Jimmy Philip Pillar

Howdy!

It's been a while for me since I've written anything musical. Grew up playing music in garage bands and local bars before there was the internets. Imitated my heros, quite well actually. Wrote and co-wrote back in the day but it was always at, for the lack of a better term, at my expense or to please someone or something. In other words; tried to make the music and the lyrics for that matter fit into a pre-defined what-do-we-hear-on-the-radio and can-we-keep-it-under-3:30? Read books, and listened to so called authorities and A&R people in the business. Needless to say the music was, how shall I put this.....forced, not natural. After many years of this, with countless band member changes, egos etc; I gave up writing and performing but not playing.

I can clearly remember practicing at "the loft", which was a condemed building across the street from the Capitol Theater in Passaic NJ. There were about 15 bands up there back in the day. Our room faced Central Ave, which ran along side Monroe Street which was the front entrance to the theater. On concert nights we'd play louder and try to get the attention of the acts as the tour buses drove beneath our room. To pay the $50 per month rent (still don't know how we got away with this), we'd haul our gear across the street to Happy's Bar. It was a dive but it was our dive. All the bands up there played there. We'd made about $10 to $20 a piece after the $50 rent. On the way to rehearsal from Wallington, I always made it a point to drive past Passaic High School because that's where the Shirelles performed and rehearsed. Yes, I do remember the roots of rock music. And I remember that awful day when Lennon was executed. I cried. Called no one, drove past Passaic High School, parked on Central Ave and saw everyone who was anyone at the loft. No one picked up a guitar or sang a note that night. We listened to Beatles albums on vinyl into the wee hours of the morning and either slept there or drove home. I don't really recall that part. The marquee at the Capitol Theater read "Shine On 1940-1980". It was really cold that day and eerily quiet on the street. Despite all of this, those days are some of the fondest in my time. New Jersey was a mecca for bar bands when the drinking age was 18. So I do really feel that I am a part of musical history in my own bizzare thought process.

Sitting at the piano one evening a few months ago, decided for whatever reason to write my wife a song. After some 25 years, what does one person say to the other? I love you, you love me...la da da dee da. No, I won't do that to her, she's nice and not easily impressed being a musican herself. What I did do, is write something not terribly prolific but honest. Didn't care how long the song was, didn't care if the words were wrong, didn't care if she liked it or not. Certainly do not mean that in a mean spirited way, just wanted it to be an honest musical statement to a woman I've been with so long and one I don't deserve.

Made a rough copy of it and gave her the CD. As she was listening to it, she folded her arms and blinked a few times. After it was finished she took the headphones off and gently put them down and said "that's interesting-thank you, Jim". She also said I sounded like a lounge singer in that recording. My kids agreed.

So I polished the song and re-recorded it (it's not on this CD, "Don't Give Up On Love"). She said try it with just an acoustic guitar. So I did. She liked that better.

So I started to think about the people that came in and out of my life and decided to write honest mustical statements about what had transpired. If I hurt you, I'm sorry. If you hurt me, it's hurts. If I've wronged you, I'm sorry, please, I beg your pardon. Once I took music from this point of view the songs started to flow almost effortlessly. Wow, after all this time, all I had to do was be honest with myself, honest with the past, honest period.

I'm writing a novel so better stop here. But if these songs touch you or if you can relate to the scenario, please let me know. If you don't like the song, let me know. If there's something you'd like to hear written or sung about, let me know. This can be interactive and really good for the soul and all involved.

Thank you for your time. I wish you peace and all of the love in the world.

Don't give up on love,

Jimmy Pillar