The Armchairs

The Armchairs

 Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA
BandPopChildren's Music

Like a violent flamingo in a hamster cage gone awry, these ebullient Fishtown youngsters grab their listeners with the vigor of 10 Norse gods.


Take a long wet second. Look deep within yourself, far into the reaches of your mental cobwebs. Spend some time here, simmering and plaintive, and you will realize that you already know The Armchairs quite well. They have been with you all along now, since your first steps as a toddler. Since your second grade spelling test. Just after your pet frog escaped and right before you learned how to tie your shoelaces. Here we've been, all along, waiting patiently. You're welcome...


Grampa Yells Portents at Strangers

Written By: The Armchairs

Mum & Pa: picking out their cotton garments carefully...
For their happy little accident, waiting in the wings so merrily...
Changing locks: keeping all the burglars from causing misery...

Kill the child! The demon child!

Little Sammy Ghetz

Written By: The Armchairs

No remorse at all, and no regrets!
"That's the way it goes," thought little Sammy Ghetz
"Wash away my loans and wash away my debts
Those lonesome woes and handsome bets"

"On down the drains, and off my chest
Can't fix my faults, but I'll surely try my best
Those ugly scars & beauty marks
Won't hang my head until it's dark"

"Can't shake away the monsters in my head
Came out to play from underneath the bed
Those ugly scars & beauty marks
Won't hang my head until it's dark"


Written By: The Armchairs

Gloria, your face has worn so thin
You don't even know what kind of state you're in
Husband is a ghost, he pays no mind
Grandson isn't there, he's biding his time

Roam the streets asking all for help
What do you need? You don't know yourself
The world around you never changes, it's just you
But to you the world is always something new...

Now you're stuck here all alone
Cigarettes done & children grown
Moldy chips & coffee grounds
Just waiting to stop your blood flow...


Science & Advice, our debut LP, can be found HERE:

Set List

Typical set is 30 - 60 minutes, 10 - 15 songs.
We like to switch it up from show to show.


- Grampa Yells Portents at Strangers
- The Freezer
- Solar Puff
- Space Freeloader
- Little Sammy Ghetz
- I'm No Rope
- Harrison Ford
- Thomas A. Swift's Electric Rifle
- Trees
- Bear Battles
- Gloria
- Shark!
- Mister Spider
- Mutant Cobra Family


- Owl Hands
- Nebraska
- Collapsing Spheres
- Waldo
- Sky Horse
- Sun Doesn't Melt
- The Cartoonist
- Iron Mtn
- Regular Soap
- Lost in a Dream
- Quarry Song
- Curse of the Land
- Children Everywhere
- Sweatshop Sockhop
- Starburn
- Chalk
- Canterberry Tales
- Whale Park
- An Encouraging Shout to Hunting Hounds