Infinite Apaches
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Infinite Apaches

Houston, Texas, United States | SELF

Houston, Texas, United States | SELF
Band Rock Country


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Before my brain could settle into the "critic zone" necessary to evaluate the musical performance, I had to process the sight of a fella who looked a hell of a lot like Corey Glover grasping his crotch in time to the music with a ferocity I haven't seen since the shoe-bashing at the Fidros Square statue destruction. I began to notice that downstairs wasn't just a different show, it was a different life. I can't imagine a world where a casual attendee would be here to see both of these bands.
"Feels like a Desperate Teenage Lovedolls band." Did I write this because they look like Red Kross? Wait no, there's more. I was into it. They "take the 'anyone can do it' aesthetic of punk and apply it to stoner blues a la a revved-up Blue Cheer."

But there was something odd at play. Almost as though they were trying their hands at being two different bands. Was my mind fooling me? One moment they were reenacting that time that Jack White pretended to be in Pink Floyd, and the next they were droning mope-pop in a dark Brooklyn warehouse time machine straight out of 2008.

Deep Cuts
Though I enjoyed both ends of the Apaches' style spectrum, I preferred the stuff that sounded like darkwave-by-way-of-Motown, which I don't think they set out to do intentionally but I'll take either way. On the heavier numbers I noted that the bass lines both went right up to the line of being too funky but broke just at the limit and that "I imagine moms probably get really horny to {them]."
And at one point they must have played something that reminded me of both Santana and ska at the same time, which drove me to make a list of local '90s ska bands that also got "too funky" at times (Ground Turkey, Middlefinger, The Mod Squad). And finally, because I enjoy comedy, a call back to "moms' tits."
- Houston Press

If you are you are looking for one of those “bands to watch in 2013,” Infinite Apaches should be on that list. Their upcoming album, Suave Creation of the Monolithic Other, crackles with a nervous, tripped-out energy that keeps on foot in Nuggets realm of 60’s garage but manages to keep the other foot in with the modern noisy throat throttling of bands you can find on labels like Goner or In the Red. Stephen Burton (Vocals & Rhythm) and Carl Von Rond (Guitar) started the band back in 2010. The pair went through “a weird phase with drummers” and eventually welcomed Lou Miller (bass), Will Harrison (keyboards), and Josh Blue (percussion) into their ranks. I entered their metal shed on the east end and it was apparent that they are one of those bands that function inside their own perfectly crafted universe and somewhere in our conversation they make a confession about my invading that space.
Stephen – We thought you were gonna be some kind of asshole Fox reporter or something so we wanted to find a friend who could wear a goat mask and she would sit in the middle and answer all of our questions as a proxy while we’d all lie in some Sri Lankan, Seven Heads formation.
Wow! Can we have a redo?!!! OK, tell me about the Bandcamp recordings.
Lou – The first recordings, the Capistran Tapes, are just a drummer, Carl, and Steve.
Carl - [The drummer] didn’t even know the parts because he came in right as we were recording it. [When Lou joined] he really directed the songwriting because we were just flying by the seat of our pants.
Lou –That second recording is with Will [at Rudyard’s]. We were friends with Will and we’d jammed with him a few times so we let him play a few shows with us – all largely unrehearsed so he has no idea what he is doing; he’s winging it the whole way.
Carl – Oh, he knew what he was doing. He just wants you to think he didn’t. Will’s always locked-on.
Lou– After that, we asked him to [join] and he helped us find Josh.
Where is the band headed?
Carl – Wherever Josh wants! The lord said, “Here’s your percussionist; he’ll tie-up every loose-end you ever have!”
Stephen - Can you put in the paper that Josh is slowly caressing Magdalene? [Maggie and Reggie are their dogs]
What about shows?
Stephen– (whispering) mention the Crocodiles.
Who are the crocodiles?
Carl – (laughing) He’s just in love with that girl…
Stephen – But she remembered me. She remembered me when they were breaking down after their set… I was talking to her and …I could tell, (with a sly smile) I could tell she remembered me. She knew who I was. (laughs).
What about songwriting?
Lou – It starts with one person and we add to it. When I joined, it was Carl and Stephen writing, then I started writing, and then Will and Josh joined. I’ve been trying to get everyone to contribute. Everyone has to write; it’s a requirement.
Stephen – It’s Lou’s Law
Ever start working on something only to realize it’s garbage?
Stephen – Absolutely! Carl is really judgmental about songs…
Carl – Oh yeah, I hate songs! I got some deep hate for some songs!
Stephen -…but he’s wearing a see-through shirt so we can’t take his opinion on too many things…you can see his nipples!
Any plans?
Carl – We’re going to release [the album] ourselves and shop it around but what we really want is land.
Lou –70 acres …six buildings… everyone has their own house and the last one would be a studio.
Carl – I think we’re gonna get a hotline soon. Someone is always here so if you wanna call the warehouse, you can just call us.
Would y’all do shifts?
Carl – It doesn’t have to be like that… An answering machine might be cool.
Lou – Then, if you’re in the mood, you can answer the phone anyways. “Hi, Infinite Apaches hotline. This is Lou. How may I help you?”
What’s with the covers?
Stephen – It’s Dutch porn from the 70’s! They’re fantastic photos!
Lou – It’s the best furniture! I mean if you are supposed to compliment porn on furniture, Dutch porn is the only porn!
What about the upcoming album?
Lou – We want to help the guy who helped produce this album – Kevin Skrla– he’s a great musician. Me, him and Josh worked on it. The neighbor, Morgan, was trying to put together a studio and he had an 8-track, a board, and was waiting for someone to buy cables, mics, and monitors so I got all this studio gear. He helped at the beginning but bowed out during the recording. His partner, Kevin Skrla, and I finished everything. We hope to have the record ready by March and we’ll tour after. We’re just counting the days until we don’t have to work a day job.
Carl – Yeah, I just want to live and do this.
- Free Press Houston


The Capistran Tapes (E.P.), The Rudyards Sessions (Live Performance), Suave Creation of the Monolithic Other



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