Gena Cameron

Gena Cameron

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18 Years

Written By: Gena Cameron

18 YEARS

18 years has now arrived,
The truth now wait'n to come outside. From those 18 years I stayed away, to here right now on your special day. No memories of birthdays, drivin lessons or pics to remind me, of how you made it through all those years without me.
Those times I bit my tongue and said noth'n bout who really said what, did that, blamed something.
That was wrong I should of have said it all, cause she ruined our love afterall. Thought you mite have seen the lite, when I got to show you I did everything rite. Those lies she told you all your life, still even with proof you take her side.
I should of cussed bout her, like she did bout me. Given you a chance to believe either side of this family tree.
But I took the high road, like everyone said, he'll love ya when he's older, don't cuss the mother you'll live to regret. The only thing I regret is not tell'n you from the very start, better late than never so listen up hard.

I hope and pray when you become a man, you don't find a pretty with a baby plan. Don't trust her, make your own family tree and don't let history ever repeat. Those teddy bears by the door you never did get, bet they went strait in the bin for rubbish to collect. It's time for rebuilding, come see about me. We'll do all those things we should of done for free.

So, years zero to 3, yes ya can see him, oops acutally ya can't. I need more money gotta get some diapers, yet I see ya at all the niteclubs ? No money, no see - there the rules I had to play. Hold up, now I can have you while she goes away. Wait whats that ? The new man wants to adopt, so send me the papers, apparently he cares alot. No papers, no phone call, no more visits, thats how it plays our for the next 4 - 5 years.

I have a new life, baby on the way, can old wounds heal ? Try to find you but might as well be bending steel. Tried father support groups and old friends I used to know. But she's married now with a name no-one knows. Still pay'n thru the ass to support ya. Hope those clothes on ya back are worth a pretty dollar. Finally after months of trying, found that bitch that was in hiding.

Could of knocked me down with a feather when she said I could see ya, guess she had more kids, didn't really need ya. So 8 - 12 years all goin well. But not pay'n enough legally so she gives me private agreement to sell. Sure we can do it, so we all agree. Till I fall off my bike and hit a tree. Spend 3 months in hospital on deaths door. No word from you - can't afford to pay no more. Not good enough for that bitch again, take me to court if ya wanna see ya son again.

This time we go to court, but it takes some time. Just enough for her to poision your mind. Yes sir, judge says I can see him anytime, no abuse, pay the bills and ya are mine. Except my boy, well he hates me now. And it's all once again, thanks to that cow.
Go to the park can't wait to see ya again. But find ya cry'n wanting to be adopted by mamas new husband. Broke my heart in so many pieces, gave ya your wish just to stop ya tears. No more money I pay, but it's like you died. My kids sit around, do noth'n but cry. Take down ya pics, move house just to forget and mend. But 3 years later get a call, I owe money again.

I hope and pray when you become a man, you don't find a pretty with a baby plan. Don't trust her, make your own family tree and don't let history ever repeat. Those teddy bears by the door, you never did get, bet they went strait in the bin for rubbish to collect. It's time for rebuilding, come see about me. We'll do all those things we should of done for free.

Years 12 - 18, didn't think anyone could be so mean. Guess what, no adoption - great hubby gone byebye. Must have been to many of mama's lies. But no phone call to me, hell I thought you were fine. Try and find ya again, but new mountain to climb. Once again she's moved and changed her name. But back to the old one, what a shame. I give ya a call - yeah dad I'm good, one day we'll catch up kick a ball. But ya never do ring, I decide not to push. But watch ya on facebook and man ya look'n good. Look happy and well, I don't know how, living with that bitch must be hell.

After months of watching I finally email, wait by the computer to check for new mail. And yes, not only are ya doin fine, your work'n driv'n, now thats a son of mine. Ya make me proud but only for a sec, now my payments will change, watch mama go sick. And true to her form there she goes again. Only she's kick'n you out if you can't pay the rent. Just when I thought this would make you see the lite, your on my case say'n I'm full of spite. Well fuck yeah I am and ya still don't get it, she's kick'n ya out cause now she can't get it. Yet it's still my fault, just like the last 18 years, the fleeting moments we had still brings me to tears.

But I'm done try'n. You'll have to live life without me. I got my own wife and kids, that ac