Stew Moss

Stew Moss

BandBluesComedy

Stew Moss is the only one man band within 500 miles of Amarillo Texas. Originator of the musical style known as High Plaines Blues Stew packs a one two punch of country and blues talent. A true vaudevillian with solid songs sure to cut every head "I'm on my way to some national exposure"

Biography

Who is Stew Moss
Stew Moss is a “One-Man-Band” who’s CDs have been popular all over the world. Having a versatile blues voice and a distinctive finger-picking guitar, Stew is a seasoned performer. Add in a foot drum and harmonica you get a “One-Man-Band” show that has been attracting attention for years. Having outlived many music establishments in and around Amarillo, Texas and after outlasting “fly by night” independent record labels, Stew has embarked on a personal project. A follow up to his 1998 release the still popular “Big Red Gal” CD. “Little Green Men” is to be released on the lowercase Records label in March with the working title Roswell Stew.
Stew will be playing at the 2010 Amazing Roswell UFO Festival July 1-3rd in Roswell New Mexico see website
http://www.ufofestivalroswell.com/ufo/
for more info.
What is Roswell Stew?
“Roswell Stew” a humorous look at the UFO phenomenon through the eyes of High Plains Bluesman Stew Moss.
Stew has spent the past year writing and recording new light hearted songs inspired by Roswell, New Mexico and the UFO pop-culture phenomenon. If you like to laugh and you like aliens then this is the perfect souvenir to take home from the 2010 Roswell UFO Festival. Ranging in theme from genetic mutation to alien abduction to extra terrestrial love, Stew’s well crafted lyrics and catchy tunes are guaranteed to excite your senses and bring a smile to your face for years after the festival.

Lyrics

They only came down to take a Wii

Written By: Stew Moss

They only came down to take a Wii. They only came to earth to take a Wii
So they took a trip in a flying saucer ship beyond the Sea of Tranquility.

He said we only came down to take a Wii.
But when I showed him to my lavatory.
He pointed at the toilet and the water started boiling.
Then he turned and looked at me.
(bridge)
They said I am just a little green man and I have a very tiny little hand
The other video game controls are way to hard for me to hold. So…

They only came down to take a Wii
When the ones they have outlive there warranty
Then they come to planet earth from the planet of there birth
In another galaxy

They only come down to take a Wii Not an X-Box or a PS-P
Now they been driving all day from about a million miles away
So lets practice some diplomacy

(bridge)
Before they go they’ll have some fun destroying humans one by one
De-feat-ing you at video games kicking butt… “You guys don’t have butts”
And taking names…”How do you say your name again” (sound fx)

They only come here to take a Wii
But they said that they have room for me.
‘Till I see the earth again See ya later human friends
And wont be beck again, till we need to take a Wii

Big Red Gal

Written By: Stew Moss

Virse. 1
As I was walking down Bourbon Street, a Big Red Gal I chanced to meet.
I could see her from a hundred yards. Have mercy that girl was large. She had the
Red Red hair & the freckled face.
Big wide hips all over the place.
Grate big booby’s and a southern smile. Lord have mercy she was driving me wild.
Ill wait, all night, for that Big Red Gal of mine.

Verse. 2
I walked over and I took her hand, She said “Dad, I got another man.
It didn’t seem to mean to much.
I guess she needs a little strangers touch.
Even though she was big and fat,
That mama knew where it was at.
And even though she had another guy, I didn’t mind being 2nd in line.
I’ll wait, all night, For that Big Red Gal of mine.

Bridge

I took her home to my place baby we had a real good time
Eating mashed potatoes and gravy, we made whoopee for a long long time

Verse. 2
Even though she was big and fat I never knew a woman could move like that
I went to hug her when we got through. I said “Hay pretty babe I want to marry you!”
She said “No way I got to get back. My ol-man’s waiting at the shotgun shack.”
I said “Babe I don’t understand.” She said “You aint nothing but the back door man.”
All rite. Goodnight. You Big Red Gal of mine.
Interlude
“Look out now here she comes. All four hundred seventy five and s half pounds of her. Chewing on a chicken leg. She got a little poodle dog at her feet. She’s wearing a red dress and it’s knocking me out! The Big Red Gal of mine.

I aint seen her since I don’t know when. I’d sure like to get together again.
She said she call me when she got back home. I been a- waiting by the telephone.
For the little bitty feet the great big thighs the double wide seat the big brown eye.
She got the freckled face the Double D bra. She buys her cloths at the big and tall.
I don’t know if I’ll ever see her again but Lord have mercy I remember when
I spent the night with that Big Red Gal of Mine

The Monkey Song

Written By: Stew Moss

Now let me tell the story about the laboratory
and the monkey in the cage with cocaine.
They Gave him all he wanted and all he had to do
was to tug on the monkey food chain.
The monkey pulled the chain and the cocaine started rainin,
the monkey he got oh so high.
But then he got so loaded his monkey hart exploded,
And this is what he said before he died.

He said,
Iv done too much cocaine. Iv done too much cocaine.
And now it done have took my monkey life.
So good by monkey mama, and good by monkey pop,
Good by monkey children, monkey wife.
Iv done too much cocaine. Iv done too much cocaine.
And now it scrambled up my monkey brain .
And all I got to say is people keep away
From all that funky monkey cocaine.

Now let me tell you something about that monkeys cousin the one they call the old chimpanzee.
They gave him marijuana and put him on the couch in front of the M-TV.
They gave him Coca Cola and that remote controller the monkey got oh so high.
But fifteen minutes later he was a couch potato and he didn’t move again until he died.
Because he...(Chorus)
Now late one Sunday evening while every one was sleeping the monkeys started talking in bed. “I-I-EE-I”
And thats when they decided that they were going to riot and pay those people back for what they did.
One monkey stold a pistol one monkey stold the keys one monkey started howling attack “I-I--E-EYE”
They went out on a binge they got out for revenge and they started climbing every bodes back.

Last Chorus
I got a monkey on my back, a monkey on my back
And now it done have took my funky life
So good by monkey mama good by monkey pop
Good by monkey children monkey wife.
I got a monkey on my back, a monkey on my back
And now I’m afrade my bones are going to crack
And nothing I can say will make it go away.
And nothing I can do but send him home with you.
So help me get this monkey off my back

Midnight Lucy

Written By: Stew Moss

Midnight Lucy
By Stew Moss

Lucy Lives in a red house. Lucy looks ‘oh so fine.
Midnight lover, under cover, she’s sweeter than the fruit of the vine.
She got a rose tattoo. She keeps it out of view.
But I give her candy and treat her right, she might let me see it on a Saturday Night.
(chorus)
She’s poor but honest, naughty but nice
Hot as a pistol and cold as ice.
She’s got a heart as big as a house.
Midnight Lucy you knock me out.

Lucy comes over to my house. Lucy don’t like my dog.
He makes her squeal she makes him feel as ugly as an old toad frog.
She likes to play the Dr. She’s got good advice
She’ll pull the rug from under her your feet and the wool rite over your eyes

(chorus)
She’s poor but honest, naughty but nice
Hot as a pistol and cold as ice.
She’s got a heart as big as a house.
Midnight Lucy you knock me out.

Lucy’s got a brother named Linus, Linus don’t like me none
He’s allways lien always trying to keep us from having fun.
But I’ll see Lucy at midnight. We’re going to boogiy till three.
Knock on wood that’s pritty good for an old Charlie Brown like me.

(chorus)
She’s poor but honest, naughty but nice
Hot as a pistol and cold as ice.
She’s got a heart as big as a house.
Midnight Lucy you knock me out.

Discography

Going Back to Texas 1995
Big Red Gal 1998
The Plum 2002
King of the High Plaines Bluesmen 2009
Little Green Men 2010

Set List

Going Back to Texas.
Two Rabbets One Bike.
Im To Good Looking. Ugly Man Blues
The Sisters Grind
Mack Daddy
Im The Man
Big Red Gal
Kodiak Woman
CoCo Nut Rosy
Roswell Woman

To name a few.
Compleat catalogue coming soon.