Ted Hoagland

Ted Hoagland

BandPop

Ted Hoagland writes great songs: catchy yet enduring, original yet classic sounding. Performing both solo and with his band, Ted combines the heart of a folk singer with the charisma of a budding rock star. An authentic American voice in the tradition of Bob Dylan, Paul Simon, and Tom Waits.

Biography

Ted Hoagland grew up in a small town in southern Indiana, took up guitar at age 8, and has grown into the rare songwriter who can fuse compelling melodies with great lyrics and make it all seem easy. At home in a range of styles, he employs a broad musical palette to create colorful landscapes for his tales. Ranging from sweet to dirty, the guitar-based music is powered by distinctive hooks, backing a mercurial baritone voice. Lyrically, the songs combine natural storytelling and a wry sense of humor. He cites the influences of Bob Dylan, The Beatles, Mississippi John Hurt, Randy Newman, Louis Armstrong, Tom Waits, Paul Simon, and Radiohead.

Ted Hoagland moved to Santa Barbara in the late 90s and began writing and performing solo. He released a well-received debut CD, Left Field, in 2001.

In 2003, Ted formed a band called The Hoagland Conspiracy to amplify his sound. Spanning a range of styles from to 70s funky rock to country to old-time inspired blues, each musical flavor supports the story and character of a given song. Pandemonium at their recent performance at the Earth Day Festival in Isla Vista was resounding proof of their appeal as a live act.

The Hoagland Conspiracy's self-titled debut CD presents a string of intriguing characters animated by Hoagland's voice. The arrangements and the production range from simple to lush, giving the listener multiple vantage points from which to experience the band.

Ted Hoagland performs regularly both on his own and with The Hoagland Conspiracy.

Lyrics

Home Alive

Written By: Ted Hoagland

My entrails like details
Left and forgotten
My saddle like a battle
Lost in the past
When they said skidattle
I came home fast

Came home alive
But not entirely well
Most folks couldn’t tell

My whistles like missiles
Long and round
My crying like spying
There’s a wall downtown
I served up some dying
They said stand down

Sent me home alive
But not entirely well
Most folks couldn’t tell

My noodle like a bugle
Bright as day
My desire like a cease fire
Carved in clay
They brokered my peace
I ran away

Came home alive
But not entirely well
Most folks couldn’t tell

Salesman

Written By: Ted Hoagland

I was born without a father
Raised on mama’s pride
She said believe in what you’re selling son
And look them in the eye

High school wasn’t teaching much
I had to graduate myself
Went off into America
To accumulate some wealth

Chorus:
I’m a traveling salesman
I work from door to door
And I’m the last you’ll ever see
They don’t make us anymore
One day I’ll come knocking
‘Cause I’ve got what you need
Right here in this shiny box
Satisfaction guaranteed

I started out with vacuums
Then it was those knives
I sold clichés and better days
To nice Midwestern wives

I get up in the morning
Choose from my three ties
Grab the rear view mirror
And I say into my eyes

Repeat Chorus

Vocal Ad Lib

Third Chorus:
I’m a traveling salesman
I work from door to door
And I’m the last you’ll ever see
They don’t make us anymore
One day I’ll be famous
Living out my dream
Own a condo on the beach
And sell stuff on TV

Go Easy On Me

Written By: Ted Hoagland

Go easy on me
On our first date
If I show up on time
When I should have been late
If I don't seem to notice
Your brand new dress
If I shaved three times
But my hair is a mess
If I call your mom Betty
When her name is Bess
I'm askin’ go easy on me

Go easy on me
If I act like a fool
Whenever I'm with you
I can't keep my cool
I swear that I'm suave
Most of the time
But you've got me out of my mind

If I take you out dancin’
And step on your feet
If I write you a letter
When I live down the street
If I bring you a daisy
Instead of a rose
If I tell you I love you
With food on my nose
If I start telling stories
I already told
I'm askin’ go easy on me

The first time I met you
I thanked my heart for beating
I thanked God for cheating
And makin’ you

Go easy on me
If I'm down on my knees
Waxing romantic
Unbearable cheese
If I'm under your window
But I can't sing
If I wrote you a poem
And forgot the whole thing
If I reach for my pocket
And there's no ring
I'm askin’, I'm beggin’ go easy on me

Indian Summer

Written By: Ted Hoagland

Spread the word light up the fire
Tonight we’re gonna push it just a little bit higher

Sleepy Fred’s the first one in
Arms all full of something he’s got up to his chin

Small town Sue, smiles like a beam
Brought her best friend and some cans of whipped cream

Bicep Bob, backs through the door
Don’t go out for nothing cause he bought out the store

Chorus:
Indian Summer keeping us warm
As the sun falls out of the sky
We’ll catch it on the other side

Thrift store Jane, so glad she came
Brought her horned-rimmed humor and a couple of games

Hightop Hal, here come the jokes
Baring his new tattoo with a fresh pack of smokes

Lands End John, just in time
Straight into the kitchen with a bunch of cheap wine

Spindle Sam, we’ll be up late
Keeps his party vinyl in a four gallon crate

Chorus

Barefoot Kim, bumming along
Drops a watermelon as she ditches her thongs

Charlie Freak, bald as a peach
Dragging in some driftwood that he scored at the beach

Toolbelt Tom, approaches the scene
He aint even here yet we can hear his machine

Gorgeous Gwen, looking so nice
Had the good sense to bring a fresh bag of ice

Discography

"Flush" Single 2007 - Appears on Oniric Records compilation called Solutions for Dreamers, Vol. 2.
The Hoagland Conspiracy LP 2005 - Songs from the LP have yielded over 2000 (legitimate) plays on MySpace.com/TheHoaglandConspiracy. "Indian Summer" and "Turn It On" received local radio play in Santa Barbara and Hawaii.
Left Field LP 2001 - "Go Easy On Me" and "Calvary Hill" received local radio play.

Set List

Ted plays 45 to 90 minute sets, depending on the venue, and can comfortably play for up to four hours. He plays mostly his own songs along with occasional covers such as (in a solo set): The Who (Drowned, Substitute), Bob Dylan (Shelter from the Storm, I'll Be Your Baby Tonight), Bob Marley (Redemption Song), Randy Newman (Political Science), The Beatles (I Will), Paul Simon (Keep the Customer Satisfied), Jim Croce (Car Wash Blues), etc. Covers in The Hoagland Conspiracy's set include songs by Mose Allison, Bob Dylan, Hank Williams, The Beatles, etc.