Eddie Ifft

"The jokes that make me laugh are the most offensive ones," Ifft says.
Photo by SAKIphotography.com
Story by Jessamyn Cuneo
American Superstar Magazine,
May 2006

The only thing Eddie Ifft can seem to take seriously is comedy. Stand-up has magically redeemed his life. In the ten years he's been in the profession, he's exploited everything about his personality that's previously caused him to a) get suspended or expelled from every school he attended, and b) fired from every job he had.

"People love train-wrecks," Ifft says. "My whole life was a train-wreck, so why not exploit it?"

You may recognize Ifft from one of the higher-profile slices of entertainment in his portfolio. He's been featured on Comedy Central's Premium Blend. He was the host of Shark Week on the Discovery Channel. He's performed along with Dave Chappelle, Chris Rock, Robin Williams and more. And you'll be sure to see more of him soon, when his recently-filmed documentary America the Punch Line is released (www.americathepunchline.com).

Ifft's a classic Catholic-kid-gone-wrong; big heart, stellar values, excessive self-loathing, shadows of guilt, and finally, the essential razor-sharp tongue; all of which blends together in complete disharmony, and covers up quite nicely with manners and cuteness.

Recently, he's quit drinking.

"I learned how to not make my life a train-wreck," Ifft says, "and really become responsible and stuff. I just have to remember the train-wreck, and be able to recite it and talk about it."







Ifft's humor is, like him, many things all combined: Insightful; "We made a mistake when we invaded Iraq instead of middle-America." Biting; "If you've taken a picture of yourself flexing in a mirror, kill yourself." And most often, dirty and offensive; "If you rape a hooker, isn't it shoplifting?"

His favorite part of doing stand-up?

"Trail mix," Ifft answers, but that's really his favorite part of life. He's constantly feeding the addiction. Everywhere he goes, he leaves behind a little trail of cashews, M&M's and peanuts, along with his memorable jokes.

"No, probably the lack of responsibility and accountability," he continues. "I'm only responsible for myself, and usually what comes out of my mouth can only affect me."

Ifft chooses subject matter and style based on what appeals to him. And he loves offensive humor - the more offensive, the better.

"The jokes that make me laugh are the most offensive ones," Ifft says. "I don't think you could offend me. I'm willing to look at or watch anything, but that's not going to change my value system. But yeah, I've really offended people. I'm an idiot, I admit it."

Well, hey, at least he's honest. Which is more than the crowded world of lying bastards can say.

- American Superstar Magazine

For Comedian Eddie Ifft, Stand up comedy wasn’t a choice, it was a consequence.‘I honestly have got fired from eve-ry job I have ever had, the things I got fired for in jobs, I got hired for in comedy... I actually had a pretty good easy life until I did comedy.’Ifft has just returned to Australia for his third tour – a purveyor of taxis this time instead of hire cars. Driv-ing in the opposite lane can be like sleeping on the wrong side of the bed, you still get the rest but it feels like someone else’s dream.‘I wrecked the car driving on the other side of the road. I pulled into the wrong lane and smashed the car next to me, my girlfriend was in the seat next to me and she was freaking.. I was on my way to the Gold Coast Airport and we were late for the flight so I pulled into the Thrifty Rental – and said just send me the bill, I have to go and by the way I just smashed the shit out of your car. They nailed me, I wrecked the car, I had my insur-ance through American Express, I was insured in every country except Australia.’From appearing with Seinfield in the Comedian documentary to fea-turing on Comedy Central, Eddie’s humourous hunch has taken him all over thee world. Most recently, South Africa. So how does one perform comedy in one of the most tragically AIDS affected places on the planet?‘Aids is an Epidemic there, one in four people have it. I have a joke, being the ignorant American... I am shaking hands and counting... one, two, three, four, no not you. In Durban it’s even worse. 60% of the people there have AIDS. You realise that your problems aren’t so bad and then you start obsessing over their problems... We claim that we go after Saddam Hussein because they had weapons of mass destruc-tion. But we didn’t find them, because they were in Africa. They are called AIDS.’‘Do you know how many deaths by AIDS? How many by terrorists? Only 10 000 people have been killed by terrorists, but there are 13 million AIDS orphans in Africa – let’s go after AIDS not terrorism. 90% of our media focuses on terror-ism not AIDs. Do you know why? Because AIDS victim don’t have oil. Here’s what they need to do. The AIDS victims need to all work at a gas station and when people pull up, they shouldn’t serve them, and when they say I want gas, they should say, well I don’t want AIDS.’Great comedy has the guts to target real issues, it’s not just funny for the sake of being funny.‘I read Chris Rock one time, and he doesn’t just pick subjects that are funny. If you think something funny – stick with it. I’ve seen Chris Rock work at jokes that aren’t working , and a couple of months later he’s doing it and it totally kills.’‘My comedy is a mixutre – I like to talk about serious subjects. A girl once said to me after a show: you were right about comedy it makes you think, and even though I thought your AIDS jokes were wrong, it made me think about the fact that 1 in 4 people there are dying.’Full time maverick and part time so-cial commentator, Eddie has made good use of his time tooling around the globe, shooting a documentary he calls ‘America – The Punchline’. I’ve been looking at the world’s perspective of America as seen through comedy. I feel like you guys are America 4 years ago. It seems like the same exact environment that we were in after 9/11 – acting from Fear, and that’s how you con-trol people. I have given up on wor-rying about terrorism – terrorism wins when you are afraid. That’s the whole purpose of it. I went through security in Africa, and the metal detector went off because of metal in my ankle, the security guy asked: do you have a gun, I said No, so he just let me walk through. You’ve got to love that.’‘The war on Terrorism is just like the War on Drugs – noone wins. My whole movie is about how Americans are perceived – I travel around the world to 15 different countries to find out what the world thinks about America, because I wanted to find out why America is a punchline of so many jokes – what are these stereotypes? I don’t think people hate America, they hate our leaders, but they don’t run our country. The global corporations run our country. The government doesn’t tell us what to do: Sony, and Nike... we are all guilty for eating McDonalds and drinking Coca cola...’So is Eddie Ifft an organic Man?‘No, that’s the worst thing. We’re all hypocrites. I ate McDonalds two nights ago and I’m talking on a No-kia phone. That’s what our film is all about!... Damn I’m going to get rich and live in a castle so I don’t have to talk to poor people anymore.’As a fellow comedian, it’s always refreshing to speak with someone so in touch with their comic voice, and so passionate about the planet.‘It took me about 10 years to really work out what I wanted to say, and I think I am just starting to get my voice. I used to be in politics, I worked for a senator and I wanted to get into politics myself. I worked at it but I thought – comedians are like politicians. Except I can say what I feel when I feel like it a - Mandy Nolan