Shirley Gnome
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Shirley Gnome

Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada | Established. Jan 01, 2009 | SELF | AFM

Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada | SELF | AFM
Established on Jan, 2009
Solo Comedy Country

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This band has not uploaded any videos

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"ED2013 Comedy Review: Shirley Gnome (Heartichoke Arts)"

This is everything you want from a late night comedy show; frivolous, embarrassing and simply brilliant. Hailing from Vancouver and equipped with the voice of a goddess, the burlesque comedy singer-songwriter takes the audience on a musical journey, with the running themes of sex and toilet humour. Glittered up, wearing a pink hat and shining brightly on stage, Gnome shows that she doesn’t take herself too seriously with her pixie-like, naughty numbers about periods and anal sex. She takes a lot of her song-writing influence from country music, and at times it is difficult to hear such a stunningly beautiful voice singing about farting and tampons, but maybe that’s the whole point. Definitely not one for the easily offended! - Three Weeks


"Shirley Gnome"

Shirley Gnome is a straight-talking, country-singing diva from Vancouver who spends an hour forcing a crowd of unsuspecting and bewildered fans between her comedy sheets. She even has a cowboy hat and boots to make the hat-trick of innuendo possible ('reverse cowgirl', and 'knocking boots' in case you weren't sure).

Shirley lets the audience in on the romantic moments that have shaped her life through original songs and even rats out a few of her friends who have had rather embarrassing and explicit experiences. With a warm, chatty manner and razor-sharp wit (shutting a heckler up with lightning speed), Shirley has the audience on her side immediately. Shirley's talent is obvious when she manages to persuade a group of burly Englishmen to belt out the chorus of a song about fellatio. She should definitely be applauded for this achievement alone.
You might think that a show based almost entirely around penis jokes would get old after a while but Shirley's hilarious anecdotes and amazing voice ensure that the audience are in hysterics until the last gasp. The genius of her act is that she is bold enough to make mention of problems and insecurities that everyone has but that your average Brit would be too scared to even think about, let alone sing about. Let's be honest, who hasn't woken up with glitter on their private parts and no idea how it got there?

Shirley Gnome's show is an absolute hoot for anyone who has ever been dumped or fired, anyone who is intrigued by nude beaches and anyone who wonders what it would be like if the Dixie Chicks stopped singing about fields and sunsets and indulged in some good old-fashioned smut. - Broadway Baby


"MONTREAL FRINGE 2014: SHIRLEY GNOME"

When British Columbia hailing comic-country singer Shirley Gnome kicked off her 10:30 show at Petit Campus last night (actually this one was her second song) with a tune about a special hipster, namely a “hot new trend hiding in (her) pants” – yes you guessed it – her “hipster vagina,” I knew I would be spending the next hour scrambling to jot down lyrics that were just too good to go unremembered.

In her pink cowboy hat, polka dot dress, and bleach blonde hair, she’s part country, part unapologetically dirty standup comic, and let it not go forgotten, part kickass musician (which she reminded us of when she dished some pretty impressive country pipes at the end of each song). Her songs topics covered porn (this was an especially prevalent theme), animal sexual rituals, and Neil Young’s balls- so pretty much your standard country fare.

Where she really shined was when she managed to sneak a bit of serious into her jokes- just enough to make the song sting a little. Her song ‘Am I a Hooker,’ in which she muses about having slept with a wealthy man who paid her with a greasy breakfast in return the next morning, shined in this sense. In this tune she ruminates about the status of the vagina as “nature’s wallet” and ultimately coins herself as a “hooker for positive change.” Go Shirley. Take a look at her website for some seriously funny C*untry jams, and get your FRINGE tickets here. - Bloody Underrated


"Montreal FRINGE-COMA 2014 – SHIRLEY GNOME: SHE’S PRESENTING"

A dash to my second venue of the night…it was my last evening of shows at the 2014 Montreal Fringe Festival, and my schedule was a bit tightly packed. And if that’s any sort of accidental double-entendre, I blame it on the influence of the lady whose show I saw that night. Any person selling commemorative sex-towels as merchandise is BOUND to put a naughty idea or two in your head.
The show was SHIRLEY GNOME: SHE’S PRESENTING, taking place at Montreal’s petit campus venue just off St.Laurent. I got my complimentary pink clip-on mini-cowboy hat at the door from the lady herself, just before I bought a beer and took my cabaret-style seat at the wonderfully dingy club and waited for the fun to begin. Shirley herself soon took to the stage, making her own introductions and carrying a sweet guitar. A musical revue-style show, Shirley is a really funny and engaging host as she belts out her retinue of songs, each one dirtier and funnier than the last…well, okay, the opening song MASTURBATION OVER BREAKFAST may actually have ended up as my fav’rit, but there’s something for every different kind of pervert in Shirley’s considerable bag of tricks. Animals? Got it. Fucking while stoned? Covered. Sexually attracted to a friend? Shirley will guide you through that tricky situation with a song and a smile.

Shirley’s a clever and prolific songwriter and has an amazing voice that makes even the filthiest lyric go down like a nice cold beer. Her mid-song repartee is top-notch too, and WILL make you want to have a drink or ten with her, and soon. And did I mention that, as I was writing this review, she got nominated for a Canadian Comedy Award? So yeah…the lady’s funny, too. Like, DAMN funny. My one regret from the show is that I had to run out so fast to my next show I didn’t have the chance to buy any merch. If she ever makes it to Ottawa to steam the capitol up a few degrees, I’ll correct that mistake. Peace, love and soul, - The Visitorium


"REVIEW: Shirley Gnome – She’s Presenting! (Montreal Fringe)"

Shirley Gnome – She’s Presenting was not at all what I was expecting. And that’s a good thing. Fringe Festivals are great because you get a whole spectrum of shows to see, the analogy we’ve used a lot over the past four years of covering Fringe shows is that you could technically be paying to watch someone read from a telephone book. (Do those even exist anymore?)


While anything goes, there are some types of shows that I don’t particularly like. They are the shows that literally just consist of a musical artist or a standup comedian getting up and doing one straight hour of their own material like at a comedy club or a musical venue. They scrap the notion of putting together a story and just get on stage and do what they do, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. In Shirley Gnomes case, dear God it works over and over and over again.

s PresentingShirley Gnome sings dirty country songs about penises and vaginas and while it sounds juvenile to say, it’s actually gut-busting funny. She embodies the musical talent of a seasoned stage musician and the wit and cunning of a pro standup comedian. She has an amazing voice and makes amazing music. Her music tells a story, albeit a dirty one, yet still manages to come off as charming.

Shirley Gnome sings about choosing masturbation over breakfast in the morning, how she has a hipster vagina and the horrid sex dreams she finds herself having sometimes. She travels through the world of having sex while stoned which includes an exploration of incest and spiders being ejaculated via the penis. Ultimately what I’m trying to say is Taylor Swift, eat your heart out… although I’m sure Gnome would surely take this opportunity to sing about eating something else out instead…

Not to be outdone by herself she also serenades the audience on a list of different animal mating rituals that is just brilliant. Gnome truly creates a concert setting that would really only work at a Fringe Festival and I, along with every other member of the audience, had an amazing time.

rate-5-copyShirley Gnome – She’s Presenting is brash, crass and loaded with bold sexual deviance and I loved every second of it. If she’s looking for groupies I can make myself available! - Onstage Ottawa


"Shirley Gnome brings her provocative music back to Vancouver"

Gnome’s musical comedy had the crowd laughing in female solidarity

At 8:00 p.m. on a Saturday night, my boyfriend and I found ourselves at Little Mountain Gallery, an intimate, down-to-earth venue on a side street off of Main. The next street light was 20 metres down the road. The odd car passed by every so often; other than that, it was relatively quiet, with the occasional laugh from a nearby cafe drifting lazily across the night air.

There was a completely different vibe inside the gallery — that of the perfect intimate theatre. We were enveloped in positive energy that radiated off of the bare walls, hummed beneath the music, and burst forth from exuberant conversations taking place around the room. We were right on time for the show, but there were still people trickling in.

Shirley Gnome stood by the ticket booth and welcomed us, excitedly recognizing The Peak and offering me a small clip-on pink hat. It was a miniature version of her own sparkling cowboy hat, and every woman in the room was wearing one; for 90 minutes, we all sat in smiling, laughing, female solidarity.

Shirley Gnome wowed me — and just about everyone else in the room — with her stunning personality and gorgeous voice. Gnome gives off a very light-hearted vibe that pulls all those in the room together. She would purposely mess up on camera (it was a live recorded show), joking that they could always edit it out later. You know you’ve got a commanding, likeable presence up on stage when you can get the entire room to erupt into enthusiastic, loud farts in amazing synchrony on command.

I can’t speak highly enough of Gnome’s voice; she was so versatile, able to sing anything from songs with a country spin to soft rock and pop. She captured the entire room from the very first note she let out. She was preceded by Scarborough, a singer-songwriter who impressed the crowd with his improvised songs about household items, and gave her just as much praise as the average audience member.

What makes her truly talented is her keen and discerning consciousness about the world, which really shines through in her lyrics. The greatest compliment you can pay a writer is to tell them that they listen well, and Gnome definitely listens to what the world is telling her. She skilfully gleans social norms, cues, and mannerisms from conversations with friends, and from random observations of the most normal, everyday situations, giving birth to her brilliant, subversive, and ironic lyrics.

The show was pure gold, flowing through the audience and making us all feel rich. Don’t be fooled by the most obvious theme of her albums, with titles such as C*untry Music; even though all of her songs are about sex, most of them have really positive messages, and are downright hilarious. I can’t really say more without giving too much away, but during those 90 minutes, we heard songs about bad sex dreams and glittery vaginas (literally). Shirley Gnome is a magical musical wonder. Look out for her; she’s a star on the rise. - The Peak


"Edinburgh Fringe 2013 Shirley Gnome"

I was warned this was a show full of sexual themes, so , not wanting to come too early I slipped in the back door dressed for business .
I was worried that I wouldn’t last an hour once Shirley’s vocal caresses, fingerstyle and strumming started but she eased us in gently with her ‘Penis Hand’ , a song about not washing after having sex!

After that it was easy to settle into the rhythm of her performance – Shirley’s banter making the audience warm to her infectiously.
The darkest point of the evening was probably the beautifully written ‘I’m really getting into porn’ – I’ve heard many songs about sexual perversions but this one really pissed all over them.

The climax of the show for me was ‘ring of fire’ a sweet romantic number about losing one’s anal virginity. We now understand how she hits those high notes and where those vocal gymnastics were born.
What better way to end a performance like this than with a sing-a-long called ‘Men like to come on my face’, I think even the Shirley herself was surprised by the gusto and verve shown by the male members of the audience who rose up to meet the challenge.

If you’re offended by any of the words I’ve just deleted for fear of offending you then this is not the show for you – definitely do NOT bring the kids!

If you fancy a wild evening of sexually fuelled country rock then get yourself along to see Shirley Gnome who seems very happy here in Edinburgh – a Gnome-coming if ever there was one! - Fringe Review


"Shirley Gnome is a c*untry gal who aims to offend"

THE QUESTION FOR Shirley Gnome is a simple but perfectly valid one: how do you know when you’ve gone too far? There are many (upstanding Christians, professional censors, and your mom) who would argue that the East Van–based singer has no idea where the line is on her just-released sophomore record, C*untry Music.

In all fairness, it’s hard to blame them.

Consider Gnome’s delicately titled “Assflower”, a doo-wop torch song that has her wondering how to best celebrate the end of a three-week vacation fling. Determined to give her lover something she’s been saving her whole life, she decides to say “Fuck it” and take it up the poop chute for the first time. Sample lyrics? How about: “Christian teens they love the fact that they keep their chastity intact/So let’s go to heaven, let’s give it a try/If Jesus loves anal then why can’t I?” And on the more delicate front: “I just bought some lube/And I just took a shit.”

The outrageousness doesn’t stop there. Half soft acoustic guitars and campfire harp, and half Texas two-step, “Menage a Twat” has a reluctant Gnome rebuffing a threesome with: “I don’t care how drunk I am the vag is a nasty place/It’s like a baby slug crawled into a peach, and the peach began to rot.” That’s followed by: “And it rolled under the couch and it got covered in hair/And the bitch somehow she found it and she shoved it in her underwear.”

As for “Go Fuck Yourself”, that one will be self-explanatory to any guy who’s ever come home at 1 in the morning convinced that he’s going to get some, no matter how comatose his partner looks. It’s all comedy gold—assuming, of course, you see the humour in South Park, The Onion, National Lampoon, and everything ever released by the Farrelly brothers. And if some of it goes too far, that’s exactly the point.

“I usually try to put one line in every song that’s totally over the line, and then I reel it back,” Gnome says. “There’s always one line where I take it too far. And I like that. I figure you gotta offend somebody, or you’re probably not doing your job.”

Looking fabulously trashier than Kid Rock on a gorgeous fall day, the singer is kicking back in her East Vancouver back yard with the Straight, wearing a pink sun hat, what may or may not be a blond wig, and a Shirley Gnome shirt that reads “I chose masturbation over breakfast.” As she peppers her conversation with language that would impress a trucker with Tourette’s, a small child plays just over the fence next door.

Quite rightly, Gnome notes that when she does manage to make someone squirm, it usually says more about the person doing the squirming than it does about her.

“I have a song that ends with me, as a character, singing about getting herpes from a relationship that’s broken up,” the singer says with a laugh. “There’s a couple of times where that joke has really made people uncomfortable, but it’s different with every crowd. It’s like you’re taking samplings of people’s STDs I guess. Sometimes people will be like, ‘Whooaaa.’ But that doesn’t bother me because I don’t think having herpes is that big of a deal.”

The singer has no problem nailing down the day when she officially started, as Hank Williams III would say, putting the cunt back in country and the dick back in Dixie. A friend needed musical accompaniment for a burlesque show at the WISE Hall on April 14, 2009, and Gnome was happy to oblige, having spent years kicking around material at home.

“I’ve always written silly, somewhat smutty songs, probably for 8 or 9 years,” she says. “When I started playing the guitar, it was one of the first things I did. I had one song for four years, and my friends would laugh hysterically about that—they loved that I only had one song. I never meant for it to become an actual project until my friend asked me to sing that song at a burlesque show.

“I went up,” Gnome continues, “not as Shirley, but as a nameless performer, and it went over so well that people kept asking ‘Where’s your CD?’ So I thought, ‘Well, I should write more of these and make an actual album.’ ”


Shirley Gnome sits down with the Georgia Straight.

That would lead to the release of 2009’s Ho Down, featuring such NSFW tracks as “Men Like to Come on My Face”, “Blew My Load”, and “Penis Hand”. A foray into comedy clubs followed, with her song-based routine eventually landing her first place (and a $20,000 cheque) this year in Patrick Maliha’s the People’s Champ of Comedy Competition. With C*untry Music, Gnome shows no interest in retooling her show for a family audience, which explains country-gold tunes like “Five Boner Night”, “The Fucking Song”, and the ode to tiny twangers that is “James and the Giant Peach”.

The singer is evasive about what she gets up to when she’s not writing the kind of material that fits right in between Ween’s “Piss Up a Rope” and David Allen Coe’s “Cum Stains on the Pillow”. In addition to having great, soulful pipes, she knows what she’s doing as a songwriter. The tunes on C*untry Music are professionally recorded and smartly arranged by crack musicians. That Gnome was determined to get things right says something about her musical diet during her younger years: she’s studied the pros.

“I basically started playing the guitar because of Adam Sandler—I got one of his records as a child,” Gnome admits. “My parents did not censor me from it, and I’m very happy about that. South Park is another thing—all the music from their movies is fucking hilarious.”

Fucking hilarious also works as a catchy, all-purpose tag for Gnome, and the singer acknowledges that she’s onto something. The only downside to the way things have started to take off is that, on at least a couple of occasions, she’s found herself saddled with the kind of folks who seem determined to put the cunt in country music fans.

“From the small exposure that I’ve gotten from this, I realize that I could have a pretty good cult following,” she says. “I already kind of do. There are some people who are obsessively fan-ish, and then some who are terrifying. They come to shows totally drunk, screaming the lyrics out to where they get in the way of the show.

“Whatever I’m doing, they are liking it on a level that’s satisfying them deep inside,” Gnome continues. “Maybe it’s making a lot of crazy people feel normal. I don’t think some people are able to separate the songs from me. It’s all the same thing to them. As cartoonish as I am, I am a real person.”

A real person who happens to write lyrics like the following “Mementos of Love” lines: “Well I changed the sheets again/And my heart just filled with pain/From that time that you hit my G-spot/And we both made that nasty stain.” Too far? That’s your problem, not Shirley Gnome’s. - The Georgia Straight


Discography

Ho Down (2009)

C*untry Music (2012)

The Lady of the Night (2015)

Photos

Bio

Shirley Gnome is musical comedian and songwriter, belts out original tunes about the embarrassing, profound, and hilarious adventures that happen when bodies collide. Her music, while smothered in explicit language and racy humor, is sung with the voice of "an angel dry-humping a cloud." Sometimes tongue-in-cheek, othertimes provocative and honest, Shirley weaves a live show that has people in hysterics - often in spite of themselves.

She won over audiences all over Vancouver to become Patrick Maliha's The People Champ of Comedy Competition 2012 Grand Prize Winner, taking home $20,000. She continued this success with critically acclaimed shows at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and the St. Ambroise Montreal Fringe Festival. Her latest success came in the form of a nomination this year for a Canadian Comedy Award for Best Variety Act. 

Shirley will be continuing her relentless touring schedule in 2015 with shows in New York City (Frigid Theatre Festival), The Edmonton Fringe Festival, and more. With two albums under her belt, and a live album to be released in February, Shirley continues to delight, shock, and amuse audiences wherever she can.

Praise For Shirley:

"In her pink cowboy hat, polka dot dress, and bleach blonde hair, she’s part country, part unapologetically dirty standup comic, and let it not go forgotten, part kickass musician... Where she really shined was when she managed to sneak a bit of serious into her jokes- just enough to make the song sting a little." -Bloody Underrated

"Shirley’s a clever and prolific songwriter and has an amazing voice that makes even the filthiest lyric go down like a nice cold beer. Her mid-song repartee is top-notch too, and WILL make you want to have a drink or ten with her, and soon." -Visitorium

"★★★★" 

"This is everything you want from a late night comedy show; frivolous, embarrassing and simply brilliant. Hailing from Vancouver and equipped with the voice of a goddess, the burlesque comedy singer-songwriter takes the audience on a musical journey..." -Three Weeks

"★★★"

"With a warm, chatty manner and razor-sharp wit (shutting a heckler up with lightning speed), Shirley has the audience on her side immediately.... Shirley's hilarious anecdotes and amazing voice ensure that the audience are in hysterics until the last gasp. The genius of her act is that she is bold enough to make mention of problems and insecurities that everyone has but that your average Brit would be too scared to even think about, let alone sing about." -Broadway Baby

"I can’t speak highly enough of Gnome’s voice; she was so versatile, able to sing anything from songs with a country spin to soft rock and pop... She skillfully gleans social norms, cues, and mannerisms from conversations with friends, and from random observations of the most normal, everyday situations, giving birth to her brilliant, subversive, and ironic lyrics. The show was pure gold, flowing through the audience and making us all feel rich." -The Peak

"In addition to having great, soulful pipes, she knows what she’s doing as a songwriter. The tunes on C*untry Music are professionally recorded and smartly arranged by crack musicians. That Gnome was determined to get things right says something about her musical diet during her younger years: she’s studied the pros." - The Georgia Straight

Band Members