Free Swim
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Free Swim

London, England, United Kingdom | INDIE

London, England, United Kingdom | INDIE
Band Pop Rock


This band has not uploaded any videos
This band has not uploaded any videos




I get sent a lot of music, a shit load of music. Unfortunately a lot of it is a load of shit or, at worse, bone crushingly mediocre. Thankfully a lot of bands include photos of themselves and some of these photos are so pitiful that it means I can delete thier emails immediately and save myself minutes of valuable listening time. It’s amazing how the little things count. I guess when sending out your music to people there are certain rules y’all need to follow:

* Don’t be old. Seriously if you didn’t spend at least 3 nights off your tits on methadrone last year you’re too old to be in a band. Equally if you feel even the slightest bit guilty about fancying anyone in Skins then you’re also too old. And a probably Paedophile.
* Dont’ be fat. Yes Alison Moyet did ok, Yes Ultrasound got a record deal and apparently even Beth Ditto is ‘cool’. Actually no she is not. She is hideously overweight, almost certainly has BO problems and frankly a terrible role model for youngsters everywhere. Stay skinny and do a load of fucking drugs. That way you’ll look good and be cool and then eventually die at an early age thus showing easily led fans the downside of drugs. Oh and Cee-Lo can fuck right off, he’s fat AND has freakishly short arms.
* Don’t even try and fucking pull a fast one. If you dont send a photo with a track or your Myspace/BandCamp/Facefuck page has ‘arty’ images that don’t reveal what you look like, everyone will automatically assume that you’re either fat and ugly or fat and ugly and used to be in about 6 other bands that everybody hated the first 6 times round.
* It’s not just about the photos btw, I’m not that shallow. Be careful what you write to go with you’re crappy picture. No one cares what the ‘Scunthorp Gazette’ has to say about your band, certainly not me and to be honest, not even your mum. She only stuck the article on the fridge because it’s the only notable thing you have ever achieved in the past 27 years you’ve been leeching off your parents.
* Do be careful. Sometimes even if you are young and skinny and don’t look like a tool things can go wrong. TAKE NOTE.

So yeah, some key rules there, hope you paid attention. Today’s band, Free Swim, didnt send me a photo. They have no photo’s on their bandcamp page either. According to the rules above they aint doing well. Thing is, they have recorded an concept EP about a panda trying to climb Mount Everest, it’s called ‘Yolanda The Panda’ and it’s bloody brilliant.

Frankly, I dont care what they look like, they are already 99 times better than most bands. I reckon they sound like Super Furry Animals meets Fonda 500, whioch is A GOOD THING. Did I mention IT’S A CONCEPT EP ABOUT A MOUNTAINEERING PANDA????!!!!!

I know what you’re thinking. But seriously, trust me. If you haven’t already heard them (they’re getting loads of play from the lovely peeps at 6music) then you better have a listen to the glorious ‘I Want To Be A Mountaineer!’:

Free Swim – I Want to be a Mountaineer!

See told you. I love this lot! What’s more you can the whole EP for FREE from the band’s bandcamp page! Just click HERE.

That’s me done for the day. Please remember The Rules. If you need a bit more help go HERE. - Ollie Russian, My Bands Better Than Your Band


'Two Hands is OK' EP - January 2011 (BBC 6music, XFM)
'Yolanda the Panda' EP - March 2011 (BBC Radio 1, BBC 6music, XFM)
'Dennis' EP - February 2012 (BBC 6music, XFM)
'She Dreams In Lights' EP - September 2012 (BBC Radio 1, BBC 6music, XFM)



Free Swim is the music of Secondary School Lab Technician Paul Coltofeanu from Reigate in Surrey, UK. Having squandered the opportunity of a lifetime with another band in his early 20s, Paul ploughed headfirst into a six year wilderness of regret, woe and countless Friday evenings with little but a discontinued Casio keyboard, a growing collection of Frank Zappa records and a temperamental 8 Track Recorder for company.

After much time spent regrouping at All Tomorrow's Parties, wandering the streets of Brooklyn and getting lost in Eastern Europe, Paul created Free Swim in which he plays & sings everything while patient flat-mate David Knight contributes spoken word monologues.

The first 4 ‘surreal concept’ EPs have all been released on Paul’s very own Sex Farm Records label ( and been acclaimed for their lyrical whimsy and musical proficiency, culminating in support from BBC Radio 1, BBC 6 Music, Amazing Radio and XFM. They are all available to download from

The first incarnation of the Free Swim live show took to the road in 2011 featuring Paul and David augmented by Ryan, Steve and Joe (who performed in an animal suit as Yolanda the Panda).

In October 2012, The Guardian broadcast a 360° video session of Free Swim playing 3 songs filmed at The Hospital Club in London in association with The Line of Best Fit and Amazing Radio. The band also recorded their first BBC Introducing Session in the same month.