Id Life Crisis

Id Life Crisis

BandRockPop

A nerd fronting an otherwise all-girl pop-punk rock and roll band that will make you feel awesome!

Biography

We are an upbeat band bringing punky excitement directly to your pants! Crowds at our shows have tons of dancing, heaps of fun, and more sexy people than you can shake a stick at! We jump around, shake the booty, and distort the guitars for a shiny, spicy rock show, but don't show our lyrics to your momma! Our tunes are catchy, we work hard to put on a great, friendly show, not too much jibber jab, because it takes time away from our songs!

Influences:
LAMBERT:
"Greenday, The Monkees, Outkast"
STEPH:
"Weezer, Social D, NOFX"
CORBY:
"Guyora Kats, Ben Folds, Joe Jackson"
AILENE:
"Harry Belafonte, Juliana Hatfield, Erykah Badu"
ADRIANE:
"The Beatles...................."
and RU:
"Madonna, Eminem, Scissor Sisters"

Lyrics

I'm the Kind of Nerd Who Gets the Smoking Hot Girl

Written By: B. Payne

Lambert Jack -- Lead Vocals, Acoustic Guitar, Stephanie Chandra -- Electric Guitar, Back Vocals, Corby Stutzman -- Keyboards, Sounds, Back Vocals, Ailene Quan -- Back Vocals, Adriane Palikat -- Drums, Bass, Back Vocals, Ru Bhatt -- "Live Long and Prosper"

Dungeon-Dragon dude dodecahedron dice
Rolling with a plus-one mace
Vulcan fanfic, phaser in my fanny pack
Silver makeup on my face

Comic book convention costume Captain Cold
LARPing, sneezing, self-haircut
Tuck my sweater in my Dockers, marching band
Hack the DOD, now what?

You can call me a geek
'Cause I use L33T speak
You can call me a spaz
'Cause I like to play jazz... flute

You can call me a loser
'Cause I'm an open source user
Yeah, go call me a nerrrrrrd

Chorus
Because I'm the kind of nerd
Who gets the smoking hot girl
Maybe you haven't heard
I got the smoking hot girl
Yeah I'm the kind of nerrrrrd
Who gets the smoking hot girl

You can't believe that it happened
I'm giving her all she's got, cap'n
[Live Long and Prosper]

Nerds don't check out other girls when dancing with you
Nerds aren't obsessed with porn
Nerds don't put you down so they can lift you back up
Nerds will always stay 'til morn

Nerds don't drink until they're shouting, fighting, or sick
The nerds know right from wrong
Nerds won't ditch you for the boys night out at Scores
The nerds ask if you'll come along

You can call me lame
'Cause I multi-play games
You can call me a dork
'Cause I like to fight orcs
You can call me a square
I've got cowlicky hair
Yeah, go call me a nerrrrrrd

Chorus

You can't believe that I got her
But she's turned on by Harry Potter
(That's a book. And a look.) [Woo!]

H. Howard Hunt, Henry Kissinger
Kasey Kasem, Fred Thompson
Rick Okasek, Steven Hawkings, Billy Joel
Lyle Lovett, Howard Stern

Steven Spielberg, Clarence Thomas, Larry King
Albert Einstein, Alger Hiss
Salman Rushdie, Boris Spassky, Kim Jong Il
Bill Gates, Ellen DeGeneris

Chorus

[He's got no game ] My game is Dungeons and Dragons
[His moves are lame] I dance like Richard Simmons
[Got no a cool car] I ride my bicycle to work
[Wardrobe sub par] What's wrong with pleated Dockers?

I like robotics [It's so erotic]
In baseball I bunt it [You make me want it]
I've studied neon [That turns me on]
I read a lot [That gets me hot]

And I try not to be dumb [I think I'm gonna come and get you]
Bustin’ makes me feel good!

Legs forever, curves like water, long dark hair
Walking with a runway stride
She’s game for going wall to wall or TV night
She has my back and by my side

She’s sharp as cheddar, tough as leather, don't take s
She's dressed better than Heidi Klum

She’s smarter than the whole library in your town
Turn the light off, boom boom boom

[Because I'm the kind of girl
Who gets the smoking hot nerd]
Maybe you haven't heard
[I got the smoking hot nerd]
Yeah I'm the kind of nerrrrrd

See you at the fifteen year reunion.
You might point, but you won't be laughing

Chorus

Mr. Right Now

Written By: A. Quan with B. Payne

Stephanie Chandra -- Lead Vocals, Electric Guitar, Ailene Quan -- Back Vocals, Corby Stutzman -- Keyboards, Sounds, Back Vocals, Adriane Palikat -- Drums, Back Vocals, Lambert Jack -- Acoustic Guitar, Back Vocals, Dr. X -- Bass
Oh Mister
You're very smart and sweet
You laugh at half my jokes
You call me every day

Know my favorite flower
Listen to what I say
Text me every hour
Just know I'll never stay

My body has some questions
That need to be addressed
I just have just one request
Please stop f-ing talking so I can get undressed

Chorus
[Mr. Right Now] You're just a sweet distraction
[Mr. Right Now] A physical interaction
[Mr. Right Now] You're making all the right moves
Mr. Right Now Mr. Right Now

[Mr. Right Now] I may or may not call
[Mr. Right Now] You’ve got a part in it all
[Mr. Right Now] It’s just that you’re not him
You’re Mr. Right Now, Mr. Right Now

My heart belongs to someone else
He's taken my intentions
Too many hours of the day
I ache for his attention

He's busy loving someone else
He's vexed with her reactions
And I can't sit here waiting
Obsessed with this attraction

My body wrote some letters
That needed to be addressed
I just have one request
Please stop f-ing talking so I can get undressed

Chorus

When you catch me look into the distance
All I see is him
And you help me push away the longing
Right now

Chorus

Why can’t you be him
It’s just that you’re not him
You’re Mr. Right Now

Wake Up, Natalie

Written By: B. Payne

Lambert Jack -- Lead Vocals, Acoustic Guitar, Stephanie Chandra -- Electric Guitar, Back Vocals, Corby Stutzman -- Keyboards, Back Vocals, Ailene Quan -- Back Vocals, Adriane Palikat -- Drums, Back Vocals, Dr. X -- Bass
Natalie was tough
Kevin made her warm
Kisses up her back
Fingers down her arm

They would walk around the town
Love into the dawn
She started shutting down
No one knew what’s wrong

He fell in love as she slipped into darkness
He’s in deep
But she's in too deep

Chorus
Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, Natalie
Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, Natalie
Wake up, wake up, Kevin wants to stay
Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, Natalie
Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, Natalie
Wake up, wake up before he goes away

Kevin talks for hours
Waiting by her bed
Staring at machines
Beeping by her head

He sees life in her eyes
Wishes she would speak
Hopes she'll come to life
Kisses on her cheek

Kevin fell in love with a woman in a coma
She can't show
So he can't know

Chorus

Touch his shoulder as you walk by
Hold and reminisce with him
Look at him and smile
Kiss him

Chorus

Just take his hand, please take his hand
Worshipping the ground she hovers over

Wake up!

I Need A Bad Man

Written By: B. Payne with A. Palikat

Ailene Quan -- Lead Vocals, Corby Stutzman -- Keyboards, Back Vocals, Adriane Palikat -- Bass, Back Vocals, Lambert Jack -- Back Vocals, Acoustic Guitar, Stephanie Chandra -- Drums
I like a good wine
I like a good meal
I like to have a good time
With a shot of tequila

There's a lot of good, good, good that I like
But one thing I go to that's no good at all
To make me come when called
My downfall

Chorus
I like a bad man [bad man]
A bad man [bad man]
Bad bad bad [bad man]
Maaaaan
I need a bad man [bad man]
A bad man [bad man]
Ooooh, a bad bad [bad man]
Man

I like a good laugh
I deserve a good life
I'm on the right path
I ought to be treated right

I get a lot of good, good, good advice
My momma wish I would take it
But nice boys make me fake it
I got to get naked
For a...

Chorus

Catting around
Cutting me down
Making me crazy just to see his face

Smack and a shout
Kicking me out
But I just can't get away

Anyone can make a good, good, good boy squeal
I want to crack a smile from the dark
A tear from a stone
And a soft soft moan
From a…

Chorus

Catting around
Cutting me down
Smack and a shout
Kicking me out
Is what I’m all about

Hope It Don't End (Like All the Others)

Written By: C. Stutzman

Corby Stutzman -- Lead Vocals, Keyboards, Lambert Jack -- Acoustic Guitar, Back Vocals, Stephanie Chandra -- Electric Guitar, Back Vocals, Adriane Palikat -- Drums, Back Vocals, Ailene Quan -- Back Vocals, Bass

Went thinkin’ about what life should be
Went thinkin’ about that again
Went thinkin’ about what I could be
Obsessed about that again

I’m just travellin’ on a highway
That’s so much like a trail
Going fast and getting dirty
And hopin’ I’ll find an end.

Here you stand before me
Seems like you’d like to know me
I’m flawed but I’ll be fine I think
This time

Chorus
Let’s start this romance and then
You’ll be my lover my friend
We’ll have some good times and then
I'll hope it don't end
Hope it don't end
I hope it don't end
Like all the others.

Got empty bottles of red wine
Here with us in the kitchen
With our messed up hearts and our mislead minds
I feel your pain hope you feel mine.

I consider what I want to give
Moreso what I should
And how much can I reveal
Without feelin’ too much shame

Here I stand before you
Seems like I’d like to know you
I’m flawed but you’re so fine
I’ll make you mine
Chorus

That Text Message Was Not Meant 4U

Written By: B. Payne

Stephanie Chandra -- Electric Guitar, Lead Vocals; Ailene Quan -- Back Vocals, Bass; Corby Stutzman -- Keyboards, Sounds, Back Vocals; Adriane Palikat -- Drums, Back Vocals; Lambert Jack -- Acoustic Guitar, Back Vocals

My text message said LOL
Thinking about the fun we had
And OMG the things we saw
My text said we should do it again

All of what I texted was true
I had not expected to hear back
From you

Chorus
O is not my god
And I am not laughing out loud,
Because that text message was not meant 4U

We used to ROFL
Not so much any more
My PM was meant for him
May as well get it over with now

I would have told you F2F
But its how I made this mess
So I will tell you
by text

Chorus

I do not wish you were my M8
You do not have my less than three
I do not want to see you L8R
I K you're not the man for me

I no longer LYSO
IMHO my mistake
Let me know

You make me feel like
Greater than
Colon
Hyphen
Left paren

Maybe I have qq
But I have lost my L
4U

Chorus

That text message was not meant 4U
CHA CHA CHA

Let's Get Drunk (and Make Some Bad Decisions)

Written By: B. Payne

Corby Stutzman -- Lead Vocals, Keyboards; Lambert Jack -- Lead Vocals, Acoustic Guitar; Stephanie Chandra -- Electric Guitar, Back Vocals; Adriane Palikat -- Drums, Back Vocals, Ailene Quan -- Back Vocals, Bass; Ru Bhatt -- Back Vocals

I get here
And you're here again
When you're near I can't
Get as near to you as I want to

'Cause you
Got someone who
Calls you her own
And it holds me back from what I want to say to you

I been burned by guys unsure
If what she's got is so strong why are you still hanging ‘round

But I can't wait until you get it straight
I ain't the kind of woman who lets caution get me down

Chorus
Let's get drunk and make some bad decisions
Make mine a double, 'til I've got double vision
I keep my s together all week long
I want to get right down to getting wrong
With you

I'm at the bar
Where you are
I might be free
But I don't think I'm ready yet

‘Til I look at you
And you look amused
That I get confused
When I see your smile and your legs

You've got a shot if I've had a shot
A little bit of liquor knocks my judgment to its knees

Hey, bartender, help me please
Three tequilas neat and would you take my car keys

Chorus

Tell your boss to f off
Drunk dial your ex
Draw on your face with a sharpie
Vote for Mike Huckabee

Throw a beer at the bouncer
A thirty-two ouncer
And then go home to bed
Together

If I get you to come then maybe you’ll stay
You might be taken but I'm taking you away

I want you more than for messing around
My heart will hurt tomorrow, better drink right now

Chorus

If I go with you then I throw it all away
But each drink lets me hear more what your body has to say

I gotta know what I been missing
You probably shouldn't sing this, ‘cause I think the woman's listening

Chorus

Let's get drunk and make some baaaad decisions
CHA CHA CHA

I Want A Threesome

Written By: B. Payne

Lambert Jack -- Lead Vocals, Acoustic Guitar; Stephanie Chandra -- Electric Guitar, Back Vocals; Corby Stutzman -- Keyboards, Back Vocals; Ailene Quan -- Bass, Back Vocals; Adriane Palikat -- Drums

Got a hot girlfriend
Apartment and a dog
From a good family
Got my health and a job

Hit the Crif Dog restaurant
Rocking these jeans
I get to walk around downtown
With a pocket full of beans

I'm lucky on a lot of great stuff
But it just ain't quite e nough
The stories I've heard I want to see some

Chorus
I want a threesome [Laa laa la-laa la-laa laa]
Get me under the covers with multiple lovers
I want to swap kisses with two misses
If you can't say yes right now I'll settle for maybes
I've been waiting since the eighties to get with two ladies

[Three got the beat
]
Come on baby, let's go for three
Pick a hot one to bring home to me
Jump in and – go down
Round and round and round! [Whooooo!]

I'm a ninety-nine percent happy guy
But I need to try one thing before I die
Everybody else gets their fantasies, I want to get me some…

Chorus
I want a threesome [Laa laa la-laa la-laa laa]
Don't think I'm kidding just 'cause I'm singing
If you don't feel it have more tequila
I don't love you less I just want four breasts
I want to get bed head with you and a redhead

I feel guilty even asking, don't want you to take this wrong
That's why I had to put it in a rock and roll song
It isn't cheating if you're here
Yeah, yea-eah
[THREEDOM] I let you go down
[THREEDOM] You'll let her get me up
[THREEDOM] Got to let that love go around
[THREEDOM] You get to give it while you take

I swear I'll only ask for it once… a year
I got a birthday coming soon
I'll stay with you for ever and ever
If you bring a hot chick in to our bedroom

Just like Audrey Meadows, Joyce Randolph and Jackie Gleason

Chorus
I want a threesome [Laa laa la-laa la-laa laa]
Wanna get crazy, maybe you me and Daisy
Wanna get dirty with you me and Gertie
Tell me you aren’t attracted to Lauren
Let’s get hot and sweaty, you me and Betty
I know that you wanna get down with Donna
Baby, I’m beggin’! Let’s begin with Megan
Maybe me and you and that girl too.
If it’s a “no way” then how ‘bout some role-play…
I want a threesome
CHA-CHA-CHA

This Is The Song I Will Try To Seduce You To

Written By: B. Payne


Chorus
This is the song I will try to seduce you to
This is the song I will make you mine
This is the song I will pry you loose to
You come with me and leave him behind

This is the song I will try to seduce you to
This is the song I will make you mine
This is the song if you know what's good for you
You'll turn to me by three thirty nine

The rest of this is a rap. Ru does it

Verse 1
Look at you, creeping across the room
Deep into the tune
Sweeping like a broom
I wanna clean you up

But you're here, here with your hand up on another man
Got to cook up a Casanova plan
Invade you on the ground Afghanistan
Mix your pale with my tan

Like two great tastes go together
I'll put it in a wrapper give it sweeter and better
Seen you here since senior year
Bet you balled got a varsity letter

You couldn't know who I am when I'm home
What I'm like when we're out and alone
Got a job and a dollar and I drive an Impala
And I know how to lead and I know how to follow

I've seen you around and I think I want to keep you
And get myself in deep you
So my only choice make this song my voice

I could dance all night and dance all day
And play it how the game is played
And just play it like I want to get laid
Which I do, too, so

Chorus 2

Verse 2
I like the way you dance, I'm going to take a chance
Slowly going over all your evidence
Next thing on my docket is to
Get my hand in your pants pocket

I'll turn you around on the floor, leave you wanting more
Until we head for the door at four
You turn me on 'till I'm electric like a key-kite
Put the plug in and change your colors like a Lite-Brite

Take some time to get to know me better then
SMS your mamma and text her that you met a ten
President Obama is next up on your list
And you’d swear to the chief you got high from the first kiss

I'll show you the keys to my apartment
And give the second lesson on what “I think you’re hot” meant
When you hear the thunder you can go under my pitch tent
You won't need to wonder where your keys and your drawers went

Its dark in here but you see
You’re better off seeing him off and being seen with me
NASA never saw a rocket like this one
Let me start counting down four three two one

That other man, this is only a test
I can climb you like Mount Everest
Open your vest and show me your chest
I'll take you home and take the rest
Tonight
(to chorus)

Chorus 3

Bridge
Ooooh, you'll come to me
You'll come to me
You'll come to me
Oooooh, I'll come to you

Ooh and up and side to side

Ooh and up and front to back

Can I Borrow Your Boyfriend

Written By: B. Payne

A. Quan: Vocals, Bass

I see your man looking good
And treating you better (CH: better)
Things have gotten cold my way
And he's tasty in his sweater (CH: sweat.. ah)

On other days I'd hit the places
All the ready boys do
But I don't want to make the old mistakes
I want something new

Chorus
C-Can I borrow your boyfriend
Would you let him treeeeat meeee riight
For a week or a weekend
Or m-m-maybe for juuuuust toooooonight

C-Can I borrow your boyfriend
Would you let him hoooold myyy hand
Change the bulb in my bedrooooom
I'm hoping you'll understand
Can I borrow your boyfriend

Pretty and broke and mean or stoned
Is my usual man
And I give it up, and they never call
Unless it's 2am

I always pick the wrong guys
You seem to pick them right
I don't trust myself to choose
Can I have yours tonight (for now/for a while)

Chorus

I sat on the sidelines for a little bit
But I'm starting to feel the itch again
I'm lonely
Hungry
Horny
Alone on the couch
Not getting enough drama from We TV
I know pretty soon I'm just gonna step out
Can I take your man with me?

It won't be awkward later
I swear you won't be embarassed
Don't want to steal him, just want the feeling
Plus he's so sweet-assed! Yeah yeah yeah!

Chorus

Discography

We just released our shiny new album FIRST CONFECTION. We're in the studio now recording our second album, which will blast to the stars mid-2010!

Set List

Our typical sets are 45 minutes, no covers, usually 11 songs and an encore. A typical set:

I'm the Kind of Nerd Who Gets the Smoking Hot Girl (pop-punky Lambert vocal)

Mr. Right Now (pop-punky Steph vocal)

Let's Get Drunk (roadhouse Lambert/Corby duet)

This Is The Song I Will Try To Seduce You To (pop Lambert/Ru vocals)

That Text Message Was Not Meant 4U (pop-pounk Steph vocal)

I Need A Bad Man (blues rock ballad Adriane vocals)

Waiting (punk Lambert vocals)

Big Black Cadillac (driving blues rock Adriane vocals)

Can I Borrow Your Boyfriend (pop-punk Ailene vocals)

Wake Up, Natalie (pop-rock Lambert vocal)

Hope it Don't End (Like All the Others (pop-rock Corby vocal)

I Want A Threesome (pop-punk Lambert vocal)