K.Flay

K.Flay

BandHip Hop

K.Flay is a 21-year-old rapper who breathes AND spits fire. With a style as fresh as Johnsonville brats and a flow that defies gravity, she's ready to take the music world by storm. Suburban upbringing + 4 years of college + excess creativity = a vibe like no other. Who said white girls can't rap?

Biography

Hailing from suburban Chicago, K.Flay brings a funky fresh voice to the hip-hop world. Her songs range from stream-of-consciousness humor to high-energy head bangers to tracks that tackle misogyny in popular music. A recent Stanford University grad, this young artist has written, recorded, and produced over 40 songs, released a full-length album, and rocked crowds from California to the East Coast with her energetic live show. K.Flay's style is creative and innovative--her debut CD was hailed by the Stanford Daily: "it's different; it's daring; it's original; it's fun; it will challenge your perceptions about who can rap and what rap should be." Featured in URB Magazine's "Next 100" issue, K.Flay was tagged as a "rapgirl with a bad-ass style that comes straight from a feral and natural talent." Armed with dope beats and a vocabulary that would make Webster swoon, she plans to get feet tapping, brains thinking, and masses of fans begging for more.

Check out http://www.kflay.com or http://www.myspace.com/kflay for more K.Flay info.

Lyrics

Just Say No

Written By: Kristine Flaherty

You see I’m flowing, hot shit and that’s a fact
And all I’m blowing is smoke up in your ass
I’m never going to thugify my act
So la de da de da de da de da take that

Well Clipse they talk about crack
Shoveling snow, I did it in my back yard
Not coke, I’m a drug free rap star
And I don’t drive fast cars
Pimping in a Civic, yeah I’m with it
The hottest ride to drive
Takes me 20 seconds to go from 0 to 35
And my boyfriend’s got a silver Saturn I sense a pattern
Lame vehicles, I don’t take pills, Disneyland’s how I get my thrills
Steer clear of hallucinogenics
To get high I just do calisthenics
Jumping jacks likes injecting smack into my veins till my whole dang arm is black
Sipping OJ calcium plus vitamin D
A motherfucking g, you see
Don’t wanna end up like ODB, being a dope fiend don’t seem too dang rosy
Stay oxyclean in the name of my liver
Still I am ill and killing rhymes so listeners call me Jill the ripper

You see I’m flowing, hot shit and that’s a fact
And all I’m blowing is smoke up in your ass
I’m never going to thugify my act
So la de da de da de da de da take that

I’ve never seen Scarface
I’d piss my pants in a car chase, won’t drink hard A
Not up in the club exploiting that groupie love
Just because I haven’t had Hennessey
Not destined to be a weak mc
Constantly sober don’t own a range rover
Try to keep money on my mind but my mind’s on my homework
When it comes to dummy juice, I abstain
It’s a crying shame
Keak da Sneak and E-40 wouldn’t wanna chill with this shorty
They’d try to escort me out of the building saying I’m too boring
But they don’t know I’m hyphy off this juicebox full of Hi-C
Ballin but not like Jim Jones, my friend
No endo on my person, just gummy worms up in my hand
Though I bought my Nikes from TJ Maxx
For sixteen bucks off the discount rack
They’re tighter than your designer sneaks
And if you disagree, you can kiss my cheeks

You see I’m flowing, hot shit and that’s a fact
And all I’m blowing is smoke up in your ass
I’m never going to thugify my act
So la de da de da de da de da take that

Grass, reefer, skunk, dro,
Call it what you want but I just say no
Don’t mess with cannabis since folks like Janet Reno said I can’t have it
Plus weed is bad for your lungs
That’s the news, I’m Connie Chung
I once shot a shotgun at a clay pigeon but it was not fun
Too scared of weapons
I feel threatened when a supersoaker’s in my face
No gat on my lap, no nine in my car
No glock in my pocket, no tek on my waist
Just some white girl, though not made of powder, pale like clam chowder
But I’ll whip you into mayo like tornado running 80 miles an hour
What I am bringing is the funk you know
I grab my Prevacid and my Lactaid and I’m good to go
I’m the best though
Hold your nads in escrow, till mofos give me respect
May not be crunk, drunk, smoking blunts
But I’d definitely pass a urine test

You see I’m flowing, hot shit and that’s a fact
And all I’m blowing is smoke up in your ass
I’m never going to thugify my act
So la de da de da de da de da take that

I Rap Nice

Written By: Kristine Flaherty

My pet dog, he pees on the floor when he sees me
I’m dope, that’s for sheezy
Fresher than a newborn pre-me
Got OCD, please believe me
I eat cereal twice a day, trying to be the next Cassius Clay
Move like John Paxson, sting like a white Anglo Saxon
Even sing like Toni Braxton
I’m aiming for the apex
I stay flexed like the pecs in 50 Cent’s chest
Though I didn’t get shot nine times
I’m a badass and I run stop signs
Girl from the midwest bringing you the newest rap muzak in the U.S.
You just listened to the pinnacle of a breed of hip hop that’s not so typical
Smoking hot, a sassy bia
You’re looking for a dime I’m a Sacagawea
Growing up life seemed carefree
Now it’s like I’m walking on nails with my bare feet

What I am about
Is spitting every thought out through my mouth
Got a stream of consciousness
And I promise this is the bombest shit

My sound runs deeper than the streets so they call it sub-urban
Whiter than the snow snorted by Michael Irvin
High on life as I drive keep swerving
Me and my man DJ get hyped when we purchase items at a bargain price
Hunt for deals, eat gourmet meals, ride on top four Honda wheels
I’m set to invert the rap game
Give all the A&R’s back sprains
Meanwhile I’m still chilling back stage, feeling myself like Mac Dre
I rep the 847
Won’t stop rocking till the matzo leavens
Gefilte fish, I’m still convinced eating it made me just too legit
My cabeza will amaze ya, hi-tech like Sega
Not a hedge, I’m a bedhog, speedier than Sonic
I’ll get you hooked on me, fuck phonics

What I am about
Is spitting every thought out through my mouth
Got a stream of consciousness
And I promise this is the bombest shit

Hottest thing west of the Mississippi
Pick hella fights so hit me Britney
Get rich quick but I stay thrifty
When you type my name, use the shift key
I’m Gilgamesh reincarnate
Give CPR to the party, mush you into parfait
I don’t parlez francais, but voulez vous coucher?
Spit a chorus through my orifice
Everybody wanting more of this
You can’t afford to miss
I put the crowd in rigor mortis
So shocked you can’t even move your corpus
Of course it’s me
Weigh in at a buck twenty five
Crush little kiddies when I stage dive
Look out below, I’ll smash you like a pumpkin
Keeping the dorm rooms jumping jumping
Rapping’s what I came to do
Nothing’s what I need to prove
As a kid I wore my hair in a mushroom cut
And if you’re mean to my mom, then I’ll fuck you up

What I am about
Is spitting every thought out through my mouth
Got a stream of consciousness
And I promise this is the bombest shit

Cut To The Chase

Written By: Kristine Flaherty

I may not be the biggest or the mightiest
The hyphyest, the likeliest
Mike Tyson, you can bite this
Don't hustle but I flow a lot
Gotta know your ABC's if you wanna hit the g spot
The big bang, sickened by the Ying Yang twins
Let me fill you in
Now if I saw your dick I'd prolly vomit on it
Rather starve myself like it was Ramadan
Keep your dirty garments on
Chunks of puke up in your loot
The family jewels, upchuck
Whisper in my ear, maybe chomp but I won't suck
Give me the knife, give me the fork, give me the plate
And I'll digest misogynists like Dahmer ate his prey
I was kicking from the beginning, AKA Pele
Semi-automatic rapper, AK.Flay
I live thirty minutes north of Chicago
Leprechauns on my side got no need for the Lotto
Rep my roots wearing Birkenstock clogs
You can call me Kobayashi, I'll eat ten vats of hot dogs
Eating contest, me vs. Fat Joe, who you think would win?
Here's a hint: it's the one who's got sixteen chins
Let's spin

Cut to the chase
I got no time to waste
Minutes equal money, honey
So hush up like a puppy cause you know you love me
Cut to the chase
I got no time to waste
Minutes equal dollars, holler
Pop an implant, not my collar

Empirical fact that I could never get crunk
All I got is groceries up in my trunk
Supermarket sweep I could see you and me being sweet
Just about every day of the week
Punch you in your prostate cause I'm malicious
A club sandwich would be delicious
Too fast, too furious
I'm not a monkey named George but I sure am curious
Hot like curry is, no need to worry it's just snow flurries
The storm is on the border but I'm getting rather murderous
Bates Motel, I came from hell
Psycho on the inside, can't you tell?
Go to church try to eat Jeff Probst
Whoops, looks like I got the wrong host
So here's a toast to the folks in the place
Grab a drink, grab a glass, and then I grab your face
Rhinoplasty, collagen looks trashy
Flash em quicker than you look at K-Fed and say nasty
You can't get past me I'm the bouncer of this joint
Like a frickin ballerina, my shit's on point boy

Cut to the chase
I got no time to waste
Minutes equal money, honey
So hush up like a puppy cause you know you love me
Cut to the chase
I got no time to waste
Minutes equal dollars, holler
Pop an implant, not my collar

Can't let em fall asleep so switch it up CP
What I got is nothing more unadulterated, understated
Never overrated, not even parents hate it
I earn top marks; you simply pass
Like cow farts you got a fist full of methane gas
Rage against the appliance
Making smoothies by hand doesn't constitute defiance
I'm a concise bird or a brief pelican
Spit so legit though I may lack in melanin
I steal the show but that don't make me a felon
From the rooftops, I'm yelling and I'm bellowing
Ready to roll, ready to rock, ready to flow
But not quite ready to stop
You really think I'd stop?
Lock it up and put it down
I'm loaded with a high-speed connection, not a modem
Composed of TNT I am the CEO, you got demoted
Not the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean
I'm the baddest golgi apparatus
Throw curveballs like my name's Greg Maddux
One day Flay be bigger than Barbie
You can mark my words with a sharpie

Cut to the chase
I got no time to waste
Minutes equal money, honey
So hush up like a puppy cause you know you love me
Cut to the chase
I got no time to waste
Minutes equal dollars, holler
Pop an implant, not my collar

Discography

Suburban Rap Queen (2005)

Set List

Set List: Just Say No, I Rap Nice, Cut To The Chase, Bossy Remix, Pickup Lines, Half-Filled Cup

Set Time: 25-30 minutes