
John Lawrence
Other Info
- Cover band:
- No
Lyrics
The Perfect Couple
Written By: John Lawrence
Intro:
Of all the couples I have known
Only one true love has shown
For their love is a truly wondrous feat
She is hideous, he's no beaut
She's a tyrant, he's a brute
Yet they're the happiest couple that you'll meet
Chorus:
She was looking for a Lancelot
Instead she found a drunken sot
But it was true love at first sight
He loved beauties, tall and thin
She's short and fat and ugly as sin
But he was struck with her that night
The wedding ring was made of quartz
Honeymoon in Rome, Rome, New York
But still they're like two turtledoves
Tell me what could be sweeter
Than seeing two bottom-feeders
Hopelessly, entirely in love
It's a match made in heaven above
He don't trip the light fantastic
Her nose is less than classic.
But they're as happy as can be
She loves to shop, but they are broke
She's asthmatic, yet he smokes
But they live in perfect harmony
She gives sex like a nun
He is weighed in metric tons
But they've submitted to love's cries
She's hairy as Samson, he's bald as a coot
And yet their love is absolute
They cannot be too over-wise
For each is perfect in the other's eyes
Her bouquet is quite horrific
His forehead is Neolithic
Yet there are no two happier
He's as monogamous as a Mormon
She's as lovely as a Gorgon
They are a perfect him and her
She looks like Whistler's ma
He's more spotted than a Seurat
Oh, their love is a work of art
This proves the saying is a fact
That opposites can attract
When they're of two minds but just one heart
For nothing could, these lovers part
For they were struck by Cupid's dart