Nagel

The history of legendary '80s band NAGEL ("The Drink That Became A Band") is shrouded in mystery and misinformation. Some fans say the band rose from the ashes of East German artnoise/synth band Das Damen; others feel confident that they were a vanity project put together by the Sultan of Brunei; while still others insist the core members met in a narcotics abusers' rehab music therapy class led by Klaus Nomi. Wherever the real truth lies, this much is known about NAGEL:

The band is led by a duo of female fraternal twins: The exotic and tempestuous keyboard mistress, Rio, and her paler sister Diva, the fragile, yet highly volatile and hot-tempered vocalist. The guitar-player, known only as The Taskmaster, has long insisted on short songs and even shorter skirts for his band and its followers, while the bottom end is held down by a bass-playing retired military officer named Thunder and a former Abercrombie & Fitch male-model-cum-drummer the band refers to only as Mr. Kyte.

NAGEL's music was described by Nick Tosches as "apocalyptic bubble-gum power-pop" just before he collapsed into the drum set during a rare live performance by the band at The Pyramid in 1988. Other, more lucid minds have called NAGEL's sound everything from "rock-n-roll flambé" to "joyously melancholy pop opera." The Taskmaster says simply that Nagel is "aesthetically overqualified."

Their earliest vinyl output is highly coveted by collectors, as they were only released by the obscure Austrian label, Artichronos. However, the band re-issued their EP "The Nagel Has Landed" in 2004 on the Royal Cherry Cavendish label, to great, albeit German, acclaim. NAGEL has caused a flurry of excitement in Switzerland and Dubai with the news that they have re-entered the studio for the first time in 25 years to collaborate with Austin, TX's Michael Crow (Grand Champeen) on their magnum opus, "The New 'N'' Word."

The very few, specially-selected fans who have been lucky enough to see their idols in person during the recording sessions have all commented on how remarkably well-preserved the members of NAGEL appear, despite their vast, varied, and conspicuous consumption of a dazzling panoply of illegal substances over the years.

"Perhaps," said one awed Norwegian bystander, "they have been pickled, like herring."