Peter Reinhardt

Peter Reinhardt

BandHip HopMetal

Seriousness through humour and vice versa, disregarding genre classification.

Biography

I like listening to fast metal (Dillinger Escape Plan), Glenn Gould on Bach, Tool, and Bootylicious, but I don't generally write music like any of these. I like working with rhythm variations within a repeating time signature (just like most people) but I dream of emancipating that poor barline from its cruel prison. Or singing funny songs about hobbits.

Lyrics

Maniac

Written By: Peter Reinhardt

I'm a Lego maniac
and when I get an attack
you better step back (x3)
I don't know if I'm good in the sack
'cause I'm a Lego maniac

Why twenty-four hours a day? they say, and I pause to remind them 'Hey, I gotta play'
'cause when a man stands and spans his arms to greet the day, he's got to weigh his options
and it ain't that I got no bills to pay
No, I ain't no social rebel
I'm real, and if you're not at my level you're playing music but there's bass and no treble; you're building a table but you forgot the bevel!
I got more Lego than Gates' got dollars, he hollers when he sees his collection is smaller
I'm hard core down to my feet
and to get to my car, I built a Lego street and all the people I meet and greet skip a beat
seeing my master bedroom with my Lego ensuite
they wanna know how I attain my mastery
You flatter me and as soon as I bite you're after me
buying me drinks, yeah, 'cause you can't think
taking me out to clubs and pubs to get to the brink
hanging off my every word while I tell of my kitchen sink
asking me to spill my guts with your friendly little wink
well, I'll tell you something, something you oughtta know: building vicariously is the sucka's way to go
you don't grow, you stay below where you belong on your own
and that makes ya smaller than a collar 'round my little baby toe.

[chorus]

you gotta two-by-one?
I gotta billion, son
you gotta two-by-two?
yeah, in lime or light blue?
you gotta two-by-three?
yeah, you know me
you gotta two-by-four?
I gotta two-by-more, I'll build you under the floor
I'm hard down to my core, and before you be dissin' you better know I'll explore your insides with my minifig scalpel
your funeral's booked at the red brick chapel
I gotta red brick apple on a yellow brick road
I spit Lego seeds as Lego caps explode
I'll knock you off your socks if you suck up to me with your phony box of compatible blocks, it shocks me out of my reverie
you might fall short of bricks, but never me
every time, you're looking up to my model: my starship, my castle, my ship-in-a-bottle
I can't mollycoddle your sorry ass if you're stupid
I'm busy building Ghandi, Santa and Cupid
I'm the rennaisance man of cold, hard plastic
you're spastic compared to me
I'm bombastic, elastic in adaptibility
you may build, but you can't build like me

[chorus]

I close doors of course on those who attempt
those phonies who tell me they can build me Clark Kent
I get bent up with laughter 'til my throat becomes spent
'When I can build Krypton to scale and still pay rent?'
they meant to impress me?
dress me with bricks
all in one colour, while golfing a 66
I'll build Lego walls to surround ya
and a little Lego police officer to ground ya, impound your car, you who tried to drown me in that dirty bar
I kick kids at Toys R Us if they be steppin up like suckas fresh off the school bus
thinkin that they can get a little piece of this action
but in fact, and with tact, I put those punks in traction
my reaction is quick, like a two-by-one hinge
I'll buy up the whole store when I go on a binge
on the fringe of society
riots in piety
you better not play with fire or you're gonna get singed
so shut up, step back, sit up and listen to this: I'm building structure that you don't wanna miss
tellin me I can't build it's like handing down a dis, so you best be stayin in your place unless you like my Lego fist!

[chorus]

Sam Stands Alone

Written By: Peter Reinhardt

Still the same old Sam, son of Ham
I got a ring on my finger, I'm a hobbit, not a man
I come from a clan in the Shire
From a line of gardeners for hire
but the eye of fire brought me out of my home
I roam with the fellowship I call my own
I'm alone now in Mordor, the vast catacomb
and I'm kicking myself: the situation's overblown!
Groan! I left Frodo in a tunnel with the orcs
and now they're gonna play all sorts of sports
with his body, and malicious retorts are gonna fly
and his story will be cut short
It all started with Sauron the moron
making a ring of power, and now we gotta pour it on
Isildur cut the ring midst the pain
by the Dagorlad plain but now we pause for refrain

I'm just a hobbit so stop it
You're pushing me to the extreme
you won't drop it
I won't quit
The enemy's oppression makes me fit

Still the same Gamgee
yeah look at me
I crossed half of Middle Earth to set the people free
and now back to the story of the ring
no lingering, Gondor has no king
I sing of when, way back then, Sauron made nine rings to enslave nine men
But before we get ahead of ourselves
he made seven for dwarves and three for elves
And in the shelves of Rivendell, Elrond's maps
I read folds and flaps of books and scraps of paper
Now my mind's doing laps
History anachronizes me into rapping raps
Crap! I just fought a spider in the dark!
Luckily my sting was worse than my bark
I parked it in its belly; now Frodo's got a bite mark like a great white shark
But where was I? Oh yeah, greed.
Isildur figured he'd need to lead his precious away with all speed
With a shaft in his back he was finally freed.
The ring lay dormant for centuries
Sauron was caught in a purgatorial penitentiary
From the river bed it would call him
And when we return, we come to Gollum

Did you
Did you
Did you hear the call?
Did you have to throttle Deagol
You could have remained as Smeagol

No, you ain't naught but lies and deceit
Still the same dead meat
Incomplete without your precious
discreet on your hand. Killing on your feet, the subtle conceit,
Malice, lies, you poured that chalice you despise
Deaf to your own cries
In a palace of infinite size
Your finger gets a callus 'cause you're still in disguise
This applies to anyone who tries out for team power
and your time will come too, if you allow 'er
But my hour is now
I can't bow down and cower if Sauron is planning to scour all my people away
Today I pray for my courage to stay so I can do what's right
This night, and every night
Returning light to this shattered land
I wish someone would give me a hand
Frodo! What do I do?
I don't know! Got no clue.
Still the same old Sam; I'm like a lamb
I got a master in a prison like only I can
My old man would hardly understand the span of the evil plan
This quasi-man who thinks he can rule the earth
Or at least the middle, 'cause he can't get the girth
The birth of my children would be midst black
There's no lack to his attack
He's seeking cracks in defense with packs of armies giving no slack
My knapsack on my back is my only comfort when I'm down and blue
First I'll get Frodo, then Sauron it's you!
You're through! Taxes overdue for audit!
Never underestimate a hobbit.

Set List

30-45 min.
no covers