Guantanamo Baywatch

About twenty or so years ago, while in exile because of his supposed death, Elvis Presley met three individuals. That night while drinking heavily on a secluded beach in Waikiki, Lux Interior, Roy Orbison, Wanda Jackson and Elvis decided they'd all get together and light a fire. It's still unclear who's baby is who's, but Chicki Baby was the first born with a bass guitar in one hand and a burrito in the other. Pizza Eater arrived next, wearing nothing more than a tank top and a crazed look in his eyes. Finally, Turok ate his way out of the womb and the three fled into the dark surf. The ocean carried them over and under the waves, never to be seen again by their parents. Roughly 20 years and 6 months after that fateful night, Chicki Baby overheard someone across the bar telling a story to a weary hunter about Elvis being alive still. It was there that she met Pizza Eater and Turok, huddled over two beers in nothing more than tank tops and tattered swim trunks on that cold november night. They all knew what the truth was that night and in a truly epiphanic moment realized that they had to spread the message of summer and surf to the cold, grey skies and faces of the world. Guantanamo Baywatch was born.