Satan's Candy

Satan's Candy

BandRockPunk

You're gonna love us 'cuz we look so sweet, but if you look closer, you'll get a nasty treat. We're cute on the outside, but if you bite in, you'll soon discover that we're full of SIN! 'Cuz we're SATAN'S CANDY!

Biography

Combine a shot of L7 with a Ramones chaser and you get Satan's Candy. With the fierce ROARsome banging the skins, guitar goddess Elisa Thunderfingers, and Das Duchess Karolka on bass, Satan's Candy hits below the belt and leaves you breathless.

A Satan's Candy show has glitz, glam, safety pins, and rock 'n roll swagger. The gals in the band are as sweet and sassy as the name implies. ROARsome is a successful fashion designer and store owner, Elisa Thunderfingers is an art curator, and Das Duchess Karolka runs a film director's office and writes a praised fashion blog. Together, the three play catchy rock and punk-tinged songs that you'll sing along with the first time you hear them.

What's the story?

ROAR and Das Duchess met in 2004 on the fashion show circuit before they started playing music together. In January 2007, they were looking for a guitar player when they met Thunderfingers at a Priestess show. Within a year, they wrote some killer songs. Their first show was to a sellout crowd and was mentioned in NOW Magazine. In their first five months of performing, Satan's Candy played Toronto's legendary El Mocambo and Bovine Sex Club.

Lyrics

Cougs Rule

Written By: Satan's Candy

Hey little boy,
I've got somethin' to say.
Grab all your toys
Because I wanna play.
I'll teach you things
All night and all day.
Rule number one:
How to be a good lay.

Cougs Rule!
Cougs Rule!
We're gonna pick you up at school!
Your friends will drool,
They'll think you're cool,
So hop in the car
'Cuz Cougs Rule!

I'm better than
Most girls of your age.
Cougars are not
On a feeling rampage.
If there's a girl
We won't feel any rage.
Rule number two:
No emotional engage.

Cougs Rule!
Cougs Rule!
We're gonna pick you up at school!
Your friends will drool,
They'll think you're cool,
So hop in the car
'Cuz Cougs Rule!

Hey baby boy
Heat up the slow burn.
I'm gonna make
Your whole wide world turn.
But there are more
Who should feel what you yearn.
Rule number three:
Is share what you learn.

Cougs Rule!
Cougs Rule!
We're gonna pick you up at school!
Your friends will drool,
They'll think you're cool,
So hop in the car
'Cuz Cougs Rule!

A hotter pair
There's never been.
I always know
When you're ready and keen.
I'll satisfy you
Before we hit the scene.
But
Rule number four:
Make sure he's eighteen.

Cougs Rule!
Cougs Rule!
We're gonna pick you up at school!
Your friends will drool,
They'll think you're cool,
So hop in the car
'Cuz Cougs Rule!

Hey little boy...mamma's got somethin' to show ya...

6 Pack and a Blowjob

Written By: Satan's Candy

We're here to tell you that the rumours are true
Many girls have tried but they don't have clue
They can't provide in the way that we do
Satan's Candy knows how to see a job through

6 pack and blowjob
Feels so good, goes for so long
If he's worth it and does no wrong
Gets a 6 pack and blowjob

It could be a dark larger
It could be a light beer
He can have it in the bedroom
He can watch in the mirror
It doesn't really matter if it's day or if it's night
No one could do it better
He deserves it all the time

6 pack and blowjob
Feels so good, goes for so long
If he's worth it and does no wrong
Gets 6 pack and blowjob

6 pack and a blowjob

6 pack and a blowjob

6 pack and a blowjob

He gets a 6 pack of beer and a good blowjob

A 6 pack of beer and a great blowjob

Ode to Jager

Written By: Satan's Candy

Me and the girls in the neighbourhood;
Drinkin' Jagermeister and we're up to no good.
She looks good and you know she could;
She looks BAD and you KNOW that she would!

Ja-ger, Ja-ger!
Ja-ger-mei-ster!
Drink up, Fall Down!
Ja-ger-mei-ster!
Skirt up, Pants Down!
Ja-ger-mei-ster!

Dancin on the table, feelin' no shame;
Crawlin' across the floor and I'm feelin' no pain!
Ridin' the line between the porcelain throne
Or hoppin' in a cab on his lap home!

Ja-ger, Ja-ger!
Ja-ger-mei-ster!
Drink up, Fall Down!
Ja-ger-mei-ster!
Skirt up, Pants Down!
Ja-ger-mei-ster!

Oh no...
Don't Stop!
Don't Stop!

Don't Stop, Don't Stop, Don't Stop the Jager!
Don't Stop, Don't Stop, Don't Stop the Jager!
Don't Stop, Don't Stop, Don't Stop the Jager!
Don't Stop, Don't Stop, Don't Stop the Jager!

Now it's time to thank Metallica;
For bringin' this drink to all of ya.
Raise a glass and give a toast
To the drink that we love most!

Ja-ger, Ja-ger!
Ja-ger-mei-ster!
Drink up, Fall Down!
Ja-ger-mei-ster!
Skirt up, Pants Down!
Ja-ger-mei-ster!

Don't Stop!

Discography

3-Song Demo:
Cougs Rule
6 Pack and a Blowjob
Ode to Jager

Set List

Satan's Candy Theme Song
Fashion Up Your Ass
Dance Off
Cougs Rule
6 Pack and a Blowjob
Demon Lover
Botox Boutique
Our Love is a Horror Show
Ode to Jager