Kitten On the Keys

Kitten On the Keys


Kitten is a singer and pianist that writes punky cabaret tunes that will stir your nethers and tickle your funnybone! ! Racy Ragtime Romps and delirously decadent giggles and guffaws. She's damn talented on that piano too!


Firkeytoodlin' frisky feline, Suzanne Ramsey, aka Kitten On the Keys, serves up a mirthful smorgasboard of Punky Cabaret tunes that will stir your nethers and tickle your funnybone!

She's toured the US with Burlesquefest featuring Devotchka, opened for the DAMNED in the Twisted Cabaret of the DAMNED in the UK, Wales, Ireland, performed in France including famed venue Le Zebre de Belleville, MC'd venues in Las Vegas and MORE!
She plays piano for Bauhaus legend David J in LA and SF.

Inspired by a trip to Japan,
"Mr Buzzy Happiness" features a Hello Kitty Vibrator
solo and rascally toy piano playin'. Ahhhhh, enjoy your
kitty yes in-deed-ey!She'll charm your ears off with
her infectous giggles!

Dramatic remakes of The Sex Pistol's "Sub-Mission" and Patrick Fitzgerald's "Safety Pin Stuck In My Heart" are featured on "Kitty Muffins".

Excerpts from
Kitten's first CD of naughty Tin Pan Alley ditties
can be heard at the New York Museum of Sex's audio tour.
She revives madcap gems of yesteryear in elaborate productions with San Francisco's award winning Burlesque troupe, The Lollies!

Kitten's burlesquin' and songbirdin' is mentioned in a recent article on Burlesque Music by Vern Stoltz in Cool and Strange Music Magazine! Other reviews of "Kitty Muffins" can be found in Keyboard Magazine, the SF Weekly, Cool and Strange Music, SF Spectrum, Star and Garter Magazine, West Coast Performer, Belgiun Elle, Style Monte Carlo, Paris Crossroads,German Fetish Mag Marquis , SF Gate, San Francisco Chronicle and The Examiner, BAR and the Spectator!'
She caused a ruckus on Playboy Radio in October 2003,
performed live on Liberation Radio, KZSU Stanford,
WFMU, and Radio Nova in France. She can ne currently be seen on French TV with Canal plus.

She has been pictured in the New York Times Sunday Magazine, Nova Magazine in France, Katherine Bosse's Burlesque Portraits Book,
"The New Burlesque", and Michelle Baldwin's
"The New Bump and Grind".

The title track to this CD can be heard in the Super 8 Exploitation Flick , "Broad Daylight" by Victoria Renard and
John Micheal McCarthy shown at Sundance 2003!

Kitten's original ditties can be heard on the first
North American
Burlesque Tour... Burlesquefest! Look for her in Hollywood
October 10-12 2003 as the musical MC for the
3rd Annual Teaseorama
Burlesque Convention!

Kitten On the Keys won a SF Weekly Music Award in the New Genre/Beyond Catagory for her frisky antics and lively songsmithin'! Yipppeeee Doodle!

Hear Kitten On the Keys in FRANCE! Kitten takes part in the Cabaret New Burlesque in Nantes, France.....3/5,3/6 for the Ideal Festival.
Live in store in Nantes largest record Store, FNAC, and live broadcasting on Radio Nova!
Great Press in Le Monde, Liberation, and Oceane Press!
August 2005 finds her in Paris with Cabaret New Burlesque at Le Zebre de Belleville! 7 Sold Out Smash Shows!

Her three female role models are Freddie Mercury, Alice Cooper, and Liberace!

Kitten's third CD, "(It's Not) A Pretty Princess Day"
will be out Spring 2004! It includes 18 outrageous tracks that will be sure to tickle your funnybone and stir your nethers! Artwork by
Kitten on the Keys returns to Europe with Cabaret New Burlesque Augst 1-6 2005. A quick jaunt to
Monte Carlo will have our little Kitty taking photos in one of the most glamourous spots in the UNIVERSE!


Grandma Sells My Panties On E-Bay

Written By: copyright Suzanne Ramsey

Grandma Loves my little Panties
All the little panties in my drawers
Black or yellow red or white
They are Dollars in her sight
Grandma loves the panties in my drawers (uh oh)

Grandpa kicked the bucket
Granny hates to be ignored
So she turned her little baby
Into a panty whore

Cuz Grandma, She sells my panties
Granny sells my panties on Ebay!
She lifts 'em, from the hamper
Into Zip-lock Baggies fresh they'll stay

She turns a tidy profit
Selling my girlish Scent
The inmates come unglued
When they smell my sweet hoo hoo
I won't see a profit until I'm 8....8 .... oh.. ate!
You're sittin' on a goldmine lil' girl!

Granny she pimps my knickers
Granny pimps my knickers on Ebay
I stain my cotton panels
Garanimals and flannels everyday

Granny she sells my scanties
Granny pimps my scanties on Ebay
And all I ever get......
Is another shopping spree
To by more panties? Oh grandma!


Written By: Copyright Suzanne Ramsey

I handeled the papercuts during your comic book phase
But I can't cope with the anthropomorphic phase
Furtation has led to frustration
I no Longer get protein donations

Cuz your havin' an issue with your human tissue ooh oooh

Impure thoughts of fluffy stuffed skunks
Makes you spew your spunk

I would dribble and die
If you would nibble Kibble
Off my pussssssy pot pie!

Touchy Feelie Tactile
But your not erectile for me!

For Sex I have to beg
But all you do is hump my leg

You squirrely powder puff
Curiously Enough I want you in the BUFF
And to DO me ROUGH! ( But the only rough I get is arf arf)

Headed for an early casket
Cuz I blew a gasket
When I caught of blowin' a mascot

Used to make me purr
Now all You Do is Chew my F-U-R niture

Loved the sting of the flog
But your gettin' in touch with your inner hedgehog
Your nocturnal frolics
Leave me Alchoholic

My moist crevice ain't gushie
Bein involved with a plushie

Take off that Badger Suit I'll
Let you Play with my Poooop Shooot

Hearing the click click click
Of your poodle nails
The slap slap slap of your Beaver-Tail
Don't arrouse my snail leave a trail

Happy Tails to you
Cuz your starting to smell
Like a Petting Zoo

Pony Girl

Written By: Suzanne Ramsey copyright 2002

My hoofies go clip-clop
Your riding crop gets me HOT!
Strap a saddle on my back
And stick that pony tail in my CRACK! (ouch)

Feed me hay and alfalfa
Apples lumps of sugar too
I'll be your pony girl forever
Never put me in the zoo!

Let's Go For A Ride!

I'm your pony girl in training
A dainty filly it is true
Rigid mane and silky tail!
And I'm smarter than Lassie too!

You could ride me round the den!
I'll even take you to the loo.
I'll be your pony girl forever
Never turn me into GLUE!


Kitten On the Keys -16 songs of Tin Pan Alley and Haunting Cabaret Ballads

Kitty Muffins- Over the top feline shenanigans and tender punk rock covers!

Songs heard on KUSF, KZSU, Radio Nova Paris, CD Baby,

(it's not) a Pretty Princess Day-18 tracks of over the top ditties that will make you laugh and cry until your sides ache!

Salty Meat Girl 17 songs Tin Pan Alley Mae West vs Betty Boop

Set List

Kitten On the Keys has a large repitoire of of self penned naughty punky cabaret tunes. Her covers include 1920's and 1930's Tin Pan Alley Ditties, Liberace tinged Power Rock Ballads, and Punk Rock classics
done in a sensitive childlike manner. She wows audiences with her fantastic costumes and very naughty Burlesque antics! A crowd favorite is Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody"!

Kitten's Original Tunes:
Rice Rocket Boy
Bare My Sole
Pony Girl
(it's not) a Pretty Princess Day
Grandma Sells My Panties On E-Bay
Mr Buzzy Happiness
Bob Smith
Lethal Lolita
Bus Song
Salty Meat Girl

Ukulele Songs (Hawiian)
Princess Papule
Ukulele Lady and more!

Weimar Cabaret
I Am A Vamp