Local Anxiety

Local Anxiety

 Vancouver, British Columbia, CAN
DuoComedy

They're white, they're straight, they're sorry! Meet the world's only eco-comedy act -- Mark Leiren-Young and Kevin Crofton specialize in satirical songs and sketches that make you laugh (and think) about the environment. They starred in their own EarthVision Award winning TV Special, Greenpieces.

Biography

Mark Leiren-Young "Canada's go to guy for dolphins, whales and trees" (The National Post) and Kevin Crofton ("Canada's funniest guitar God," Mark Leiren-Young) shine their environmentally friendly satirical spotlight on the issues plaguing our planet.

"Canada's masters of social and political satire," Local Anxiety were one of the top comedy acts on the much-mourned MP3.com -- at one point owning ten of the top forty spots on the political satire charts.

Their song, Tree Farm, is featured in the award-winning movie, The Green Chain (www.thegreenchain.com) -- which was written and directed by half of the Anxious duo, Mark Leiren-Young. Their song,. Green Guilt Blues, is featured on the award-winning comedy short film, The Green Film.

Their hour-long TV special Greenpieces: An Eco-Comedy won rave reviews when it debuted on VTV in Canada and was featured on Canada's "Green Channel." Shot live at the Vancouver International Folk Festival, Greenpieces featured special guest appearances by such environmental icons as Dr. David Suzuki and received an EarthVision award from PBS for, "excellence in environmental film-making."

Other featured TV appearances include CBC TV's Sketchcom, the Jim Byrnes Show and multiple appearances on Canada's number one morning show -- Canada AM.

They've received awards for their work with National Public Radio in the U.S, they had numerous commissions from CBC Radio in Canada and NPR and have also been heard on Dr. Demento.

Their song, Hockey Nut in Nashville is featured on the CD, Hockey's Greatest Hits, Volume 1.

They've headlined at most major comedy festivals across Canada and have played major theatres across Canada. Their annual "Year in Revue" was a Vancouver tradition.

The Guys:

"Canada's go to guy for dolphins, whales and trees"? (The National Post) Mark is, "one of Canada's greenest writers."? (The Beach) His award-winning film, The Green Chain, (which he wrote, directed and produced) is playing on TMN and Movie Central. His new book -- The Green Chain -- Nothing is Ever Clear Cut was just released by Heritage House. The book collects some of his best interviews dealing with forestry issues and the environment from his Green Chain podcast series for Canada's top on-line -- The Tyee. Here's the series on iTunes. His gold medal-winning short eco-comedy film, The Green Film is playing festivals around the world. His new eco-comedy CD -- Greenpieces -- featuring award-winning comedy duo, Local Anxiety, is being released in December.

Mark was the recipient of the 2009 Stephen Leacock Medal for Humour for his best-selling comic memoir Never Shoot a Stampede Queen -- Adventures of a Rookie Reporter.

An award-winning journalist, Mark has written for such publications as Time Magazine, Maclean's and The Utne Reader and he's a regular contributor to The Georgia Straight and The Tyee.

Kevin Crofton has been featured in such TV series and feature films as Masters of Horror (Jennifer), Point Blank, Killer Instinct, Twist of Faith and he had a recurring role in The New Addams Family. He's worked on a wide variety of independent video projects and has been extremely active in live theatre as a director and actor near his home in Gibsons, B.C. Kevin performs his original music with his trio at venues throughout B.C. He is presently working on a new CD.

Lyrics

I'm White, I'm Straight, I'm Sorry

Written By: Mark Leiren-Young

I'm white, I'm straight, I'm sorry
What's worse I'm WASP and male
I'm so middle class that I make Wonderbread seem stale
I give spare cash to Greenpeace
I buy Ms. Magazine
I've written protest letters calling Barbie dolls obscene
I been bad -- historically -- I got them white guilt blues
I call every girl a woman
Even if they're four years old
I leave the toilet seat down
Without havin to be told
I'm a feminist sympathizer
I know my gender's worst
And I'll only have sex if the woman asks me first
I been bad -- collectively -- I got them white guilt blues
I renounce my imperialist leanings
Feel guilty about where we been
I think that Chris Columbus committed the original sin
I know that white oppressors
Have been major eco-slobs
And I'm really really sorry, but I'd still like to keep my job
I been bad -- not personally -- I got them white guilt blues

Dear ethnic individual or oppressed person of age, colour, ability, gender or size -- as a person of pink, with a Y chromosome -- I'd like to collectively apologize for the sins of every white male oppressor in history, because I deeply believe that historical wrongs have been committed and there's a need to set those right. P.S. Do you think maybe if I get this published in Mother Jones it'll help me get a date?

I'm not racist, sexist, violent
I'm none of the above
I'm nice to everybody -- so why can't I be loved
I march at all the marches
I think that war is heck
And all I want for Christmas is to be politically correct
I been bad – not personally -- I got them white guilt blues

I'm white, I'm straight, I'm sorry
What's worse I'm WASP and male
I'm so middle class that I make Wonderbread seem stale
I been bad -- not recently -- I got them white guilt blues

This Song is Dolphin Friendly

Written By: Mark Leiren-Young

This song is dolphin friendly 100% cholesterol free
It doesn't contain Nutrasweet and it's not fattening

The lyrics of this song were approved by a homeopathic Zen cooperative
They were developed by committee, until they sounded pretty and were functional and operative
The committee was gender balanced, with people of all colours, shapes, abilities and income size
Even the Dalai Lama corrected every comma to give us a shot at the Nobel Prize

This song is dolphin friendly, 100% cholesterol free
The only wood in this guitar comes from suicidal trees

It wasn't tested on animals, it conserves water, time and gasoline
It's sustainably developed by two nice fellas and Ralph Nader says it's certified green
The musical notes were all ethically treated and were all empowered to arrange themselves
The key of D took therapy, before agreeing this song was good for it's health

Worry globally, panic locally
shower with a friend
And while you're worryin, we'll be hurryin to sing
the chorus again

This song is dolphin friendly, 100% cholesterol free
Contains no known carniconegens and has safe levels of CFCs

All the profits go to third world countries,
You didn't mention that to me
Okay boss, you pick a cause
Comedians living in poverty
It's only available in union run holistic organic record stores
But that's just how we'll feel til we make a deal to sell out for a million bucks or more

This song is dolphin friendly 100% cholesterol free
It doesn't contain nutrasweet and it's not fattening

This song is dolphin friendly, 100% cholesterol free
Recorded in a solar power studio and available on recycled CDs

Five Simple Things

Written By: Mark Leiren-Young & Kevin Crofton

Five simple things to save our world
Five simple things we can do
There's still time, it's not too late
Who makes the future -- it's you

Five simple things to save our world
Five simple things we can do
There's still time, it's not too late
Who makes the future -- it's you

- Audience offers five simple things

Don't wait for the politicians or the businessmen
Don't wait for the aliens from Mars
Don't wait for the Messiah
Or Billy Gates
We make the future, its ours

Five simple things to save our world
Five simple things we can do
There's still time, it's not too late
Who makes the future -- it's you

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh 21St Century

Written By: Mark Leiren-Young (lyrics) Music (traditional)

Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, what’s your impact environmentally?
Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, I bought you with my family
Yes, global warming I do fear, but Christmas comes just once a year
Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, my daughter still won’t talk to me

I said I’d buy a plastic tree, she says, “plastic’s poisoning the sea”
We live in a condominium, so howzabout aluminum?
It’s been hard under the same roof. Since she watched An Inconvenient truth.
She says Christmas lights burn too much coal, that's why we’re melting the North pole

She says she want no gifts at all, so I drag her to the mall
I say please look for something fun, howzabout a BB gun?
I buy a blender for our neighbour, she says it was made with child labour.
Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, my daughter still won’t talk to me

Ever since my girl turned ten, she’s been an ovo-lacto-vegetarian
Instead of pumpkin pie and turkey, she wants carrot sticks and tofu jerky
But Christmas Eve she looks at me, says make sure Santa gets cookies
‘cuz even though she has a cause… she still believes in Santa Claus

Discography

Greenpieces (being released Summer, 2008)

Forgive Us We're Canadian (available on iTunes and through CDBaby)
http://cdbaby.com/found?allsearch=local+anxiety&submit=search

Hockey Nut in Canada (2007) (available on iTunes and through CDBaby)
http://cdbaby.com/found?allsearch=local+anxiety&submit=search
Greenpieces (releasing Spring, 2008)

Set List

All songs are original... A typical set would include...

I'm White, I'm Straight, I'm Sorry
Shoot The Spotted Owl
This Song is Dolphin Friendly
Green Guilt Blues
Tanning USA
Tree Farm