alternative/ funk/rock


How did The Relative Band come to the Melody Land ?


There were these 5 guys, in their 70s, sitting in the elder house, playing cards and chess every single day. They were bored and angry, because all they did all their life long was chasing the American Dream. They had the wife, the kids, the money, the big house, were now the kids lived, of course, and they just couldn’t get it how they got older, but not happier or wiser.

One day, they wanted to do something different, so they went on a trip to visit the monasteries from Moldavia. It was a nice summer day, and as they got closer to their target, the guys were very calm, speechless as they were staring at the beautiful prostitutes on the side of the road, waving and smiling like some Greek goddesses. The grandpas were so absorbed wondering how it would be to be young again, fantasizing about powerful erections with full testicles which sit under the penis like Atlas, but this nice fantasy was interrupted by a horrible sound provoked by a car crash the old men were now actively involved in. The car was thrown ten meters from the road, by a massive SUV which transported a pretty important Russian politician whose brain was a battlefield for cocaine and alcohol which had serious territorial debates, wanting to occupy more and more active regions. Despite the fact that he was escorted, he wanted to drive, and make silly moves to increase the mood of the two prostitutes he was with. By the time he came to himself, the five grandpas were in very bad condition, with serious injuries, 3rd degree burns, liver, lungs were affected.

It was a scandal, and no scandal is welcome to a man in the Russian guy’s position, so they covered the whole story.

Remember the last wish the grandpas had before the accident? It came true. The surgeries cost the politician a fortune, but now the guys had new skins, new faces, new lungs, livers, new hearts and above all: new identities. There was only one thing that was taken-their driving licenses.

The bursts of joy were indescribable, they couldn’t sleep for 1 month, were partying continuously trying out their new functional penises.

After they spend some time wasting money and sperm cells, they came to the conclusion, that, now’s the turning point, and they have to start to invest time in something constructive. This time they won’t make the mistake to run for the American Dream ending up joyless, they not only want to uplift their level of joy, but also the ones of others… soy they founded a rock band-The Relative Band.

It is obvious that it’s not a pure rock band, it also has ingredients of rapcore, funk, alternative, and here and there some pretty unusual vocal sequences.

From this position, the members declare that any critique will be carefully analyzed to see whether or not it contains seeds for growth, and any positive feedback will be internalized and transformed into explosive feelings to enhance the required creativity for further inspiring audio-stimulation.


P.S. If you land in the situation where it’s difficult for you to recognize one band member, and if you think he was replaced, we tell you that it isn’t the case, it’s probably because of some new surgery one of the members may have had.


Weak Head
Rudimental Mental Mentor
Bad itch
Mental Holiday
Rotation of connotation
I represent bass
We minute