The Rants
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The Rants

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The best kept secret in music


"1st Album, Review by Robert Gorell"

Kitsch my ass!

The term “retro” gets tossed around like a skin-tight, poorly embroidered, permanent-press bowling shirt in the washing machine of pop culture. But in the case of the Rants, retro is a subconscious theme, an impression, an abstraction. It’s a journey back to the preironic era when people actually got down at rock shows — or the roller rink — and left the chin-stroking and passive head-nodding to the nerdy music critics (oh, how our precious irony has degenerated). Whatever you’re into, whoever you are, the message is to Get Back Into It! The medium: harmonized, kick-your-ass, smack-you-upside-the-head kitsch rock that’s twice as infectious as Ebola or mad cow disease and the Rants won’t even damage your intestines.

The title track opens up with the aforementioned desire to make you get back into it. “Dogs are Barking” displays The Rants’ lyrical prowess with declarations such as “I headed out west, tried to rearrange/I sold my best cowboy shirt for a burrito and some change/Living with hookers, thugs and toilet seats/Drank so much whiskey, thought that it was drinkin’ me.” “Hell or High Water” has falsetto lyrics like Brian Wilson might have written in rehab atop droning chord progressions reminiscent of the Velvet Underground. “Dance Craze” is a driving hip-shaker that reels you into doing crazy dances such as “The Fisher” till you catch “a keeper” (John Waters, if you’re reading this, I’ve found your next sound track).

For anyone who’s ever seen the Rants perform live, this album seems a tame complement — and that’s only because in person they appear to be possessed by the spirits of Buddy Holly, Marvin Gaye and Joey Ramone. The sounds here are raw and scantily produced a la early Pavement, yet the mood is something like the Modern Lovers on Prozac. And it’s sooooo good.

The Rants perform at detroit contemporary Sunday, Sept. 23 with the Sunshine Fix.

—Robert Gorell - The Metro Times


Get Back Into It! (LP, CD)
Look Passive (EP. Vinyl)
Single Action (EP, CD)
Detroit Breakdown Compilation (For Radio Play in Australia)
Live at the Blind Pig 05/07/04 (available online


Feeling a bit camera shy



After three years demolishing Detroit, Chicago and beyond The Rants stand poised to end the year on a crescendo; new album complete, advance copies changing eager hands and winning praise throughOUt the motor city from local greats: The Sights, Jim Diamond, Easy Action, The Paybacks & more.

Back in the Day:

In early 2000 The Rants had baby teeth. Sharp baby teeth. Now they've grown fangs, claws and a cold stare. Their moniker at the time could have easily been an affliction they were suffering from, not a declaration of their arrival. They were running into each other with red-faced excitement, barely breathing, heavy petting on the rock and roll couch. Mr. Robert Gorell of the METRO TIMES had this to say: "The term 'retro' gets tossed the washing machine of pop culture but in the case of The Rants, retro is a subconscious theme, an impression, an abstraction."
Ian Saylor of The Rants had this to say: "Too many bands know entirely too much about too many things. It leaves them no room to have something of their very own."
The Rants will wipe your slate clean. They'll force you to break your allegiances, burn your books, shove dynamite sticks in your speakers. Throw out your old songs.
This is a sound wave Jihad not a battle of thrift store T-shirts.


This band doesn't own 4000 records; they own the records that they've made themselves. They sound like volcanoes, gunshots at an orgy. Playing live they're like sonic roofies; you're flirting, making out, then taken advantage of.....left trying to figure out feelings of misplaced guilt. The Rants are Posthypnotic poster children for the friendly middle finger!

And in The NOW:

When approached, the band considers entertaining at finer clubs, festivals etc., and when approaching, they ask for your consideration in allowing them to do so.

What they have is what they've made while they've been here. & they mean it. Like it or not. Their tongue is not in your cheek.
The Sights
The Ofays
Saturday Looks Good To Me
Jad Fair
The Frogs
Easy Action
The UK Subs
Thunderbirds Are Now
The French Kicks
This Bike Is A Pipebomb
The Nice Device
The Riots & many many many more
Visit PAST SHOWS on for a reasonably full accounting.

Thank You For Understanding.
The Rants