The Footwashin' Rock Baker

The Footwashin' Rock Baker


Faster than a speeding bullet! More powerful than a locomotive! Stronger than rent! Eefin' Rockie Bee crosses a speedy guitar with a powerful baritone and unleashes them both on the American Songbook. Rock Baker's American Songbook, anyway.


Rockie Bee's been on the job since 1995, playing the sorts of places you'd expect for a guy with a gruff delivery, a surly disposition, and a callous disregard for commonly accepted definitions of 'taste' and 'vulgarity.' The audiences? We're talking hooks for hands, massive goiters, human torsos, the gender-elastic, and weaselly fellows in the corners casting furtive glances to the doors and winders. It's been Tin Pan Alley -- the Roughest Place In Town -- for ol' Rock Baker, with occasional sidelong detours into the world of the 'hip, downtown bohemian,' usually as the guest of some well-respected benefactor, as a second banana to some Genuinely Talented Up-And-Comer, or a general lapse in judgment on the part of some ill-informed gatekeeper. Transformed from a Doughy-Headed Dreamer to an Arrogant Bad-Ass, the Footwashin' Rock Baker has collected a hypothalamus' worth of songs pulled out of the world's creepy and weird bolt-holes and and filtered them through a lightning accompaniment of solo guitar and gnarled baritone vocal stylings...


Get serious! That sort of notoriety has evaded me. I've got a trunk of home recordings I try to unload on the unsuspecting public:

"Footwasher's Choice" 2004
"Rock Baker is a Pirate EP" 2007

Set List

I can do about 2 1/2 hours to start. Then I've gotta take a half-hour or so to catch my breath, swaller some coffee, and burn one out. Then it's time to crush it for another 90 minutes.

I usually size up an audience early on with the medleys on the press kit -- "The Rake's Progress," which mixes "Squidbillies" with Elvis, Steve Earle, and Waylon Jennings -- "Truck, Train & Plane," which combines an old National Lampoon Radio Hour novelty song with Baltimore's great Johnny Love, some grunge recast as hillbilly hokum, and good old-fashioned surrealism -- and "SIN SIN SIN!!!," which mixes Gene Wilcox's grim acceptance of his fate with the Louvin Brother's story of redemption.

Once I've got your crowd sized up, you could be hearing the old cowboy tunes "Lorena," or "Back In The Saddle Again," psychobilly ghost stories like "Legend of the Piper," and songs of defiance -- it could be a gag, a Johnny Cash-styled version of "Breaking the Law," or a sped-up run-through of Three Blue Te