Music
Press
Like something out of The Mangina Monologues, Ken Dahl, the blossom that sprouted up when Missy Elliot dropped her seed on one of Funheart Bear's ovaries, gives you a reason to be thankful that they don't make Rosetta Stone for your pussy. Because if your pussy could talk, it would either recite Forrest Gump's "Why don't you love me, Jenny?" speech to every man who comes to visit (Jennifer Love Hewitt's pussy, I'm talking about you) or it would recite Audrey II's "FEEEEEED ME, SEYMOUR!!!!" speech to every man who comes to visit (Parasite Hilton's pussy, I'm talking about you). So be thankful that you've all got the Helen Keller of pussies.
- D-LIisted
We don't know what it is, but we just LOVE songs about PUSSY!
Check out our latest AMAZEBALLS discovery, Ken Dahl, whose music video for the song If This Pussy Could Talk is…well, we think the title speaks for itself (above)!
Just darling! We're OBSESSED!
What do U think? What would your pussy say if it could talk?! - Perez Hilton
"Don’t tell him all them stories on how niggas broke your heart / Bitch it’s way too early, you gon’ end up scaring him off!”
If we all had a strand of hair to donate for each time we’ve said that to a friend, Naomi Campbell’s edges wouldn’t be in its current destitute condition. That’s why you’ve got to appreciate the ebony genius that is Ken Dahl for not only reiterating what should be obvious to everybody yet somehow isn’t but doing it over a twerk worthy beat.
Usually when an artist sends over a YouTube link to their music video my mind immediately goes into “Delete! Delete! Delete!” mode by default, but I’m wired totally different for the Dahl! Get you a piece, whore.
- Crunk & Disorderly
Discography
GPS (2012)
This album can be streamed at KensDahlHouse.com, and purchased on ITunes.
Photos
Bio
Born and raised in New York City by his traditionally religious grandmother, Ken Dahl found his passion for music in a pretty common place -- the church. But he discovered his talent in a pretty uncommon way -- during a suspension from school.
Although a bright student, Ken Dahl was a troublesome one. He often found himself in the dean's office, and eventually his behavior landed him an official suspension. His grandmother was infuriated, and took away all of Ken's treasured possessions as punishment.
There was no television, no radio, and absolutely no phone calls. Ken Dahl had only a sketch book and a pen to keep him company. First, he began drawing cartoons. Once that became mundane, he started writing. He wrote poetry, simple rhymes, but things that he felt deep inside. There was a need to express himself, and he found a way to do it.
Once the suspension ended, Ken Dahl didn't stop writing. Eventually, he developed songs. Using melodies to well-known songs, he replaced the lyrics with those of his own. The very first song he wrote, "Guide Me Dear Lord", impressed and touched his family. They found it hard to believe that he penned the lyrics himself.
Throughout the years, Ken Dahl experienced many things growing into his adulthood. He felt love, he felt heartbreak. Some days he felt amazing, and was bouncing off the walls. Other days felt as if a cloud had been cast right above his head.
After years of modeling his songs after other artist's songs, Ken Dahl finally decided he wanted to be completely honest and open with all of these experiences. He decided to put all of him on showcase for the world.
It turned out that the same personality that got him in big trouble as a kid -- loud, explicit, comedic, and brutally honest -- helped him develop his own identity as an artist.
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