Crystal Missile
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Crystal Missile

Band Pop Rock


This band has not uploaded any videos
This band has not uploaded any videos


The best kept secret in music


This band has no press


Crystal Missile is currently spending time with robots and likenesses of Fidel Castro.


Feeling a bit camera shy


Crystal Missile here... It's getting stranger here every day Ken. Just after you and the missus left, Crystal Missile lands hot and heavy at the Key West airport in the G5-SP. We picked up the wheels you left for us (Ken keeps a Lamborghini Countach LP500 Quattro Valvole at the KW airport) and headed for The Metropolis. We head-slapped some sightseers from Iowa who were sitting at our reserved table, and Seth the bartender flashes over with some cyrogenically cold Bass Ale's, and a box of those Montecristo No.2s you keep behind the rail. Seth starts telling us a story about two clowns (he wasn't sure if they were actually there) who were looking for Ken and Crystal Missile earlier in the day. One clown had on a pink Speedo with a matching pink mesh top, and 3" platforms with the word 'zone' written on the bottom - the other clown had black socks, wingtips, jean cutoffs, and a tee-shirt that said "I'm an apple, bite me!" Seth told them you had just left, and that Crystal Missile wasn't due in for a few hours. Well, the two clowns started crying and jumping around. Seth said they looked as confused as two blind cats in a dog pound. They stumbled out of the place after Seth said he'd never heard of a drink called the Jack and Diane. And he sure as heck wasn't going to take any Mexican pesos to cover their tab. Ken, its just a matter of time.