Randy Brooks

Randy Brooks

 Dallas, Texas, USA
BandComedy

Randy Brooks is the novelty singer/songwriter who is inevitably introduced, even at the most inappropriate times, as "the man who wrote 'Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.'"

Other Info

Cover band: 
No

Lyrics

I'd Rather Be Sailin' (with Governor Palin)

Written By: Randy Brooks

I’D RATHER BE SAILIN’ (WITH GOVERNOR PALIN)
(Randy Brooks)

SOMETIMES I BELIEVE YOU DON’T LOVE ME NO MORE
WHEN YOU TREAT ME THE WAY THAT YOU DO
YOU DON’T NEVER SWEEP UP OUR MOBILE HOME FLOOR
AND YOU WON’T EVEN FETCH ME A BREW
WHEN WE WAS FIRST HITCHED, YOU WAS ONE SEXY (lady)
WHEN DID YOU TURN INTO A SHREW?
I’D RATHER BE SAILIN’ WITH GOVERNOR PALIN
THAN FIGHTIN’ ALL DAY WITH YOU

I’D RATHER BE SAILIN’ WITH GOVERNOR PALIN
THAN FIGHTIN’ ALL DAY WITH YOU
I’D HAVE ME NO CARES, SHE’D PROTECT ME FROM BEARS
WHILE SHE SERVED AS MY ONE-WOMAN CREW
WITH HER PHOTOSHOPPED BODY SHE LOOKS LIKE A HOTTIE
SHE’S NICE BUT SHE’S NAUGHTY…TOO
I’D RATHER BE SAILIN’ WITH GOVERNOR PALIN
THAN FIGHTIN’ ALL DAY WITH YOU

YOU COME IN ALL SWEATY FROM MOWIN’ THE LAWN
AND YOU DON’T EVEN FIX ME MY LUNCH
AND IF I DARE TELL YOU I’M THIRSTY AS HELL
YOU GIVE ME A HAII-WAII-AN PUNCH
OH DON’T YOU RECALL WHEN WE STARTED IT ALL
YOU LOVED ME WITH ALL OF YOUR HEART
NOW I ASK FOR A QUICKIE, YOU CALL ME A SICKIE
OH WHEN DID WE DRIFT APART

CHORUS

SOMETIMES WHILE YOU’RE SNORIN’ I LIE THERE AWAKE
AND MY MIND HAS A MIND OF ITS OWN
I DREAM ABOUT STEALIN’ A BOAT OFF THE LAKE
AND SAILIN’ TO ISLANDS UNKNOWN
AND IF I COULD VOTE FOR WHO I WOULD ELECT
TO JOIN ME IN NAUTICAL BLISS
FORGET YOUR OBAMA; I’D HOLLER “OH MAMA!”
ALASKA TO GIVE ME A KISS!

CHORUS

ARGH!

It's Halloween (A Christmas Song)

Written By: Randy Brooks

IT’S HALLOWEEN
(A CHRISTMAS SONG)
(Randy Brooks)

(VERSE) THE JACK-O'-LANTERN'S ALMOST DEAD
THE TRICK-OR-TREATERS ARE IN BED
I'M WEARY, TOO - BUT DUTY CALLS
LET'S NOG THE EGGS, AND DECK THE HALLS

(VERSE) WHEN MIDNIGHT COMES ON HALLOWEEN
WE’LL CHANGE THE ORANGE FOR RED AND GREEN
WE’VE HEARD ENOUGH OF “MONSTER MASH”
BRING ON THOSE DEER THAT DANCE AND DASH

CHORUS: IT'S HALLOWEEN, LET'S HANG THE LIGHTS
CHOP DOWN A TREE, PLAY "SILENT NIGHT"
IT'S HALLOWEEN, NO TIME TO WASTE
CHRISTMAS WILL BE HERE IN 55 DAYS

(Verse) AS SOON AS ALL THE GHOULS ARE GONE
WE’LL PLACE THE MANGER ON THE LAWN
WHERE SHALL WE PUT THE WISE MEN THREE?
NEXT TO THE WEREWOLF, AGAINST THE TREE

(Verse) THERE USED TO BE A HOLIDAY
LATE IN THE FALL: THANKSGIVING DAY
NO ONE REMEMBERS WHAT THAT WAS
PERHAPS THE BIRTHDAY OF SANTA CLAUS

CHORUS

(Verse) NOW ON DECEMBER 25TH,
WE'LL WAKE UP EARLY, OPEN GIFTS
AND WHEN WE'RE DONE, 'BOUT HALF PAST NINE
WE'LL ALL START WRITING VALENTINES

(Verse) OUR ONE COMPLAINT, WE CHRISTMAS GEEKS
IS THAT IT ONLY LAST EIGHT WEEKS
WHEN NEXT YEAR COMES, WE THINK WE MAY
START DECORATING ON LABOR DAY


CHORUS, CHORUS, AND TAG

Whole-Lot Better Half of Me

Written By: Randy Brooks

YOU’RE MY VOICE BABE, WHEN I CANNOT TALK
YOU’RE MY TWO LEGS, WHEN I CANNOT WALK
YOU’RE THE ANCHOR IN MY DEEP BLUE SEA
YOU’RE THE WHOLE-LOT BETTER HALF OF ME

YOU’RE THE ANSWER, WHEN I CAN’T EXPLAIN
I’M THE VERSE, AND YOU’RE MY SWEET REFRAIN
YOU’RE THE SUGAR, BABE, IN MY SWEET TEA
YOU’RE THE WHOLE-LOT BETTER HALF OF ME

YOU’RE THE PALM TREE ON MY TROPIC ISLE
YOU’RE THE ACCESSORY THAT’S ALWAYS IN STYLE
YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE CAN MAKES ME SMILE
WHEN THE WORLD’S A DARKER SHADE OF GRAY

YOU’RE THE RING TONE ON MY TELEPHONE
YOU’RE THE CHERRY ON MY ICE CREAM CONE
I’LL BE YOURS UNTIL ETERNITY
YOU’RE THE WHOLE-LOT BETTER HALF OF ME

YOU’RE THE ANGEL ON MY CHRISTMAS TREE
YOU’RE THE UMBRELLA IN MY DAIQUIRI
YOU’RE THE CANDLES ON MY BIRTHDAY CAKE
YOU’RE THE GOODNESS IN “FOR GOODNESS SAKE”

YOU’RE MY VOICE BABE, WHEN I CANNOT TALK
YOU’RE MY TWO LEGS, WHEN I CANNOT WALK
YOU’RE THE ANCHOR IN MY DEEP BLUE SEA
YOU’RE THE WHOLE-LOT BETTER HALF OF ME