Crooked Valentine
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Crooked Valentine

Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Band Rock Metal




"Crooked Valentine EP Review"

Toronto, Canada band Crooked Valentine pumping Zombie meets rage !!!!

Totally made me want to move my hips and shake my head back and forth. After having seen the band live i can honestly say that they back up the energy and grind on the EP.

The recording itself could be better, I found it a little thin for music with this assault and drive. I am sure it will be on the finished record. Guitars sound good very tight, Lindsay has a presence I can only describe as extremely sexual and commanding, If you are after something you can totally dance to and bang your head "This is it". Unfortunately I am on an international flight so I can't damn it !!!

I found myself wanting more at the end of the 4th song, I recommend a listen and a trip to see them live.

Downloads available on iTunes and be sure to Check them out on Facebook.

4 etoile……. -

"Crooked Valentine Live @ The Hideout"

"The first band, Crooked Valentine, blew my mind from their very first verse.The first thing I could manage to say was "Holy shit!"; swearing at my co-writer Bryen, who had recommended the band to me previously. My eyes and ears were pleasantly surprised and widely opened to witness their raging performance. It was hard to take my eyes off the front woman, Lindsey Valentine. Her killer look and energetic performance was irresistible. She screamed from the bottom of her lungs, spit her drinks all over the place, makeup ran everywhere - she was so hot to watch; she sure knows how to rock a crowd. Step by step the audience was drawn in closer and closer to the stage.

They had a nice surprise for all of us that got to the Hideout early enough too - Brett Carruthers from A Primitive Evolution joined in on the screaming for a song! They were done far too soon - I wanted more! Be sure to keep an eye on these kids - see them if you haven't!" -

"Crooked Valentine @ the Horseshoe"

"Blasting a hard-hitting industrial sound with a metallic edge, they’ve got an addictive presence on stage and a pleasure jam to. Accompanied with some groovy guitar riffs and bass lines along side some incredibly catchy hooks by miss Valentine herself, they’re in your face, fueled with a ton of energy and hell of a lot of fun.

On August 31st, as part of an event hosted by radio station, 102.1 The Edge the legendary Horseshoe Tavern was the place to be. With no cover and a total of four bands playing, for rock n’ roll fans it was a night definitely worth checking out. As due to a very mixed lineup of acts encompassing a variety of different genres, there was certainly something for everyone… but for those looking for something a little heavier, Crooked Valentine stole the show. They played a number of tracks for the enjoying crowd including, “Dead Zone” and “Gates of Hell,” as well as perfectly fitting cover of Rage Against the Machine’s “Bulls of Parade.” For hungry fans during and afterwords, “Crooked” cupcakes were available for consumption for only a dollar or two a piece, but some recorded material or merch for sale would have been even better. The band is planning on releasing a new EP and new fans can eagerly await it dropping in the near future.

Continuing on the Toronto live circuit, the band is expected to play many more shows in the coming months including this Saturday, September 18th at the famous Silver Dollar. Playing along side The Archives and The Playground Hookers, it’s definitely shaping up to be a killer set. Whether you’re in the city or not, make it out to the Silver Dollar this Saturday night for a night you won’t forget. It’s gonna be a good one.

Check out their music at:" - Gigsurfer

"Crooked Valentine @ Toronto Alternative Fashion Week"

"Hanging out between runway shows with ace fashion analyst and Alternative Week staff blogger Justine makes the time fly, as always, and means a late scramble to the music venue to see Crooked Valentine who are already knee-deep in their set. Fuse the outsized heavy metal flair of The Plasmatics with the carefree irreverence of Whale plus a liberal amount of Black Sabbath influence, and this band could be the result.

Lindsay, the foul-mouthed, head-banging, water-spouting centurion of the group tears her way through their wrecking-ball soundscapes, an unflagging sparkplug of a singer with no hesitation and total command. "Break Out” is a seductive rabble-rouser, “Dead Zone” a sinking depth-charge of snarling riffs, while the chugging "Peep Show" echoes a libidinous Rage Against The Machine stripped of agitprop. Lady Machete drums with dependable thudding intensity throughout – all business, and plenty of steely charisma. Scathing power chords are summoned through the hexagram-emblazoned amp of C.C. Spit, in 60’s biker style behind a sinister onyx guitar, flanked by soft-spoken Joe who exudes an occult stage presence as he pores over the bass.

Heavy, but not stupid heavy, y’know? Crooked Valentine’s metal has nuance and a passport to the wider world; Further proof tonight that the alternative can be just around the corner from the mainstream." - Brendan Adam Zwelling


"Sometimes all the world needs is a little rock ‘n roll. And with a beer-spitting front woman? Even better.

With heavy metal influence and stage presence to spare, Crooked Valentine took to the FAT stage to deliver a hard rocking performance. The band is fronted by Valentine, and she’s the kind of woman you want to see on stage – loud, strong, and able to hold her own against the bass-heavy music blasting from the speakers. And the band deserves equal props: Lady Machete on drums, C.C. Spit on guitars and Joe Bass on bass all delivered a killer show.

The music was loud, powerful, and exceeded far beyond the walls of 99 Sudbury. This, in my opinion, is the true testament of a great live band; even in a small space they made you feel like you could have been in biggest arena listening to the hugest band of the world. Not an easy feat to accomplish, but Crooked Valentine does it with ease.

Songs were straight up metal and rock, with a few covers thrown in for good measure, including Rage classic Bulls on Parade and a rendition of the Ghostbusters theme that got The Teddy Bear Project bear-man dancing his furry little heart out.

So if you’re looking for an awesome live show, sets your eyes on Crooked Valentine."

- Rachel Sin


Self-titled EP, Crooked Valentine



The Story of Crooked Valentine:

While enjoying a nighttime fire on the shores of Lake Ontario, The Valentines, a Toronto based Doo-Wop band, decided to go for a late evening dip. Little did they know that after sunset the waters would become a radioactive soup capable of altering the courses of their lives. Sloshing merrily in the brine, The Valentines were overtaken by a giant cresting wave and lost all consciousness. They awoke hours later at sunrise only to find they had all been endowed with new appendages that enabled them to rock the fuck out! What was once The Valentines now had mutated into molten metal Zombie Rock band, Crooked Valentine. Fronted by wild woman Lindsay Valentine, Doc Harlot on Bass, Schlossenator on guitar and Lady Machete on drums, Crooked Valentine now plays fiendish shows to enamored audiences who can't get enough of their hell-bred sonic brew.

Recent News:
-2012 show announcements: Jan. 14th with Teenage Head @ The Rockpile, Feb. 4th with CJ Sleez @ The Bovine, Feb. 25th @ Cherry Cola's and March 25th @ The Opera House for the Roadrunner CMW showcase. Many more to come!

-The Crooked Valentine songs “War Machine” and “Break Out” have been featured in two episodes of the Showcase television series “Lost Girl”.

-Crooked Valentine has released it’s first self titled EP, available on itunes or with download card purchase.

-Check out the latest review on