill this is murder

Yea I can see it in your eyes
What you’re shooting for
No it’s not normal for you to ogle
You’re sick you’re sick you’re sick

I can’t help it that you hate me
I can’t help it that I’m pretty

If looks can kill then this is murder
Like a bullet in my head this is murder

Elephant's Denial

Written By: CK DEXTER HAVEN

You gave away all your advice
To everyone not thinking twice
Should a saved some for yourself
So here’s an Idea
Close your mouth and use your ears
You just might learn something

No?
Well have it your way then
Don’t say
I didn't warn you
You could have learned a lot
We could have sat and talked
But instead you’re preaching like a fool

You hate the rain that brings
A sense of life to everything
You haven’t got a clue
All you brought was ignorance
To the hall of presidents
Hate to break the news

I will be the Victor Tonight

There’s gonna be a brawl in the hall of the presidents

Because you had something to prove

There is really nothing that you can do

You’ve brought it on yourself you fools

They call this

Elephant’s denial

Let Them Eat Cake

Written By: CK DEXTER HAVEN

Some polished stars
They just don’t ever die
That’s what they always said about you
Things don’t work out
As you might have planned
Everything goes on without you…

I tried so hard
You never cared
Everything’s been said again and again
You slipped right out
Of my grabbing hands
I’ll never see your face again

Some messed up things
Follow me around
That’s what they always said to you
Through fake displays
And homesick days
And all the shallow things we went through

I can count on one hand – Days we spent awake
Eyes on the minute hand - waiting for this to break

I tried so hard
You never cared
Everything’s been said again and again
You slipped right out
Of my grabbing hands
I’ll never see your face again

Your Dirty hands
Are keeping me awake
This room’s so cold without you
I’m sure their keeping warm
Inside someone’s arms
But they’ll soon forget about you

I tried so hard
You never cared
Everything’s been said again and again
You slipped right out
Of my grabbing hands
I’ll never see your face again

I can count on one hand – Days we spent awake
Eyes on the minute hand - waiting for this to break X3 to out

Discography

A Team The (2009)

Set List

20 - 40 Minutes.

F.D.A
Elephant's Denial
I Can't Help That I'm Pretty
A Lighthearted Look At The End Of The World
Blinking 8's
Let Them Eat Cake
Are We Dancing
FAME (Bowie cover)