Cosmo Jarvis
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Cosmo Jarvis

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"Cosmo Jarvis - live review - Kentish Town Flowerpot, London 15/09/09"

Devonshire film making singer Cosmo Jarvis has made an album of teenage angst and the like, and it’s perfectly adequate. But he has a new song called ‘Gay Pirates’ which hints at a deeper talent. Designed to freak out the lad rockers, it’s an awesome sea-shanty telling the tale of two men made to walk the plank because homosex wasn’t the done thing on the high sea. It’s vivid, violent and the most tragically moving love song we’ve heard all year. A handful of gigs in, it’s already a shoutalong live favourite and evidence we might have a miniature Tom Waits on our hands. - NME - 26/09/09

"Cosmo Jarvis – live review - The Troubadour, Earls Court, London ****"

Aged just 19 and from the rock and roll hotbed of Totnes, Devon, shaven-headed Cosmo Jarvis makes an unlikely star. Then he starts singing – and one-liners fly from his mouth in a tumble of hilarity that rivals Harry Hill and Eminem. Typical are: “The only girl I loved took 20 minutes to download,” and “He’s spending time with Doritos before he meets his wife.” Cosmo’s single, Chapter One, sounds like an English version of Beastie Boys. But, armed with just an acoustic guitar, he sings as sweetly as Paul Simon. It means the likes of Sort Yourself Out and, er, Gay Pirates are oddly touching yet still make the audience roar with laughter. “You’re just an idea your parents had one day,” sings Cosmo (his real name). Mr and Mrs Jarvis were certainly on to something – he’ll go far. - News of The World 07/06/09

"Cosmo Jarvis – album review 9/10"

In a nutshell…
Random, confused, dark but funny

What's it all about?

At first glance I thought I got 18 songs all on one CD but it turned out there are two different CDs on offer here. The first one is definitely my favourite and I think maybe some of the songs across both CDs could have been left out for quality over quantity. But each song is so different they need as much space as possible. The general message is a young man annoyed about his disruptive childhood, loved up friends and hoping to get lucky with Jessica Alba and a girl called Mel. In fact four of the songs on the first album are named after women.
The CDs veer from catchy, hilarious lyrics to sometimes quite dark songs and showcases the random thoughts that teenagers have. The second CD is more deep and meaningful. There's a sense he's covering all bases and tastes, just in case.

Who's it by

I first heard Cosmo Jarvis a year ago supporting Gabriella Cilmi and decided I liked him. Fast-forward several months and Zane Lowe is championing him and he supported Muse for their homecoming gig. This leaves me disappointed as he will probably go mainstream now, but I'm happy he has finally got a CD out as I refused to sign up to MySpace to download tracks.
Cosmo Jarvis is a Jersey USA-born and raised-in-Devon 19-year-old who has apparently penned over 250 songs. He himself admits that his lyrics are varied and random. HumasYouHitch focuses on trying to get a girl out of his league and annoyance at lad mates getting wrapped around the little fingers of girlfriends and is very relatable. SonOfABitch talks about alcoholic mothers and people needing to sort their lives out. But he doesn't do it in a heard-it-all-before way, which makes it funny, even if it shouldn't be.

As an example…

"When will you just learn she's got you/Wrapped round her little finger/We were brothers and/There were no others man, I told you/That all of this would happen/Just look what you did/Now you're a weird kid and those girlies/Are good until you have one/But I'm not jealous of you." – She's Got You

Likelihood of a trip to the Grammys

When Zane Lowe champions someone they tend to do well, but hopefully if major success should come his way Cosmo Jarvis will stay doing what he does best, writing what he feels about, rather than what record producers tell him to think about. It will do well, especially after the Muse accolade, but not sure if it's a top ten. It's not mainstream enough, thankfully.

What the others say

"...this will definitely be an album to watch out for. Cosmo Jarvis shows with She's Got You that he really is an exceptionally talented singer/songwriter, and I'm sure that he's got a fantastic career ahead of him in music." – Alt:UK

So is it any good?

Yes. I have been searching for his music on and off/when I remember since I heard him a year ago simply because I thought his lyrics were great, heartfelt, unpretentious and he says exactly what all other boys his age think, but put better. The first CD is my favourite because it is funny, catchy and everyone can relate to it, young and old, we've all been there. But that doesn't mean I don't like the second, SonOfABitch. Problems is about going through a childhood divorce and mixes The Streets-like verses with a guitar-heavy ranting chorus. This is one of the things I like about these CDs; they are not polished and you veer from one emotion to the next, but they are certainly full of surprises.
After a few listens I even decided some of the darker ones are cleverly written and likeable when you pay close attention. I still can't place the era, some of the tracks have recorders and banjos and wouldn't seem out of place in an old-school film. But then the lyrics aren't as wholesome and feel more at home in the modern music scene.


- 02/10/09

"The Music Fix – 11/10/09"

Cosmo Jarvis is a man in a hurry. 19 years old and he’s testing the waters of public approbation by releasing a double album. Technically a double album I should say as, in reality, we’ve got two very different albums here. Humasyouhitch is the smileyface to Sonofabitch’s sadface. Spunk vs blood. However you want to look at it, this set sees young Cosmo do a lot of growing up in a very short time. Oh, did I mention that he writes all the songs and plays all the instruments on the album too?

Oh it would be so easy to hate him wouldn’t it? But damn the boy if he isn’t the one in a million that can carry off a double album: make no mistake, this is a sickeningly fine piece of work. It doesn’t begin with a great fanfare though and ‘You got your head’ makes for an unremarkable opener. ‘Mel’s Song’ soon draws you in however with an edgy self-deprecating wit which sees him lament the fact that girls like you aren’t common and when they come along I miss them before confessing I’m sorry if you think £1.50 was wasted…those were the best goddamn chips I ever tasted.

There’s no glamour in Cosmo’s adolescent tales. This is a world populated by real, sweaty, sticky, fumbling kids. I like girls in trackies he tells us during ‘Maxine’ I don’t know why, they just grab me. He may use cheap devices such as football chant choruses but there’s no hint of lo-fi about this record; this is wall of sound territory and for every ukulele groove there’s a huge stadium rock guitar solo lurking around the corner. This is the finished article. The highlight of Humasyouhitch is the magnificent, hysterical ‘ Jessica Alba’s Number’ where grimy reality is exchanged for Hollywood fantasy in which he dreams of taking out Britney Spears and She’d say hit me baby one more time. No way Britney, domestic violence is a crime. Come on, he deserves a Mercury award for that line alone.

‘Kate Was ‘Ere’ is no less of a blast and the touching innocence of a line like Kate was here and I like how she talks is a refreshing step back from the grubby masturbatory lines which pepper the earlier tracks. Aww look, our little Cosmo is growing up and we’ve not even finished the first disc yet. Seriously, these are nine songs of absolute joyful abandon; big grins all around, job done.

That’d be enough for most people but Cosmo’s got a lot to get off of his chest and Sonofabitch sees a lot of skeletons being wrenched from closets. It isn’t pretty and at times it’ll leave you wishing that, like Peter Pan, he hadn’t had to grow up. ‘Clean my room’ starts off innocently enough as Cosmo decides to have a life laundry, clean his room and dump his girlfriend. Something goes seriously awry along the way though and by the end he’s upped the ante and is planning to burn my room and kill my girlfriend. The fun is over, the sun has gone home…welcome to Sonofabitch.

‘Mummy’s Been Drinking’ comes like a kick in the teeth, a hard hitting tale of a disintegrating family hierarchy. When he tells his mother, deadpan, shut the fuck up, I don’t care anymore you don’t need to be told that this is no act. We can only hope that the murderous thoughts which underlie ‘Sunshine and Dandelions’ are less genuine. ‘Problems’ is the spark of genius upon which this dark disc hinges and sees Cosmo shred his vocal chords as he screams the everyman chorus of we’ve got problems of our own. The common theme of the album come again to the fore as he details the crushing dysfunctionality of modern family life. There’s very little redemption for anyone here and after this it comes as little surprise to hear the line even at nine years old suicide was my decision.

Potent stuff but bring back the happy Cosmo please! Thankfully there are hints that he’s still in there somewhere, particularly when he declares that we don’t live in the capital so all we do is have sex with our relatives…we get what we deserve. God only knows what he’ll do next but we won’t have long to wait as, incredibly, his next album is already lined up and ready to roll. Utter lunacy of course but don’t bet against it being another triumph.

- Cosmo Jarvis – album review

" – 29/07/09"

New Jersey-born, Devonshire-bred Cosmo Jarvis first came to Rivmixx's attention with the excellent 'She's Got You' and it's hilarious accompanying video. Assuming the humour would run on into the live show, Rivmixx trotted along to catch their set at the excellent Slaughtered Lamb bar in Clerkenwell. ??Upon entrance to the venue we all immediately agreed that, if Smirnoff made opium dens, it would definitely come out something like the Slaughtered Lamb's amazing basement. Minimal lighting, patented 'scag snugs' and tonnes of low, comfy seating littered the floor, all contributed to the overall atmosphere of being somewhere you shouldn't.?? Cosmo Jarvis hit the stage, or rather the corner of the room, at 8.15pm and launched right into the aforementioned 'She's Got You'. Supported by only a bassist and drummer (his younger brother), Cosmo's group lacked the fuller sound of the recordings, but the three piece didn't seem to notice the difference and the stripped down approach worked very nicely. ??Keeping inter-song banter to a bare minimum, Cosmo's bashful attitude melted away when actually performing. Moving between tunes, Rivmixx (who had sunk a few over-priced German beers at this point and neglected to keep a set list) noted several from forthcoming album 'HumasYouHitch' including 'Sort Yourself Out' and 'Mummy's Been Drinking', as well as a few less familiar tracks such as the stomping 'Gay Pirates' (this may not be the song's actual title). ??Musically the band were far tighter than most of London's own preening rock wannabes and it seems that Cosmo is one of those naturally gifted b*stards that makes it all look easy. Never dropping a note as he showed off his accomplished guitar playing, he and the band ably switched between a variety of acoustic and electronic instruments, yet maintained a rough DIY edge which kept things interesting. ??Great catchy pop tunes combined with superb lyrics (treading a fine line between humour and darkness) and a tight live show. If there's any justice in the world this guy will be big, and if there isn't, well then the horrifically disturbing video he's just self-directed for 'Tuesdays' (and previewed to Rivmixx) is bound to gain him some notoriety.

- Cosmo Jarvis – live review


She's Got You (Wall of Sound) - 6th September 2009
You Got Your Head / Problems (Wall of Sound) - 8th November 2009
Crazy Screwed Up LAdy (Wall of Sound) - 22nd March 2010

Cosmo Jarvis (Wall of Sound) - 16th November 2009



Cosmo Jarvis is a new kind of artist, for whom one world will never be enough. He’s a songwriter and a singer, but he’s also a filmmaker, storyteller, poet, iconoclast, Jessica Alba enthusiast and campaigner for the equal treatment of gay pirates. He’s an ordinary teenager with extraordinary talents.

His heroes are as varied as the art he produces every single day; John Lennon, Robin Williams, Jim Carrey, Terry Gilliam, Jerry Garcia, Samuel L Jackson, Jamie Fox, Will Smith, George Lucas, River Phoenix, Joaquin Phoenix, Mohammed Ali, Maximus Decimus Peridius, Harrison Ford, Robert DeNiro, Elliot Smith and Frank Zappa.

And he’s fast becoming a hero to others, not least Wall Of Sound MD Mark Jones, who will release Cosmo’s eponymous debut album ‘Cosmo Jarvis’ this November. “Cosmo is without a shadow of doubt the most raw talent I’ve ever come across in all my years in music,” he says. “Every day I’m blown away by his natural ability and depth of musical and lyrical content. He has been truly blessed with an ability to speak to people of all ages and backgrounds and has an incredible future ahead of his. I hope the world is ready.”

Cosmo was born in 1990 in Ridgewood, New Jersey, making the move to Devon, England as a child. Maybe it was because there wasn’t much to do, or maybe it was just because he was so innately bloody talented, but Cosmo first began making films at home on VHS when he was barely twelve. The technology might have been primitive but his storytelling already bore a level of sophistication – he would film the television and then film out of the window because that way he knew that he was telling a story.

As he grew in age and competence so he grew in guts, making ‘Jackass’ style dare films that saw him and his skater friends convert bunk beds into quarter pipes, royally trashing the family home. And so Cosmo’s father Shaun was even more delighted than future label boss Mark Jones is now that around the same time he

would get his first guitar and began channelling his energies into music. The way he sees it now, the two mediums can and should sit side-by side. “There’s more to be done with film,” he reasons. “Music’s just something that I do, and making records sort of happens. Where some people write a diary, I just write songs.”

It seems perverse now that Cosmo is turning into a lyrical talent who is being whispered about in the same breaths as Alex Turner, but he never even intended to write them. “Lyrics would always really annoy me,” he says, “like there’d be this really great piece of music and somebody would ruin it by starting to sing over the top.”

Thankfully that too was a phase, and Cosmo now boasts something in the region of 250 songs – some complete, some instrumental sketches, but all shining in different ways through the unique prism of Cosmo’s talent.

“My music changes from song to song. I like to write in loads of different styles because there is so much to explore. I believe that music will never be fully understood so why stop at one sound? My song subjects change as well. Some of them are about people – fictional or real. Others are about my life, places, feelings, memories, general situations, dreams, growing up, changes, girls, films, loads of other stuff as well.”

With so many thoughts and feelings pulsing through Cosmo’s 19-year-old imagination and so many different styles in which to express them, his debut album was never going to be a very conventional affair. And so his first statement to the world is divided into two segments.

The first, ‘Humasyouhitch’ you might call the ‘fun’ side, packed with playful vignettes of sexual awakening or as Cosmo self-deprecatingly puts it, songs written “when I was discovering I had a penis and girls had vaginas and all that kind of thing.” The songs capture both the awkwardness and the ecstasy with a deftness of phrase rarely found.

‘Jessica Alba’s Number’ is a light-hearted romp through the fantasy little black book of billboard girls that Cosmo will probably never date. ‘Mel’s Song’ is dedicated to a girl who, while probably more obtainable, still seems to be just out of reach. Meanwhile, ‘She’s Got You’ is a cautionary tale to a former friend who, on falling in love, apparently forgot that he also had friends and a personality of his own.

But it’s on the other side, ‘Sonofabitch’, that Cosmo really demonstrates the wisdom lurking in a heart that’s not so much dark as immensely human. ‘Sort Yourself Out’ is

a tale of feeling old before your time that will resonate with people of any age. ‘Mummy’s Been Drinking’ shows a skill for storytelling, but the astonishing centre piece of the album has to be ‘Problems Of Our Own’. Its woozy sing-along and rapped verses cloak an impossibly bleak story of family breakdown made all the more bruising by the fact that it’s based, at least in part, on Cosmo’s own family life. He explains: “I could have just written it like that and used all t