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Song Entry Info
Song Name: All Of Us
Writer(s): Jon Lehti
Category:
Country
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Song Critique
Melody
Is the VERSE melody interesting and memorable? Not Applicable
Is the CHORUS melody interesting and memorable? Not Applicable
Is there enough contrast between verse and chorus melodies? Not Applicable
Is the overall melody easy for the listener to follow? Not Applicable
Melody Comments:
A well written melody - not too difficult to sing, yet made meaningful by the skillful use of interesting chords throughout. The relative minor chord (on the word: "us") at the end of the verse is perfect, making us immediately sense that this is a serious song. . . and indeed: it IS! We wouldn't recommend changing anything about this excellent melody. Good song craft, Jon.
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Lyric
Does the lyric begin with an interesting first line? Yes
Does the lyric say something in a new and interesting way? Yes
Does the lyric make the the listener feel emotion? Yes
Is the lyric easy to understand? Exceptionally
Does the lyric work well with the melody? Yes
Lyric Comments:
Lyrically, this tells a story about the singer (and the rest of his clan) as much as it does about the subjecdt ones he is singing to. This is a very moving tribute to ones parents, one that hits home in all of our hearts. We suspect that any casual listener will be moved emotionally by this when hearing the lyrics. There is one slight thing which we would recommend that you change, however: in chorus 1, you are seemingly singing TO your parents (who have presumably already passed on), but in chorus 2,you ask: "How will you feel at the end of your life?" - Here, because of the word "will", we suspect that you must be asking this of yourselves, and if that is the case, we suggest that you use this phrase instead: "How will WE feel at the end of our lives?" It is important in songs to keep who we are singing to very clear, so the listener doesn't pause to ponder just who is the "you" in each line. It is difficult to not use the "collective YOU" at times, but that is why publishers & record programmers take such a close look at most songs these days . . . to catch these seemingly little things which could cause their listeners to be confused. Other than that, you've rendered this sentiment very nicely.
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Structure
Does the intro build interest in the song? Yes
Does the structure keep the listener's interest? Yes
Do the different sections of the song fit together well? Yes
Structure Comments:
Great structure - a classic structure (with instrumental solo in the middle), using the title creatively in ALL of the sections! Great job!
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Title
Does the title create interest in the song? Exceptionally
Is it the correct title for this song? Exceptionally
Title Comments:
We were curious as to what this title was refering to before listening to the song, or reading all of the lyrics . . . and it sure paid off! You've taken an exscellent, original title, and made the most of it. You've placed it throughout the song (in every section, in fact) where it would make the most impact. And when we refer to "IMPACT", we mean in the following ways: 1. Even the casual listener will hear this sxcellent song and immediately recognize "All OF US" as your title. 2. Your placement of it, meaning slightly deeper things as the song continues, has an emotional impact on every listener which makes them love it more as it goes on. 3. they will then wish to hear it again, and by KNOWING the title . . . they will ASK FOR IT, either at CD stores, on line, or when calling up radio stations because they MUST hear it again! You've got a good one here, Jon - and you should be proud! Now, we're curious as to what else you've written, and are looking forward to hearing more of your excellent song craft!
- UNISONG
Discography
Still working on that hot first release.
Photos
Feeling a bit camera shy
Bio
I am a 40-year veteran of the music business. I write songs but not prolifically. I really need to feel an emotional connection before I can create. My first submission, All Of Us, is a country-pop tune written for a family reunion after 2 elders of the family had passed on. Kind of a circle of life song that came about with the realization that love is indeed - everything.
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