George Hrab

George Hrab

 Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, USA
BandComedySinger/Songwriter

Nerdy Sexy-Geek Biolojams via Acoustic Philosofunk. You know... like Grandma used to make.

Biography

Multi-instrumentalist, singer, songwriter, producer, composer and heliocentrist George Hrab has written and produced five independent CDs; published one book; performed for President Clinton; shared the stage with countless numbers of musicians and acts; and has traveled across the country both as a drummer for the nationally recognized Philadelphia Funk Authority and as defacto President for Life of The Geologic Orchestra. Humbly following in the footsteps of such icons as Frank Zappa, Mark Twain, Carl Sagan, Will Rogers and even Penn & Teller, George has made it a personal quest to improve the cognitive thinking skills of each and every American by reaching them through their funny bones and dance shoes. His music, skepticism and wit have been featured on many radio broadcasts, TV shows, and podcasts. Along with his heroes Michael Shermer, James Randi and "Bad Astronomer" Phil Plait, George recently was featured in the annual Skepdude calendar put out by Skepchick.org. In addition to his ten-piece Geologic Orchestra shows, Geo often performs in a solo acoustic setting, wherein he re-interprets his own works, and also delves into bizarre covers. Along with superlative musicianship, these intimate shows are known to showcase his quick wit and incendiary social commentary. He also produces a weekly podcast called "The Geologic Podcast" which features humor, sketches, skeptical and free thinking commentary and weekly segments like The Religious Moron of the Week, Grandma's Entertainment Report, The History Chunk, Ask George, So Where Ya Calling From? and Interesting Fauna. George recently published "Non-Coloring Book" featuring a collection of his assorted writings, and also delivered a well received "fan of Geology" lecture discussing the evidence of the earth's age at the 2007 Dragon Con science track. Priding himself on a truly eclectic approach, he's a songwriter/performer who is wry but not angst-ridden, talented but modest. He's been labeled an extremely smart guy doing exceptionally silly things in both amazingly complex and simply straightforward ways, all with the goal of being as entertaining as humanly possible.

He hopes to someday be the second person to rollerblade on Neptune.

Lyrics

brainsbodyboth

Written By: George Hrab

Some girls are born with looks to kill
some girls are born with intimate skills
some girls are just concerned with fun
some girls are like an SNL skit at a quarter to one
what I need is a two-sided coin
she better satisfy my brain as well as my loins
she better wear a tight dress and have a mind that’s strong
I want brains and a body is that so wrong?
when she shows me her brain cells
then my pride suddenly swells
like a Botticelli chick she’s on the half shell
but she likes gettin’ nasty like Tori Welles

brainsbodyboth... I wanna eat my cake and have it too

It’s scary, a dictionary is very good
to try and retain and impress
but I also don’t mind a vinyl dress
and when she’s watchin’ Jeopardy
she never has to guess
you may ask why I’m specific
well dumb girls make me soporific
I need a brain and a bod that are both terrific
like a domain name that’s case specific
she’s the queen of conversation
a panel member on Face the Nation
but she gets on all fours without hesitation
and she got the best seat without a reservation

brainsbodyboth... it’s true, I want a high IQ

She drinks Perrier, she reads Beaudelaire
I like to smell her hair and her underwear
’cause her derriere goes from here to there
she’s like two floor toms, rack, kick, and snare
she goes to museums like Whitney to learn
about the pigment at the installation
she also knows S. Morgenstern
is a figment of imagination
she always puts Horace before Descartes
she can make a point like Georges Seurat
she can choke the chicken like Julia Child
and she knows how to make my Oscar Wilde

brainsbodyboth...

She got brains and a brickhouse bod to behold
she knows FE’s iron and AU’s gold
she got the origami hands that can flex and fold
"love for sale" I’m sold, I’m sold
boys don’t be afraid of a high IQ
a girl with smarts knows what to do
she reads Masters & Johnson and Kinsey, too
Boys, do I lie? It’s true, it’s true

It’s true, I want a high IQ, how ‘bout you?

You better know who the hell is Eddie Jobson
and have a Brit wit like Emma Thompson
you can use irony to cut and slay
and you can have the chunky glasses like Tina Fey
you better like films by Kurosawa
you better stay naked outside the shower
you better ding dang dingle for over an hour
then calculate binomials to the 10th power

brainsbodyboth...

She can make my wick stick out my candle
she knows which one’s Haydn and which one is Handel
so put on a dress that barely fits
then shake your ass and show me your wits

Think for Yourself

Written By: George Hrab

Think for Yourself

As sure as the star bellied sneeches butter the underside of their toast
All things being equal, the simplest answer’s worth most
Don’t rely on Vishnu, Buddha, Ron Popeil or Holy Ghost
Just consider these words, and that ship of life you’re sailing
on might not smash into the coast:

Watching every channel, all that I do is see,
oceans of gullible conformity
Oh I’ve had enough, of all the smiles and
all the teeth and all the nods
And I’ve had my fill of promises,
from magic rays, to painless perfect bods

Watching every channel, that flashes before me,
I can’t believe the level of spirituality
Oh I’ve had enough, of the geeks who have claimed to have found “the” way
I wish that guy watching would just take a sec,
and consider what I have got to say

Think for yourself, little man
Don’t let ‘em tell you that they have the plan
’Cause everyone’s lost chin deep in the sand
And what they tryin’ to sell to you,
you shouldn’t be buyin’

Think for yourself, little girl
Don’t let ’em tell you how to run your world
‘Cause everyone’s the same choking back that nervous hurl
And if they tell you they ain’t,
well they’re just lying, yeah they’re just lying

Reading all the pages in the standard magazines
I wonder if they realize what all the small print means
Oh you need a microscope,
to read about the no fault guarantee
And to see that “these results not typical” and
this offer’s void in any state that’s spelt with an “e”

Watching all the people place bet after amazing bet
I wonder if they realize their misplaced raison d’être
But they don’t wanna hear, about the odds and statistic A and B
‘Cause they know a guy who’s got a friend who’s got a brother
Who read a book by this other guy who says that
“hey, this stuff always works for me!”

Think for yourself little folks
Yo…check one-two one-two, is this thing on?
Hey, these are the jokes…
Beware of the dudes who don’t like jabs and pokes
‘Cause when you can’t laugh at yourself,
you just end up crying

Think for yourself, little friend
Is it you that they like, or is it the money you spend
Beware of the jerks, who’d rather break than bend
And to question anything to them is like dying,
yeah it’s like dying

Listening to the radio, from my comfy cozy chair
No one seems to question all the claims out on the air
Oh I’m tired, of all the promises so tremulous
And I can’t conceive the cache of creeps and cretins
who continue to be so uncannily credulous

Think for yourselves, everyone
Don’t believe what is said, put your stock in what’s done
Insist on all the facts, then add up your own sum
Or else the punch you might get won’t be Hawaiian

Think for yourselves one and all
Don’t jump to conclusions don’t beat up Peter if you’re pissed at Paul
Don’t fall for anything, and please don’t drop the ball
Just be sure to do your who, what, where,
when and why-in, yeah- Hawaiian.

How Do You Do

Written By: Georg Hrab

How do you do what you do after dealing with what’s done
Smiling statue standing ground while I turn tail and run
How do you do what you do with the crap cards you’re dealt
Turning deuces into kings while dealers bite the felt

Oh no not me I can barely talk
Oh no not me I can’t chew gum and walk

How do you hear what you hear after hearing what you heard
Endless optomism despite cruel concluding word
How do you hear hear what you hear when all I hear is bunk
Pitching perfect melodies while others pitch out junk

Oh no not me, while you sing I shout- Headphones, roll tape, but no words come out

So talented it makes you sick
So talented it must be a trick
Out of the park with each at bat
Tell me how can I be like that

How do you see what you see after seeing what you saw
Effortless enjoyment while I stare with open jaw
How do you see what you see from every single side
Calmly catching what you seek while I count 10 and hide

Oh no not me, what you are I ain’t- dub me, mediocrities patron saint

So talented it makes you cry
So talented and such a nice guy
Right through the goalposts with each attempt
Tell me why do I feel exempt

Just when I though I had the answers, one little question still stays true
Won't somebody kindly tell me
How do you do, the things you do

So talented it makes you think
So talented it’ll drive me to drink
Singular head with multiple hat
Tell me why can’t I be like that

How do you do what you do?

Skeptic

Written By: George Hrab

You can’t believe what a skeptic I am
I can’t believe you believe in that man
We disagree but I still give a damn

Your guru assures if I follow his regimen
You will become a most excellent specimen
The power to live on and on for all days
Is right at your fingertips, if someone pays

He says that his aura will keep you alive
For 3 easy installments of $10.95
The device he uses sucks out the bad juices
And leaves no bad bruises, it simply deduces
The proper percentage of X in your brain
This miracle cure leaves no permanent pain

You can’t believe what a skeptic I am
I can’t believe you believe in that plan
We disagree but I still give a damn

Your astral projections are coming along
Your chakra and chi are both growing real strong
Your cold disappeared after just nine short days
All thanks to the words on the health store displays

Now due to the juices and pills and the creams
Your body’s lost toxins (whatever that means)
You’ve stopped eating all of that sinister food
Your dinner tastes awful so it has to be good

You can’t believe what a skeptic I am
I can’t believe you believe in that sham
We disagree but I still give a damn

The ramification of treatments from holymen
Leaves me slightly queasy
deep down in the abdomen
Convinced that the lives that they lead
needs adjusting
The drive to the bookstore
and blindly start trusting
The miracles and cures
all laid down in black ink
Never even bothering to stop and think

The only real power that I do believe
is the dollars and cents all these authors receive
If miracle wonders were held in their looks
Why waste precious time and try selling their books
Why sit and wait for your publishing royalty
If one has real power who needs reader loyalty
If you could travel by thought to a mystical place
Why go to book signings and vie for shelf space

Why wait for your agent to call you and vent
And try to convince you he’s worth 12 percent
Why bother with talk shows and a crazed publicist
Why deal with the people that repeatedly insist
You show them real proof that your powers exist
Hey convince some real skeptics or cease and desist
Trust me six months from now you will not be missed

What is the moral we all must learn
‘specially those of us with money to burn
before your eyes widen to the book on the shelf
THINK, is he helping you or is he helping himself

You can’t believe what a skeptic I am
You should believe what a skeptic I am

Goodbye

Written By: George Hrab

Now that the night has ended, now that the evening's through
Although I don't want to do what I have to
It's time to try and say goodbye to you

Now that the lights have all been turned on,
the time flew by somehow
Although I don't want to take a final bow
I have to try and say goodbye for now

Hands on the clock keep moving
My watch is no friend of mine
That's one set of hands that are pointless to hold
It won't help me slow down time

Au revoire and aloha, adios tambien
With these words I'll wish you well my friend
Let me repeat, until we meet again

Hands on the clock keep ticking
My watch is no friend of mine
That's one set of hands that are pointless to hold
It won't help me slow down time

Arrivaderci and dobranich, vaya con dios tambien
With these words I'll wish you well my friend
Let me repeat until we meet again
Let me repeat until we meet again

God Is Not Great

Written By: George Hrab

god is not great, not from where I stand
this twenty first century man can,
tend to get I rate, on a scale from one to one
less than some, it’s no fun
pounding my fists at the gate

god is not great, I’ll plainly state, it’s not to late, maybe it is

god’s way to mean, for all the power he’s got
apparently it’s a lot, I find it all obscene
quite enough of this bad play, yet they stay,
day after day, less logic more la-trine

god’s way to mean, I’ll calmly scream, and cause a scene

and in a way, it’s a shame, that some folks would remain
in a box, and ignore, what he might have made us for

god’s no ‘of course’, he’s had enough of a chance
a new song needs a new dance, I’ll scream untill I’m horse
race is lost but jockeys whip, though their grip
starts to slip, never questioning the source

god’s no of course, christian or norse, Sauron or force,
to me it’s all the same

god is not great.

Discography

albums released:
[sic]
Minutiae
Vitriol
Coelacanth
Interrobang

singles include:
brainsbodyboth
Think For Yourself
Barney's In the Vent
Age of the Fern
Moses & Morty
Nun
Skeptic
Cruel Spines
Convenient
Blue Genes
'Ya Famous?
Sciurus Carolinensis

Set List

Typical sets are anywhere from 45 minutes to three hours. Five albums of material guarantees a different show each night. Geo plays material primarily from his albums namely: [sic], Minutiae, Vitriol, Coelacanth and Interrobang; but has been known to do bizarre covers including Frank Zappa, Pink Floyd, Talking Heads, W.A. Mozart, Leonard Bernstein, Aaron Copland, Lou Rawls and Queen.

A very popular feature of any Geo concert is the Q&A, where George takes questions from the audience, and espouses on topics ranging from the inner workings of quantum mechanics, to whether Lindsay Lohan looks better thin or chunky.