Myles Nye

Myles Nye

BandComedyBroadway

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Lyrics

The Hoose-Gow

Written By: Myles Nye and Phil Ward

Hey buddy have you heard the yammer, there's a dance that's causing a clamor, it's all the rage in the slammer: The Hoose-Gow (Hoose-Gow!) Inmates are making merry with the gang in the prison library or all alone in solitary the hoose-gow. With the black and white stripes that you're sportin', you'll make a good impression on the warden (or Lizzie Borden). Each evening rumor has the Birdman of Alcatraz jiving to this cuckoo jazz, the Hoose-Gow. This dance could be a savior: do it well and they might shave your sentence down for good behavior, the Hoose-Gow. I heard Al Capone say to Dillinger, "I'll be Fred if you will be my Ginger." Those killer and robbers of banks in the prison yard are breaking ranks they're putting away their shanks for the Hoose-Gow. Do it like into it you've your soul poured, let em hear you down at the parole board (oh Lord!) You'll be the envy of folks who are free, they can only imagine the madcap revelry, they're pounding down the gates at every penitentiary. You just try to tell a fella he's not committed any felonies. It's a federal source of mirth, it'll liven Leavenworth , it's the swingingest place on earth the Hoose-Gow!

Spaghetti Jamboree

Written By: Myles Nye and Austin Zumbro

Well I'm a real picky eater, I'd never eat a beat, I'd rather die than eat a plate of green beans. Mama made me eat marmalade-- I taught her what sorrow means. We argued and debated til she got so frustrated she said, "What will you eat?" I cleared my throat and said, "Please take note so I don't have to repeat." It's made with lemon zest and pheasant breast and a ton of that succotash roux. Artichoke lard and a lot of Swiss chard and a little bit of vindalou will do. Well you better salt and pepper it but keep the pepper separate if you want to serve it to me. Have a big heaping bowl of Risa's Everything Plus the Kitchen Sink Suppertime Spaghetti Jamboree. Well what is it? It's sort of a fritata, a kind of enchilada, a synonym for cinnamon stick. An armada of ricotta and a lot of avocado and more salt than you find in a lick. If you eat it willy-nilly like a four-alarm chili you'll end up in a hospital bed. The original chef has gone stone cold deaf and the rest of his family is dead, from eating (chorus). Start with papaya, add some jambalaya, add a half a can of anchovy paste. A splash of salami, a dash of edamame, hot pastrami to taste. Then you stick it in a pot, cook it til it's hot, do not take it out til it's done. Slap on a bib and a grin and dig right in and then dial 9-1-1. (chorus)

The Months Have a Party

Written By: Myles Nye and Austin Zumbro

The spring and the autumn, you've searched for 'em and sought 'em but there's just one place where they're gonna be. September will sizzle, April do try not to drizzle, when the months have a p-p-party. Well January, February, March April and May have all dressed up in party hats and come on out to play. Please RSVP to your hosts June and July, we're getting ready, eagerly awaiting your reply. When the summer and the winter get together for a mixer rest assured that it is quite a sight to see. From solstice to equinox they know how much this party rocks when the months have a p-p-party. Well August took September out to go buy school supplies and October has been wearing his new Halloween disguise. November told December, "I'm so happy to see that you could bring us together as one family!" When the months have a p-p-party. When the months have a wing-ding it's more than just a spring fling, it's a June-and-July jubilee. "We're the days of the week-- can we come by and take a peek?" When the months have a p-p-party. Well Saturday has just arrived so it's time to have some fun, but everyone's invited, yeah he's not the only one: Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday too: yeah everybody's here and now all we need is you! When the months have a p-p-party!

Subway Song

Written By: Myles Nye and Austin Zumbro

Some days when your car's broke down and you've got no way to get around, it's easy to start feeling a little blue. You want to moan and groan and frown when you got to get yourself across town and you think there's nothing you can do. Hey man don't cancel your plans. Hey lady, your laundry's waiting, hey friend you got a letter to send, but how you gonna get there? Oh what a pity. Well I got a solution paid for by the city. Let's go ride on the subway (subwhat?) subway, it's the place to be. It's public transportation (trans-what?) transportation for you and me cause it's public (pub-what?) public, means it's there for everyone. Let's take a ride on the subway (sub-what?) subway, gonna have some fun. Sometimes you had a bad day at work cause your boss was a real big jerk and you really are just eager to get home. You're so upset cause the traffic's stopped and you want to tell someone all your problems but you're stuck inside your car all alone. Hey dad don't get mad, hey mom try to stay calm, oh brother I wish there was another way home. Well tomorrow just remember that when the day ends you can take the subway with all of your friends! (chorus)

Bear Attack

Written By: Myles Nye and Austin Zumbro

Oh no I've been caught in the middle of a situation and I can't seem to extricate myself from the clutches of these things ghastly things that I created, I don't think they'll stop until they've been completely satiated. Attacked by bears, but to be more specific, robot bears equipped with laser vision. And admittedly it's just a little silly but I really think these things are going to kill me. My only hope is that my young assistant will keep his cool and power down the system. I admit that I did not foresee this turn of events-- I had rechecked my figures. They were so innocent! But now I am suspicious. It would seem that these machines have grown malicious. I gave them life and now they try to slay me-- what a twisted way for them to repay me. Ah, they're tearing me apart just as they're ripping out my heart! Flash back to the meeting at Berlin where I presented my hypothesis. I proposed that I could build life from nothing-- they just scoffed and I left them all there laughing. Back at the lab I worked for countless weeks all alone but for my lab assistant Steve. And there were days when I wouldn't stop to eat but at last my creations were complete! When they arose they were unstoppable-- I named them then URSUS ROBOTICOS. Even now, my heart still swells with pride for these things I fear that I may die for. I hope we'll put all this behind us and focus on this amazing thing that I have done for science. (chorus) Steven come to me, my voice is failing. There's no more stopping them, they've become self-sustaining. So listen up and do these things for me and once I've finished you can let me die in peace. Call my wife, she lives in Paris now, we haven't spoken in what seems like millenia. And I apologize for all the wrong I've done her, and let her know that as I lay here I still loved her. You've been my friend, helped me through this scrape, but it's the end and now you must escape. It's not long before I slip from this mortal coil and with this dying breath I tell this tale of horror in an effort to instill you with a fear of making things that later on will kill you (chorus)