Honchie

Honchie

BandComedyRock

Combining off-the-wall wit with solid musicianship, Honchie has been compared to Tenacious D, Frank Zappa, and Ween. While their live show – complete with shtick, spontaneity, and mayhem – is sometimes closer to an Andy Kaufman spectacle than a rock concert.

Biography

Honchie has played an array of key festivals, including Vans Warped Tour '05, South By Southwest, and North By Northeast to name a few. They've also garnered national media attention. Including interviews and performances with Much Music (Canada), HDNet’s True Music, and Sheryl Underwood and Friends. They're also currently in rotation on several XM radio stations and were recently featured on hardDrive, a nationally syndicated FM radio program.

Lyrics

Mofo

Written By: Honchie

Motherfucker, you stole my stereo.
You stole my stereo.
Motherfucker, you stole my stereo.
I said you stole my stereo.

Hi-fi, supersonic, motherfucking stereo with dynamic sound.
It plays my eight tracks. And it plays my records too. You know it do.
Hi-fi, supersonic, motherfucking stereo with dynamic sound.

Motherfucker, you stole my Cheerios.
You stole my Cheerios.
Motherfucker, you stole my Cheerios.
You stole my Cheerios.

Lightly toasted, super-crunchy, extra-tasty breakfast treat that I like to eat.
I eat it for breakfast. And lunch and dinner too, you know I do.
Lightly toasted, super-crunchy, extra-tasty breakfast treat that I like to eat.

Motherfucker, you stole my G.I. Joe. You stole my G.I. Joe.
Motherfucker, you stole my G.I. Joe. I said you stole my G.I. Joe.

All-American, ass-kicking, knife-wielding G.I. Joe with bionic arm.
He fights the Germans. And he kills Koreans too. You know he do.
All-American, ass-kicking, knife-wielding G.I. Joe with bionic arm.

Motherfucker.

Monkey Midget

Written By: Honchie

(NOTE: no profanity, radio-friendly version also available)

You take a monkey, you take a midget. You take a monkey, and then you take a midget.

You take that fuckin' monkey, you mix it with a midget,

and then you got a motherfuckin' funky monkey midget. God Damn!

You take a monkey, you take a midget. You take a monkey, and then you take a midget.

You take that fuckin' monkey, you mix it with a midget,

and then you got a motherfuckin' funky monkey midget. God Damn!

I had a monkey and I put it in the back of my car.

We took off down the street and then we went inside of a bar.

The cast of Fantasy Island was in there, little Herve was gettin' his swerve on in there.

That midget started makin' eyes at my monkey

and then they went inside of a room and it got funky.

It was monkey midget love, that's what I'm talkin' bout, get with it.

My monkey got it on with the million-dollar midget.

Herve! Villaichez!

You take a monkey, you take a midget. You take a monkey, and then you take a midget.

You take that fuckin' monkey, you mix it with a midget,

and then you got a motherfuckin' funky monkey midget. God Damn!

You take a monkey, you take a midget. You take a monkey, and then you take a midget.

You take that fuckin' monkey, you mix it with a midget,

and then you got a motherfuckin' funky monkey midget. God Damn!

Inside

Written By: Honchie

I don’t want to hurt you.
I don’t want to make you cry.
I just want to hold you
In my arms tonight.

I didn’t mean to bite you
So hard on the ass last night.
But sometimes it happens
When I get drunk.

In the morning, it’s a new day.
Yeah, in the morning, I’m a brand new man.
Gonna put my arms around you.
Gonna love you every way I can.

I want to put my penis inside your vagina.
I want to put my penis inside your vagina.

I don’t want to argue.
No, I don’t want to fuss and fight – no.
I just want to make sweet love
In the candlelight.

I didn’t mean to burn you
When I covered you in candle wax.
But sometimes it happens
‘Cause I smoke crack.

In the morning, it’s a new day.
Yeah, in the morning, I’m a brand new man.
Gonna put my arms around you.
I’m gonna love you every way I can.

I want to put my penis inside your vagina.
I want to put my penis inside your vagina.
I want to put my penis inside your vagina.
I want to put my penis inside your vagina.

Discography

International World Champions of Rock Music
Deathfists of Rage

IWCoRM and DOR are both available at CD Baby (http://cdbaby.com/honchie). Tracks have surfaced on stations throughout the country:

XM Radio
hardDrive (nationally syndicated FM radio program)
97.1 KEGL FM/Dallas, TX
KLSU 91.1 FM/Baton Rouge, LA
WROX 96X FM/Norfolk, VA
KLAQ 95.5 FM/El Paso, Tx
Surf 107.5/Wilmington, NC
KDUR 91.9/Durango, CO
1310 KTCK/Dallas, TX
100.3 Wild FM/Dallas, TX
98.3 FM/Fort Hays, Kansas

Set List

We can perform up to two hours but prefer a single one-hour set.