The Crash

The Crash


When Duran Duran meets the Jackson 5 in Wonderland.


The Crash

Pony Ride

“Pony Ride” is a spanking and sparkling new album by The Crash, ready-made for Party Girls and Disco Boys everywhere. But, if you find yourself falling somewhere between these two classic schools of hedonistic enjoyment, worry not friend, just slip into some groovy make-up and slap on a bowtie or ballgown, and you are good to go!

Described by someone, somewhere (we don’t care who) as “the band that happens when The Jackson 5 meets Duran Duran in Wonderland”, The Crash were not born just yesterday, you know. They are three albums old – that’s 21 in dog years. And they spent their teenage formative years wisely, honing, honing, honing, like a bullet-butted, bronzed Adonisette, learning to dance with Olivia Newton-John (did you also used to call her Olivia Nothing-On?) and playing along with Chic, London Suede, and Van Halen, praying daily at the Altar of Ziggy, just for luck. Until one day, like a butterfly from it’s old skin, or Oprah after a diet, The Crash emerged from it’s shiny, neon leotard and, after a hot shower (of course), snugged itself into it’s bestest clothes of all.

And here it all is now. “Pony Ride”. Fully formed. The real deal. Let’s explain some more….

Prince left his fingerprints somewhere on the title track that kicks off the album, while the band were busy “shagging by the fire”. Listen to it. It’ll make you smile. Then comes “Big Ass Love”. A song about a love that is, like, really big. For the full story, check out the cartoon hamsters that act out the tale in the video. They will make you smile too.

“Star (Solitudinarian)” is an old favourite, taken down off the shelf and polished up to shine like a…star. MTV liked this one.

How would we describe “Lauren Caught My Eye”? Hmm, ok, imagine Catherine Deneuve drinking café au lait with Vanessa Paradis in one of those idyllic, old-skool Parisian cafes (oh my god! Imagine that!). On the TV in the corner, Michel Platini is bending another beautiful free kick into a gaping goal, while Marcel Marceau is pretending to be a TV in the other corner. And if The Crash walked in and set up their gear, then “Lauren” would be the song they would play. And everyone in the café would smile and think it was a really cool thing to do.

But, if by now you are starting to think that these boys are just out for a good time, then now’s the time to think again. “Grace” is the place where they wheel out the Baby Grande, and the singer probably sits on a stool on stage to sing this one. You lot get out the lighters to sway, and we all take a deep breath and feel our hearts beating in glorious colours as this simple love song engulfs us as one. Sometimes it can be dangerous for the heart to be in the audience of The Crash.

We could go on, detail by detail of what to expect, but by now you should have got the picture. “Pony Ride”, like its rider, is here purely to make you feel good. To feel. To laugh and cry all at once. Like Disney sometimes does.

“Stay” should be a Eurovision winner. But a damn good one. “Stalker” is the twisted love song that continues, lyrically, where Sting didn’t dare go with “Every Breath You Take”. “Filthy Flower” sounds like it’s drunk. Happy drunk. Clean drunk. On wine and candy, not beer and fags. “Reasons To Sing” gives lots of reasons..To sing. And then we reach “Backstage”, bringing the curtain down in classic style. A song all about a band learning to write songs that they hope will be played on the radio, which will lead to playing concerts in stadiums, which will bring enough fame for them to finally get to meet their hero backstage. Not the most obvious way to go about meeting your idols but, then again, that’s The Crash for you.

So, from now on be shameless. Embrace unguilty pleasures. Enjoy the joy……