Paul and Storm

Paul and Storm

BandPop

Paul and Storm have been writing and performing comedy music together for a long, long time, starting with their stint together in a cappella band Da Vinci’s Notebook. They hope that their music will make people laugh and feel good for a while, and believe that this aim is noble, right and just.

Biography

"Energetic...quick witted" -- Washington Post

Paul and Storm have been writing and performing funny songs together for a long, long time, starting with their stint together in a cappella band Da Vinci’s Notebook. Their music tends to make people laugh and feel good, and Paul and Storm believe that this makes their pursuit noble, right and just.

BONUS: their live show is better than 1,000 Fonzies, and more spellbinding than Mr. T on a unicycle.

Anyone with ADD will appreciate the broad range of territory that Paul and Storm cover in their music... Chicken nuggets. Love. Boxing nuns. Relationships. Pirates. Friendship. If James Taylor were on fire.

Catchy melodies and well-constructed music underpin the comedy, and in live performance their harmonies draw comparisons to the Everly Brothers, while their stage presence evokes the Barenaked Ladies. They will do nearly anything to win the hearts and minds of their audiences, and often throw Twinkies, Moon Pies and/or other snack cakes into the crowd to help seal the deal. Occasionally, panties are thrown back.

All of their music is available from their website (www.paulandstorm.com) in CD format or as downloadable mp3's.

Paul and Storm's music is often heard on the "Bob and Tom" syndicated morning radio show, and has been heard on “The Drew Carey Show”, Comedy Central, XM Satellite Radio's "Dr. Demento" show, and on the popular web cartoon site Homestarrunner.com.

Greg "Storm" DiCostanzo proudly plays Martin guitars.

Lyrics

Epithets

Written By: Greg DiCostanzo & Paul Sabourin

Algernon was hanging pictures over his bed
The hammer missed the nail, and hit his finger instead
The swelling started growin’
And the blood began a’ flowin
While Algernon let go with some
Epithets!

Bobby was the pitcher on his Little League team
His father would project on him his own broken dreams
He’d guzzle down the booze
And then when Bobby’s team was losin’
Daddy started to abuse ‘em with
Epithets!

An epithet’s a word or phrase that people can use
When ordinary words and phrases simply won’t do
To express frustration, pain, impatience, anger or scorn
To the ****heads and the ***holes in your way

The Mayor loved the women and he loved cocaine
He got himself a hooker to keep him entertained
But when he discovered
She was working undercover;
Then Hizzoner started utterin’
Epithets!

Epithets!
Show emotion
Impatience
Frustration
Pain and anger
Amen

Six Guys, Ten Teeth

Written By: DiCostanzo/Sabourin

Five o’ clock, Friday, I can hear the whistle blowin’
Got a 6:30 barbecue, and all my boys are showin’ up:
Skeeter, Cooter, Billy Ray and Bobby Ray and Billy Bob

We got a pig in the ground, but can’t remember where we buried it
So we load up the truck with all the bourbon we can carry
And we kill another hour shootin’ BBs at the neighbor’s dog

Somebody throws a punch and my buddies get to brawlin’
But I can hear the honky-tonk ’n’ señoritas callin’
We pile into the pickup, do some donuts on the lawn
You’ll find us in the mornin’ when the money’s all gone

We’ll be covered in piss and stinkin’ to the heavens
Sleepin’ in the dumpster out behind the 7-’leven
Our underwear is lyin’ in the middle of the road and
I’m bleedin’ from a head wound, swellin’ in the scrotum
Got the shakes, DTs, gonorrhea and the trots
And a tattoo on my buttocks in the shape o’ Don Knotts
Everybody runs when we make it on the scene—
Six guys, ten teeth and one brain between us

’bout 11:30, and we’re feelin’ kinda down
’cause we already been booted outta every bar in town
So we hang out by the school and watch the cuties leave the junior prom

Me and both the Billys wanna see some nekkid ladies
But the Hooter Hut is closed, Double D’s is overrated
So we hit the Jiggly Wiggly, where the headliner is Bobby Ray’s mom

Things are goin’ good ’til a stripper starts to holler
After Skeeter started diggin’ round for change for his dollar
Stripper throws a punch, Skeeter’s laid out on the floor
We prob’ly oughta help him, but we’re runnin’ out the door

We’ll be covered in piss and stinkin’ to the heavens
Sleepin’ in the dumpster out behind the 7-’leven
Our underwear is lyin’ in the middle of the road and
I’m bleedin’ from a head wound, swellin’ in the scrotum
Got a squirrel and a stop sign hangin’ from my bumper
And a feelin’ like a roman candle burnin’ in my dumper
A more pathetic sight you ain’t never ever seen—
Six guys, ten teeth and one brain between us

Four in the mornin’, and they kicked us outta Denny’s
So we motor to the Mini-Mart and spend our last twenty
On a Molly Hatchet tape, a stack o’ Swank, and seven packs o’ chaw

Cooter’s is in the swimmin’ pool that he just drove the truck in
Billy Bob is passed out, Billy Ray is upchuckin’
And I’m crappin’ in the parking lot behind the VFW Hall

Sheriff pulls up and we’re headin’ for the station
But Cooter’s dad’s a judge, so we get off with probation
If you wanna separate the girlies from the men
We’ll see you next Friday when we do it all again

We’ll be covered in piss and stinkin’ to the heavens
Sleepin’ in the dumpster out behind the 7-’leven
Our underwear is lyin’ in the middle of the road and
I’m bleedin’ from a head wound, swellin’ in the scrotum
Got the clap, dry heaves, Montezuma’s and the shivers
Pukin’ on my Tony Lamas, coughin’ up my liver
If you can bail Skeeter out, then you can join the team
Six guys, ten teeth and one brain between us
Don’t need any manners, common sense or self-esteem
Six guys, ten teeth and one brain between us
All you need’s an attitude, a pickup and a penis
Six guys, ten teeth and one brain between us

Find the Words

Written By: DiCostanzo/Sabourin

I just can’t seem to find the words
To tell you just how much you mean to me
So forget it

You’ll never know how beautiful and wonderful
And specialful you are
’cause I can’t tell you
Just forget it

I can’t afford to buy you diamonds or fancy things
So I won’t

Last night, while you slept next to me
I finally had found the perfect words to say “I love you”
You couldn’t hear me
’cause you were sleeping
Now I forgot them
So just forget it

A Better Version of You

Written By: Paul and Storm

Hey, little man, get up out of bed
And wipe all the sleep from those eyes
I know that it’s late, but we just couldn’t wait
To tell you our big new surprise

Remember that night, about three months ago
When you walked into Mom and Dad’s room?
And then how we talked of the birds and the bees,
And "arousal" and "climax" and "wombs?"

Well, six months from now, you’ll be a big brother
That’s right, Little Tiger; it’s true:
Mommy and Daddy are making a better version of you

It might be a boy, just like his older brother
But without the flaws holding you down
Or, if we are lucky, we could have a girl
Like we wanted the first time around

Maybe this new person won’t wet the bed
Or bug us for candy and toys
I bet the new you will shut up when we tell them
And not make so much goddamn noise

Thanks to the five years we’ve had you to practice on
Now we know what not to do
Mommy and Daddy are making a better version of you

Can you imagine the things he’ll achieve
As a doctor or lawyer or indian chief
He’ll be an astronaut, he’ll bring world peace
He will win the World Series and cures all disease

He will be handsome
And he will be popular
He will be wealthy
And very important

And he will be famous
And he will be special
And you get to watch

It’s a lot for a five-year-old boy to take in
But we know that you’re brave and you’re tough
So we ask that you give to him all of your love
And your bedroom and all of your stuff

It’s not a replacement—it’s more like an upgrade
It’s Our Little Man, version 2
Mommy and Daddy are making
The bun’s in the oven and baking
Mommy and Daddy are making a better version of you

Opening Band

Written By: Paul and Storm

We are the opening band
We are here to do five or six or seven songs
“Don’t go too long, and get the hell off the stage”
We are the opening band
We’re probably not the band you came to see tonight, but it’s alright
’cause soon we’ll go away

And we’re wondering, just where the hell’s the sound guy?
He disappeared just after we got up here
He’s probably behind the building rolling up a fattie
And he’ll be gone until last song

We got a VW van
I had to sell every Star Wars™ figure that I had
And ask my Dad to co-sign for the loan

We don’t got a whole lot of fans
Nobody asks for our autograph
And sad to say, as of today
No panties have been thrown

And we’re wondering if this was worth the drive here
We spent six hours in traffic on the highway
For fifty bucks and half price on the cheese fries
And free Miller® Lite on tap
Who can drink that crap?

My cousin lives in town, and we’ll be crashing at his place
Unless his girlfriend’s home from college
And she’s staying for the weekend And if she is, then we will have to go and park the van
Behind the IHOP by the Turnpike
And we’ll sleep in the back seat

And we’re wondering just where the headline act is
They’re prob’ly getting wasted in the green room
And they don’t give a rat’s ass who we are
So when they start to play up here
We’re gonna drink all their beer

We are the opening band
We hope that all of you sign up on our mailing list
And buy our disc
And t-shirts in black and gray

We are the opening band
And we only got about 25 more minutes left
That’s all we get
To blow your ass away

We are the opening band
We are the opening band
Hello
Hello
Hello

Discography

Gumbo Pants (2007)
- 30 tracks of road-tested material, including their popular "What If" impressions of James Taylor, Bob Dylan, They Might Be Giants, and more.

News To Us (2006)
- Hand-picked selections from the first nine months worth of current-events-inspired songs written for the "Bob and Tom" syndicated morning radio show.

Opening Band (2005)
- P&S's first full-length CD

Shame and Cookie Dough (2004)
- 5-song EP; no longer in print

New songs and other tidbits magically appear quite often at www.paulandstorm.com

Set List

During a Paul and Storm set, you’ll hear humorous and satirical songs about:
- being the opening band
- the inventor of the chicken nugget
- counting and other Schoolhouse Rock-type subjects
- boxing nuns
- pirates
- and more
- so much more

You’ll also hear irreverent commercial parodies, updated versions of “Schoolhouse Rock” songs, and love songs that just don’t come out the way they’re supposed to.