Paul Austin Kelly

Paul Austin Kelly

BandFolkChildren's Music

We play family music. It is traditional sounding but it can rock, too. We never preach or condescend, musically or otherwise. The message is music. It is not our job to teach kids how to do math or English. We teach them to love music for music's sake. If they learn anything, it should be that.

Biography

I've had an international career as an opera and concert singer for the last 20 years. My roots, though, are folk, pop and jazz. That's what I'm happiest performing. When I met these guys I knew I could at last get back to my roots. We clicked. Richard and I started writing new songs together and arranging old ones to suit our sound, which is a unique blend of American and British. The stage show is dynamic with lots of audience interaction and interaction between the band members, sound effects and bizarre instruments. We laugh a lot.

Lyrics

Higgeldy-Piggeldy

Written By: P.A. Kelly

Higgledy-piggledy
Here we lie
Picked and plucked
And put in a pie
My first is snapping, snarling, growling
My second’s hard-working, romping, prowling
Higgledy-piggledy
Here we lie
Picked and plucked
And put in a pie.

Wiggledy woggledy
Here we sit
Deep in the middle
Of an old sand pit.
My back is itchin’ scritchin’ scratchin’
Down in the pit where the eggs are hatchin’.
Wiggledy woggledy
Here we sit
Deep in the middle
Of an old sand pit.

Hurgly gurgly, here we go,
Down in the river by the big willow.
Her tail is fl ippin’ fl oppin’ fl appin’
Swimmin’ too close and my face she’s slappin’
Hurgly gurgly, here we go,
Down in the river by the big willow.

Doctor Foster

Written By: P.A. Kelly

Doctor Foster went to Gloucester
In a shower of rain.
He stepped in a puddle
Right up to his middle,
And never went there again.

Doctor Blunden went to London
In a torrent of hail.
It knocked his noggin crazy
Till his eyeballs went all hazy
So he kept them in a pail.

Doctor Bumbrage went to Tonbridge
In a terrible storm
He didn’t take his brolly
Nor his mackintosh or wellies
Or a hat to keep him warm.

Doctor Gorham went to Shoreham
Just to see a patient there.
The weather was ungodly
And it wore his temper badly,
So he tore out all his hair.

Need A Room

Written By: P.A. Kelly

Every afternoon
I’m here in my room
Shut the door and stay
I take myself away

Refrain:
We all need a room
A place to grow
A space where we can be alone
We all need a room
A place we know
And time to think all on our own

Just myself and me
In the library
Take a book and find
I’m inside someone’s mind

Leave the neighbourhood
Wander through the wood
Every step is fed by
Music in my head

In the darkening sky
Clouds are drifting by
Stars and planets spin
And how do I fit in?

Pickle in My Pocket

Written By: P.A. Kelly

Woke up, Saturday, school a million miles away
I went in to the kitchen, to chase the hunger blues away.
I slapped some peanut butter on some bread,
Slipped a pickle in my pocket for the road ahead,
Burped like a kid who�s been well fed,
Then I sidled on out the door.

Then I rode downtown where the gang was hanging �round,
Went into The Town Pantry to chew the fat with Sammy Brown.
He said, �I hate to be the bearer of bad news,
But you got something nasty dripping on your schoolboy shoes!
You might be losing some juice you can�t afford to lose,
But my pardon you will have to beg!�

I had a pickle in my pocket and the juice was running down my leg!

So I ran outside, looking for someplace to hide,
Bumped into Jody Simpson, she looked so pretty that I could have cried.
She took one look at my trousers then she looked at me,
She said, �I bet you left the house and didn�t bother to pee.
Don�t tell me I�m lying �cause it�s plain to see
And my pardon you will have to beg!�

I got a pickle in my pocket and the juice is running down my leg!

Jody ran to the gang
�He�s wet his pants!� she gaily sang.
The gang came running like a dog pack with a jostle and a bang
I was so embarrassed I was seeing red.
I had a sledgehammer swinging up inside my head,
And at that very moment I wished I was dead,
And their pardons I would have to beg!

I had a pickle in my pocket and the juice was running down my leg!
Then I ran on home, any place I could be alone,
I slammed on through my front door
And started disconnecting all the phones.
I imagined it would be the evening headline news,
�Boy in public urinates all over his shoes!�
I�d never be rid of these pickle blues
And all the pardons I would have to beg.
For that pickle in my pocket and the juice that ran down my leg!

Totally Turkey-Free

Written By: P.A. Kelly

Totally Turkey Free
Words & Music by P.A.Kelly

I try to look real slender when November rolls around.
Otherwise I know I’ll catch it when the lady with the hatchet
Makes a chop, chop, chopping sound!
She sells us dear each and every year,
Dead turkeys by the pound!
But she’ll change her intention when she tastes my invention,
She'll be vegetarian bound.
And she will—

REFRAIN:
Gobble, gobble gobble!
Gobble, gobble gobble!
My turkey-free turkey meal.
Gobble, gobble gobble!
Gobble, gobble gobble!
Because it tastes so real!
It beats the heck out of stretching my neck.
It's an all around better deal.
And it's totally turkey free,
But it tastes just like me!

You say I’m just a turkey but that shows how much you know!
The diploma on my dresser says that I’m a full professor,
I’m a brain from head to toe!
My invention, boy,
Is made of eggs and soy.
Top secret, don’t you know?
So it’s time to stop excusing all your animal abusing
And let my turkey’s go!
So you can––
(repeat REFRAIN)

She says there's a reason that all turkeys get the chop.
Thanksgiving and Christmas are how she stays in business,
Selling turkeys to the shops.
Don't want to lose my head!
Don't want to wind up dead!
Come on, now lady, STOP!
Before I'm sitting in an oven with a belly full of stuffin'
And gravy on my top!
Go on and––

REFRAIN:
Gobble, gobble gobble!
Gobble, gobble gobble!
My turkey-free turkey meal.
Gobble, gobble gobble!
Gobble, gobble gobble!
Because it tastes so real!
It’s a wise old owl that does not eat fowl,
When soy’s a better deal.
And it's totally turkey free,
But it tastes just like me!

Discography

With Richard and Unleashed:
Unleashed on British Isles
Through Tenderwood
Dreams

Paul Austin Kelly, solo:
The Walking Oliver Sing-A-Long
Hello, Michael Rosen!
Don't Want No Bones for Christmas
Howlin' at the Moon
Rap 'N Roll
Sing-a-Long 2
Unleashed on America