GoatFarmer

Oedipus Tex grew up on a steady diet of Carlings Black Label and Gospel Music until he got his first guitar at age 14...then it was Wild Turkey, Johnny Cash and Fast Women. It wasn't long until Tex knew "The Good Lord put me on this earth to bang on these strings and to show them people that music ain't music lessen it kicks 'em in the balls". With GoatFarmer, Tex's low slung, growling telecaster, and bitterly sarcastic vocal ramblings have done just that. Many a crowd has wandered from the venue humming Goatfarmer tunes while simultaneously shaking their heads and muttering "that boy just ain't right".

Howard Johnson began his career in the industry as a chain of hotels across the midwest. Very early in his modest beginnings, he noticed that Wayne Newton and Gene Simmons were getting all the girls, so at the advice of his kinfolk, he loaded up his truck and moved to Beverly Hills. His raucous attack on the four string has made guitar manufacturers extremely happy and his vocal stylings, while pleasant to the ears, have made crowds stand up and say "Who the F is Led Zeppelin?".

El Guapo is very elusive about his past, which has lead many to the theory that he in the witness protection program. He's a soft spoken man,who enjoys long walks on sun baked blacktop, high colonics with Frank's Red Hot, and an insatiable thirst for the "Perfect Mai Thai". HoJo and Tex found El Guapo underneath the Queen City viaduct, drumming on pickle buckets and singing the entire sound track to "Oh Brother Where Art Thou", surrounded by a chorus line of nude pigeon pole dancers. Needless to say, the boys offered him a job on the spot. The deal was sealed by sharing a bottle of night train while sitting outside a free clinic and discussing the finer points of effective animal husbandry.