Jenn Hyjack

Jenn Hyjack

 Buffalo, New York, USA
BandComedy

Jenn is a hilarious musical comedy performer who has been described as Adam Sandler-esque.

Biography

Jenn is a hilarious musical comedy performer who has been described as part Courtney Love, but classier part Weird Al, but prettier! She first performed her original tunes in the NYC based sketch troupes, Hits Like A Girl and MOUTH. She then created her own act and took it to the comedy club circuit - just Jenn, her guitar and a touch of Brooklyn attitude. She recently acted and performed her songs in the independent feature film, Stand Ups, and also performed at the 2004 Boston Comedy Festival. Jenn is also half of the angriest girl band ever, Dirty Jesus, and in collaboration with playwright Elizabeth Gutterman, Jenn wrote the music for the title song of her play, Becoming. You can hear Jenns sultry voice on radio commercials and on MTV announcing all the hot show info for Spring Break and more. Jenns creative desire to be involved in every area of the entertainment business has made a big impression on colleges, clubs and talent scouts around the country.

Lyrics

Deli Guys

Written By: Jenn Hyjack

I don't like subways that smell like urine
I don't like dog doo on my shoes
I don't like tripping in front of a bunch of people
And guess what else? I don't like you
You know you are...
Your wife beaters can't cover your big beer bellies
I hate you guys that hang out in front of the deli
You hang out there all day long
There must be something wrong
Why don't you get a hobby or a job?
Yeah, I mean you you fat sweaty slobs
I know I'm fascinating to stare at
But it's rude and you don't care that
I know what you say in Spanish about me
You loser men that hang out in front of the deli
In the springtime, you bring out your folding chairs
And all the women on Smith Street, they feel your pitbull glares
You block the sidewalk, you speak too loudly, you are so lazy, you drive me crazy
I don't like when you feed all the pigeons on the corner
I don't like when you're in my fuckin' way
I don't like when you comment when I change outfits
Cause sometimes I do 3 or 4 times a day
You know you are
All the items you sell are made by Ortega
No me gustan los hombres that hang out
En frente de la bodega
Yeah, I hate ya
I hate, I hate ya
Now please just go away now thank you

Michael Landon

Written By: Jenn Hyjack

I love my father, he's so great
There's really no one quite like him
He tells lots of funny jokes
He taught me how to ride a bike and
I wouldn't trade him for the world
He's the only father I've ever had
But growing up I wished for just a little while
That Michael Landon could be my Dad
I'd call him "Pa" he'd call me "Halfpint"
I'd run my fingers through his wavy hair
Just me and my handsome Dad
On our Little House on the Prair
I'd cook him dinner after a long day on the farm
Then fall asleep in his big strong arms
Is havin' a crush on your Pa so bad?
I wish Michael Landon could be my Dad
Oh no, not Mr. Drummond from Different Strokes
He was way too old
But on the other hand, he was really rich
And a penthouse is much warmer than a log cabin when it gets real cold
Me and my new Dad, Charles Ingalls would've been the biggest hit in all of Walnut Grove
But I think my love for him would've been a sin
Cause I don't think your Dad can be your betrothed
Oh no not, Mike Brady from the Brady Bunch
He was so square as they would say
But he must've been a pretty good actor
Cause no one knew that he was GAY
Oh, oh, oh, CHARLES INGALLS
He played a mean fiddle and was really rad
He was proud and good and went to church on Sundays
And I always wished that he could be my Dad

This Job is Stupid

Written By: Jenn Hyjack

This job is so stupid
I don't care about it
But I'm good actress
So I can pretend like I do
Because I need money
to fill my belly and mail out headshots
Otherwise I'd tell you to go screw yourself
You make me go to meetings
But I can't hear what anyone's saying
Because they're all so stupid
I have to shut my ears down
Then I start to daydream
that I punch everyone in the face
and then I get to go home early
cause they're all on the ground
passed out
No I don't wanna have a drink after work
I've had to see your ugly ass all day
I just want to pretend for a while
That you don't exist
I'm just here for the paycheck
I don't want to be your best friend
And if you ever call my home number
I'll be really pissed
And I have caller ID
This job is so stupid
And I won't get stuck here
Like all of you lame asses
You've been here for eternity
Just gimme my money
Cause I got shit to do
And when I'm famous
You can say you knew me
And get lots of money from tabloids for telling terrible lies about me