The Dos Spanish Flies

The Dos Spanish Flies

BandComedy

The Dos Spanish Flies are an explosive musical comedy duo blending the raw energy of KISS and the musical genius of Spinal Tap with a lavishly light dollop of José Feliciano’s romantic sensibility.

Biography

Ron Carlos and Eric Escobar have been friends since childhood. Growing up in the Red Light District of Madrid, Spain, they would stay up all night listening to Santana records and watching reruns of old Zorro movies. At the tender age of 8, they became Blood Brothers by carving a "Z" into each other's arm. The Brotherhood of the Zorro was the first incarnation of the inseparable duo.

Eric came from a privileged household. His father was a master guitar technician who frequently worked from home. Ron Carlos’s father drank tequila—A LOT—and often forced Ron Carlos to eat urinal cakes on his birthday. When Ron Carlos’s father was arrested for stealing the nacho cheese dispenser at a Siete-Once, Ron Carlos was sent to America to live with his Uncle Pedro and Aunt Puta.

Following his senior year at the Madrid Conservatory of Music, Eric toured Europe with his 3-piece ensemble, The Zorros. Ron Carlos’s Aunt and Uncle had been on the crest of their 17 year coke binge, when they sold Ron Carlos to a Mexican tourist for 14 dollars, 8 Quaaludes and a pair of salad tongs they used as back-scratchers.

When Eric makes the decision to go solo, his new project, The Zorro, spawns a Latin top 40 single and Eric is sent on a 20 city U.S. tour. Ron Carlos’s new indentured servitude leads him to Mexico were he is forced to make bongos in a Mexican sweatshop. Ron Carlos continues to play music and frequently sings old Spanish slave songs to keep up the morale and instill revolution.

Eric legally changes the name of his new act from The Zorro to Zorro causing tremendous confusion in the music community. Eric is set back yet again when his drummer Umberto Roberto quits before a gig in Los Angeles. Umberto is quoted as saying "Eric is the master of the axe. I can’t keep up." Eric’s tour is put on hiatus.

Ron Carlos, recovering from a shank to the neck, realizes his only chance to escape is to hide in one of the bongo crates being shipped to the United States. Ron Carlos seizes the opportunity when workers start a protest in the cafeteria by setting their cornbread on fire. In the confusion Ron Carlos packs himself away in a crate headed for the U.S., where he dreams of starting his new life.

Eric, with his tour halted, decides to audition new drummers and heads to the Hollywood Guitar Center to pick out a drum set. While shopping for some Argentinean click blocks, Eric hears drumming coming from the storage room. As Eric inches closer, he recognizes the song, "Oye Como Va," and starts to search for the origin of the sound. Eric discovers a large crate from which the music is coming. One by one, he uses his super-finger-strength to pull the nails out of the crate. When the last nail is removed, the side of the crate flies open with a thunderous "Boom." And there, in a pile of half eaten bongos, is a human arm sticking out. Eric pulls a damned good looking man from the heaping pile of rubble and notices a "Z" on his arm. Eric is flattered by the man’s fanatical devotion to "Zorro" and asks the man if he would like an autograph. The damned good looking man looks into Eric’s eyes and says, "It’s me, Ron Carlos you asshole. And get me some Pepto... I’m passing a bongo." They embrace a manly embrace and sob in each others arms.

Now united, the brothers form a new band and name themselves THE DOS SPANISH FLIES, after their favorite childhood pets. Reborn and under a new banner, The Dos Spanish Flies have become unstoppable in the music world. So run, don’t walk... fly, don’t drive to the closest Dos Spanish Flies show and fall in love all over again with the sexiest band in the world...

Lyrics

Hygiene

Written By: The Dos Spanish Flies

I dated a stripper once and I don’t know if you’ve ever smelled a stripper’s locker room, but let me tell you man…I just tell you.

Hot pie on the Fourth of July…Caliente
Delicious tasties that make me cry…Te gusta?
She was tall, dark, lean just like a dream
Coming to the stage Linda…Linda

Something was in the air that night…Steamy
Something foul and out of sight…Stealth
My dream girl, she turned out to be a nightmare…Sour

Went down to sample the feast,
Got attacked by a hairy beast…a hairy beast
Tears in my eyes girl, I can’t shake it, oh no

Vagina Hygiene…steamy
Have it, Have it or you don’t
Hygiene Baby
Have it, Have it or you don’t…stealth
Keep it clean woman
Have it, Have it or you don’t…sour
Don’t cause a scene baby
Have it, Have it or you don’t

Outback Wind

Written By: The Dos Spanish Flies

We wrote this next song for country singer Travis Troop…Travis Trick…Travis Treat…Garth Brooks, and he liked it so much and he’s going to put it on his new album, it comes out this Fall, it’s a dandy, it’s called Outback Wind.

When you weren’t looking
I pulled a one-cheek sneak.
And I really wasn’t’ truthful with you baby
When I said my sneaker squeaked…It wasn’t my sneaker.

I know I’ve been hiding all I’m about,
But I got this nasty secret and I’m busting it out
It’s growing inside me, I think it’s alive
So you better crack a window if you want to survive

Should’ve told you from the start
Baby I love to fart
On a bench in the park
Baby I love to fart
Checkout Stand at K-Mart
I really got to fart
Dutch-Oven in the Dark
Smell the love…Smell the love
Didn’t mean to break your heart
Baby I love…to Fart
Yeehaw!!

Discography

Hygiene, Outback Wind, L.A. Supermom

Set List

Typical Set List: L.A. Supermom, Hygiene, Monologue/Improvisation, Sandwich, Groovy Chick, Picnic, Outback Wind, Girlfriend, Freak On.
Our sets range from 15 to 30 minutes.