The Seventh Affair

Song Review For I Wish You Were Here
From makeastar.com (Industry Review Panels)
The song made it into the contest for one of the best 16 reviews for that month and is the winner for that month. The band will receive a contract from the company to license the song and to be included in a compilation CD that Make A Star Records makes and promotes to the music industry.

Music:
As with your last song, this is really good melodically. Your verse section is interesting, original and emotionally evocative. It builds beautifully and sets us up for the chorus, which is a hit-you-over-the-head-hook if I ever heard one. Your second verse is not the same melodically as your first, so I suppose that can count as a third melodic section, which gives the song a bit more melodic variety than the last song. I feel there are some things you could do to enhance the song melodically, but they are largely in the realm of arrangement.Score: 9

Lyrics:
I thought the lyric was mostly good, sometimes very good. I especially liked the one line where you incorporated visual imagery: “The clouds were black on that day I watched you crying/I don't know if I can fix this but I'll die trying”…that last part is also very powerful, passionate and emotionally evocative. The part of the chorus that says “I would sleep and dream/that's what love means” left me scratching my head. But then I decided it did make sense on some visceral level (like, maybe if she’s not with you, you can’t sleep at all). So the lyric is very basic and youthful, but I think that could be a lot of its appeal. Score: 8

Arrangement &
Production:
A few nit-picking details on the arrangement: on the intro, I thought it would be better if the acoustic guitar started and the electric faded in. Then, at the end of the intro, just before the vocal comes in, the acoustic needs to hit that chord big and sustain. I felt the playing on the acoustic was a little tentative in general, and could be played with more force and confidence. Also, at the end of the intro, I think the electric should go out on that last chord with a note bending perpetually upward and stay out until the second half of the 1st verse, when it should come back in again with that cool counter melody. I could go on, but I realize I’m getting into way too tiny details. One last thought: I like the way the harmony comes in on the later choruses, but I feel the song should not go out on an instrumental of the chorus, but just keep adding more vocal parts to the vocal chorus. There’s a one-note (the tonic) high vocal part you could add. Score: 7

Lead Vocal:
My comment on your vocal the last time still goes. Your vocal approach reminds me a little of Billy Joe Armstrong of Green Day. I’m not suggesting you imitate him, but I want to hear in you more of the same kind of punky quirkiness that makes his voice so distinctive.Score:8

Musicianship:
Okay, this time you did throw in some guitar pyrotechnics. I wasn’t nuts about that section, but you did demonstrate you can all play really well. Good musicianship. (I especially liked the sustained feedback intro guitar). Score: 8

Originality:
I thought this song incorporated more stylistic influences and therefore more originality than the previous song I reviewed. Very good.
Score: 8

Marketability:
Having heard 2 of your songs now, I must say I’m impressed and optimistic about your chances of national recognition. You’re still really rough around the edges, and that’s a good thing in some ways. The trick is to balance the roughness and the sophistication in the most appealing way. I feel this song is even more commercial and marketable than the previous, but I feel you need to re-record it with some arrangement tweaks and a better producer. Score: 7

General Comments:
Hi Guys. After hearing 2 of your songs, I think you guys might get a shot if you play your cards right. As I said last time, I really think you need a great arranger-producer-engineer, not necessarily in the form of one person. Your instincts are great. You have a terrific song sense, and that’s the most important single factor, and the one thing no one can teach you. What you need now are mainly refinements – but not necessarily ones that will make you sound refined, if you know what I mean. I hope this was helpful. Best of luck!
Average Score 7.857
- Makeastar.com

Song Review For Damned
From makeastar.com (Industry Review Panels)
The song made it into the contest for December 2005 for being one of the top 16 reviews for that month.
The song will be in the contest starting December 6, 2005

Music:
I thought this was strong melodically. You basically have 2 song sections – 2 chord progressions, both simple but really appealing and emotionally satisfying. Normally I would probably want to hear a third melodic section (a bridge or instrumental based on new chords), but I honestly think this works quite well as-is. Score: 8

Lyrics:
I thought the lyric was good, but I feel it could have been better if you used more visual images. I thought the chorus lyric was excellent. I wonder if it’s a good idea to give the song a title that doesn’t appear in the lyric. I know this is fashionable, but it makes it much harder for people to remember the song and to request it at radio stations, buy it, download it, etc. “Goodbye To You, Goodbye To Me” or even simply “Goodbye” works for me. Score: 7

Arrangement &
Production:
I think you guys did a really nice job with the arrangement. I think more sonic contrast between the 2 guitars would have given the record more clarity and dimension. I’m also not hearing the bass part clearly. I thought the drums were very good (you asked me to comment on the beat, and I think this aspect is fine). The general recording quality was good, but not exceptional.Score: 8

Lead Vocal:
I liked the lead vocal. You have a nice, youthful directness and honesty. I felt it could have been a little more stylized to bring out the quirkiness of your character – perhaps a little more punky. I thought the harmony parts at the end were well thought-out, but I wanted to hear them converge with the lead better at the end of the lines. Score: 7

Musicianship:
I thought the musicianship was good. There was no stand-out pyrotechnics, but, for this song, that’s just as well. I thought you guys really worked together as a unit very well. Score: 8

Originality:
The sound is similar to a few bands that are out there today, and that’s good in that you fit neatly into that modern rock, emo-punk niche. So I’d say, within the niche, it''s quite original. Score: 7


Marketability:
I think this song – and the record – sounds contemporary and quite marketable. In answer to your question, I do think it’s releasable on a national level. I feel the production could have been stronger and some things about the vocals and the sounds could have been better, but I think it’s a good song and has a lot of appeal. Score: 7

General Comments:
Hi Guys. I think you’ve got a lot going for you – good songwriting skills, which is always the most important, good singing and playing. I hear a lot of potential here for growth, I feel you’re on the right track. If you were to ask me what would be the single most important thing you could do to improve, I’d say get with a really great engineer/producer, preferably someone with a great song sense as well. I hope this was helpful. Best of luck! Average Score 7.429
- Makeastar.com

Song Review For I Feel So Alone
From makeastar.com (Industry Review Panels)
The song made it into the contest for January 2006 for being one of the top 16 reviews for that month.
The song will be in the contest starting January 3, 2006


Music:
I liked the verse melody and the fact that you changed it a bit for the second verse (seemingly a trademark of yours). I felt the chorus was good, but not as original and distinctive as the last song of yours I reviewed. The rap section was a good touch, but it made comparisons to the Linkin Park-Jay Z collaborations inevitable. Score 8

Lyrics:
I liked the overall thrust of the lyric, but I don’t feel it holds up well under close scrutiny. I think the main problem is in your first verse: “Living in a ball of glass Seeing things that only last What's in the mind that one can tell All through my life I've bared the shells Trying only to change lanes But in my mind the dream sustains My mind sustains” I think line 1 is good, but line 2 doesn’t really say much to me. You may know what you mean, but the audience won’t. I think saying “seeing things that never last” would be more poignant. The next 2 lines seem awkward and unclear. By “bared the shells” I take it you mean as in artillery shells, “the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,” as Shakespeare would say. But didn’t it sound better the way Shakespeare put it? I think you can do better there. As I mentioned, you changed the melody of the verse from verse 1 to verse 2. You also changed the rhyme scheme. Normally this is a big no-no, but here I feel it works. I just want to make sure you’re aware that you’re doing it. Score 7

Arrangement &
Production:
I thought the production was good but not great. I’ve criticized the overall power and clarity of the sound of your recordings before, so I won’t go over that again. I feel the arrangement could have opened up more and built more in the repeated choruses at the end. Also, I wasn’t crazy about the solo bass intro; it wasn’t a hook that grabs you right off the bat. The first thing you hear in a record often determines weather or not you keep listening or change the station. I also felt the drum part seemed lethargic and low energy and didn’t propel the track along the way it should have. Score 8

Lead Vocal:
As I said in my last reviews, I like the lead vocal persona, but I don’t feel you’ve developed to your full potential. To make it on a national scale, you’ll need to find more in your vocal personality that’s unique and distinctive, become instantly recognizable, just by the sound of your voice. I think you have that in you, you just need to bring it out. Score 8

Musicianship:
I think your musicianship is pretty strong. As I said, I felt the drumming on this wasn’t as aggressive and energetic as it could have been. As with the vocals, I feel you guys are still evolving your instrumental sound, and still need to achieve that level of a totally distinctive, instantly-recognizable sound. Score 8

Originality:

I didn’t feel this was as original as some of your other tracks, mainly because of the obvious borrowing of the Linkin Park-Jay-Z formula. Score 6

Marketability:
Because of the above similarity, I don’t feel this is your most marketable opus. Unlike some people in the music biz, I don’t feel imitating another artist's formula is a good commercial bet. It’s freshness and originality that catches the ears of the radio people in the long run. Score 6

General Comments:
Hi guys. As I think you know, I really feel you guys have huge promise and, with youth on your side, you have a shot at going the whole route. As I’ve said, I think you should not waste your talent creating stuff as derivative as this, but continue on the path I think I heard on that most recent track, which is way better than this. Hearing this only confirms the fact that you’re improving. I look forward to hearing the next step in your development. I hope this was helpful. Best of luck! Average Score: 7.286
- Makeastar.com

Great Big Sound
I love the sound of this band. It's big and full of emotion, and even over the top sometimes - like the ending, which is typical of live play. The whole song from start to finish is well put together production-wise, and its a lot better than most recordings I've heard. The only thing to watch for is the amount of chorusing on the lead vocal. If it was me I'd put a little less effects on the voice.
The chorus is definitely anthemic, and no doubt fans will be singing along at gigs. It really is spot on, I really like the backing vocals that go high - it adds a lot.
One of the things I'm not so keen on is the drummer insisting on using straight eighths on the bass drum. This distracted me a lot, because it seemed to clash with the busier lead guitar parts, and maybe a busier rhythm with more 16th kick would sound better.
As for the arrangement, it worked fine for the recording, but this song has a lot of potential mucking about with in live situations. Firstly (this is a really small niggle) I would have prefered to use low floor toms instead of cymbals during the stop (2:51, though this is pure personal choice. A last suggestion would be to extend the 16th's build up (3:16) a bit longer for an extended version. But having said that it sounds great the way it is.
This is definitely a very good song in my view with an anthemic emotional sound. Good work guys.
- Garageband.com

Creed style guitars mixed with emo
You guys sound like a mix of Creed style rythm guitars with emo vocals in the style of Taking Back Sunday or Fall Out Boy. I am not a huge emo fan, but I would think that the chorus and arrangement would be appealing to fans of that genre.

- Garageband.com

Summer nights forever
Nice song. Clean production. Catchy chorus with the microbreaks.
The band sound like a mix of Bon Jovi/Texas and a million of powerballads, but they do stick out from the crowd because of their really personal vocalist. He´s not noteperfect the whole way, but that just adds personality and charm to the song. Hes a bit blurry but thats really okay in this song. The arrangement is okay, can´t see how it could have been different, a song for nighttime summer Fm radio.
- Garageband.com

Nice hook
This song has a very nice hook. Very powerful. The verse doesn't do it for me as much as hte chorus does. I definitely enjoy the sound of the guy's voice though he's putting it all out there for us and that definitely shows through. Very very solid.

As for the arrangement I think you guys are right on the money here. Everything is in the right place. Drums are well recorded and placed well in the mix, guitar and bass have good separation, singer's backing vocals are solid - all around good tune.

While you deifnitely have your own distinct sound I suppose if I had to find a band to compare you to I'd say third eye blind.

Nice track guys. Solid rock song.

B
Rockwell Jones
- Garageband.com

Hooked from the start.
I was hooked from the very begining of this song. Loved it all the way through and thought it was really well done. You sound to me like a new breed of music or something that is new to me atleast. keep it up!
- Garageband.com

what makes a great review!!
is songs like this. I love the design of the flow of music that you use, simply put the less is more in this case. not bad music and decent chord change ups make this song a easy listen and frurthermore, nice breaks and soft breakdowns cool music from a good band.
- Garageband.com